You've planned to meet someone, somewhere and you show up right on time or a little bit early. They are not there and are unresponsive to your calls and texts.I am always on time, I am NEVER late. I will not disrespect someone else and their time no matter what. Yet I think I've been being way too nice because on average I wait around at least 1 to 2 hours, due to how far I have to drive to get into the city.
Yet no matter how long I wait, as soon as I leave to go home, it never fails. I get a text saying "I'm so sorry, (Insert stupid ass lame, probably lying excuse) are you still there, are we able to still meet?"
Usually, this is 5 to 15 minutes AFTER I gave up waiting for them.
Then if I say no, I've already wasted enough time and energy they think I'm a bitch and mean for not turning around and going back to meet them.
The most common excuse I hear is, that they fell asleep and just woke up.
I just want to say are you too stupid to know how to use an alarm? đ because they literally KNOW I have to drive 80 miles + round trip just to go into the city to meet them and they be disrespecting my time, money and all that.
I don't feel they are sorry at all and have started calling people on that, when they say they are so sorry, I say "No you are not, or you would of been there on time." How long do you wait around for someone?
2+ hours
1-2 hours
1 hour max
30 minutes
15 minutes
5 minutes
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I am definitely going to be doing two things going forward, I'm not going to wait more than 30 minutes and if someone has no showed before I'm going to text them before I leave asking if we are still on and if I go no response, not going to even leave to meet them.
How long do you wait for someone when they do not show up on time to meet you for something that has been planned in advance?
I wait 30 minutes but by that time people text if they will be late lol if I was running late I would tell you I'm on my way just gonna be late and that's it lol people who don't communicate get blocked.
Yeah me too, if the road is blocked for some reason, car accident, avalanche, etc... I just record a voice message to text, saying Hey I'm driving and stuck here... so they aren't left wondering.
So I am the 10 to 15 minute early guy that hates to be late to anything or anywhere. So if you are 10 to 15 minutes late, that like 20 to 30 minutes late to me.
So back in the day before cell phones you made plans with someone at a set time and date and you confirmed the day before... then you waited 10 to 15 minutes tops then you bailed on the thing.
In today's world with cell phones, people call like 10 minutes till meet time and act they are covered because they called. So if you leave you're the asshole because they called. Even though they are 30 minutes behind schedule. So I still only give them 10 to 15 minute window and leave without telling them. I have people contact me 30 minutes later like I am here where are you? I am like I left I figured you weren't coming. They are like I called and told you I was coming. I say oh my apologies I didn't know you really expected me to wait around for 30 minutes, I thought you were fucking with me.
So I have heard of women who intentionally show up fashionably later to dates on purpose... because if guy waits around it shows her how interested he is in her. But to me it proves more about how desperate he is.
I've heard that too, always showing up late for the first date to make sure he is serious about her, to eliminate guys who have no patience.
I'm one that says the only thing worst than being late is showing up too early, I hate showing up early for exactly why you say. If I show up to something early and then they are late, now I've already wasted extra time, so I shoot for right on time all the time and make it 90% of the time.
I've also had the whole, send a text to say they are running late and they expect me to wait around for them... if I don't they get mad and say I'm a bitch cause they told me they were coming.
hun, I have been in your shoes. Back then when I was young, I used to tolerate that sort of disrespectful behavior because I was lonely and had no friends. I really had to settle for low quality people. Even though I was never late, they were always late. I forgave them a lot, pretended that I didn't mind it.
But what you need to realize is when you constantly forgive them or wait for them , it makes you seem like you don't have any self respect. It wasn't until I got older when I became more assertive and more decisive on who I spend my precious time / attention on. Low quality people who do not care or respect how you feel are not worth your time. They make unreliable friends. These aren't people that you can trust.
If your friend is late once in a while then it is fine. But if it happens a lot, you need to have a talk with them. If it does not change, you need to dump them. Because it clear as day that they do not care about you.
If they can get to work on time, why can't they meet up with you on time? because their job matters while you do not.
I remember waiting for an hour for a job that wasn't there until like an hour. I waited for these fukers and they came in with mcdonalds. Then they spat in my hands of my services with $10 an hour and I drove a whole hour and 15 minutes. N*gga...
Then was this time I came secure this job and walked in 20 minutes early... took them 10 minutes to let me prove myself. I... I'm now done. You either be here on time or here early and don't waste my time. So I might give them 30 minutes... an hour is now an insult to me and I see you're not worthy of my time. IDGAF if stranger things was good
I used to wait 5 to 15 minutes back when I was younger and learning how to set dates and screening women. People are just shitbags and have no consideration or spine to say no, so they say nothing or pull those excuses like you gave in your example here.
It is embarrassing to be sitting and waiting for a date you have been eager to go on and see only to get a BS response like "Oh, sorry! I totally forgot!" Or day of ambiguous details "I meant to get back to you last night, I am tired and will probably take a nap. Just FYI."
No accountability or consideration and sometimes they have the nerve to act like the offended one when you call them out.
With my friends, when there are events, people most of the time take their own vehicles to the events and usually show up on time or just like within 15-minutes of the identified time, but there are times when some have âno-showedâ (or âvery later showedâ up) for events.
Although this doesnât happen much nowadays, in the past when something has been planned in advance and there are many friends involved, we have set up âcar-poolingâ and we designated a place & time to meet to drop off cars and we set up a â15-minute ruleâ whereby after 15-minutes after the designated meeting time had been reached we would all leave together for the planned eventâŠâno matter what.â
it all depends... if they're friends, relatives, family, people I know... some I already know they will be a bit late lmao, as for others, I would be a bit concerned if they are late and do not respond to any attempt of reaching them
waiting around 30 minutes to an hour I consider it normal, depending on the circumstances... but most people are on time, or they just contact me and say something came up so they're running late
I remember one time a friend of mine was late for a bit over an hour, and when he finally made it he called me and asked where I was, and I said was waiting for him to show up... but that I had decided to wait for him at my place lmfao... then I just said he could just wait for me 10 minutes and I would be there
I remember once I waited around an hour. Then I got a call saying something went wrong and she couldn't meet up. It was very odd. We did meet up the next day and something was amiss.
Off topic but I remember meeting up with a date at a restaurant. I told her 6:00 PM and I showed up a few minutes early. She was sitting in the waiting area looking almost furious. She said, "Where were you?" I mentioned that the meet up time was 6PM and I asked how long she had been there. She said she got there at 5:30... I'm not sure why she showed up so early and I'm not sure why she was mad for me being on time. Oh well, I ordered up some wine with dinner and she was fine after a half glass... LOL... After dinner I think she was "in the mood" but I was on call for my job and I couldn't take it that far unfortunately. LOL
In college (which was many years ago), we had the 10-minute rule. If the professor did not show within 10-minutes of when class was scheduled to start, we all left. There was one professor who was chronically late, and we missed several classes. A group of us went to the Dean, and the Dean scolded the professor... he was never late again.
At my company, we have a similar rule. If the meeting organizer doesn't show within 15 minutes, we leave (or turn off Zoom) and go back to our regular jobs.
In general, I'll wait 15 minutes or so for someone, either personally or on business. Then, if possible, I will call them to see what the problem is. After that, if they still don't show, and don't let me know they're "on the way", I just leave.
I had a chemistry class at 8AM. I went to a college where there was a lot of snow. The snow was titerally waist deep as I plowed my way through it to get to class. I think we were supposed to wait 15 minutes. We were all about to leave when the professor shows up on a snowmobile and gets off and teaches the whole class in his jumpsuit.
I live in the Los Angeles and Orange County area where traffic is can be awful. As long as I'm notified via messaging or calling me that he or she is still pushing through with the meeting, I can wait as long as an hour. I can find meaningful things to do while I wait. Everyone I know or deal with has means to contact me. So, there's no reasonable excuse to fail reaching out to me. If he or she or they can't manage a simple text or call up to 15 minutes beyond the agreed appointment time, I ain't waiting and will split.
30 minutes to 1 hour MAX! Seriously, in an age where in your pocket and on most new car dashboards is a communication device that can call any phone number on earth, there is NO excuse to not at least call and let me know that heâs running late! You see itâs not the being late that is so disrespectful, itâs leaving me waiting there without so much as a call to let me know heâs running late, that is disrespectful!
Five minutes is the absolute maximum. If they cannot even be considerate enough to show up when they promised, then unless they have an absolutely fantastic reason for being late (ex. were involved in a car accident, or got held up at gunpoint), I will not waste my time waiting for them. If you can't make it on time, then arrive early. It's what I usually do.
I've always had a 15 minute wait limit. Doctors' offices included. My time is valuable too. I would just reply with, "I already left because I thought you weren't coming." If I believed their excuse for being so late and really wanted to meet with them, I would consider rescheduling.
It really depends on the situation. If something happens out of their control then that is one thing. I figure though if someone is always late they really don't care enough. I will wait about a hour. I am most of the time early and most people are late to everything which is annoying
I understand that traffic can be a thing, lights can be a thing, going to a place for the first time and not knowing the navigational difficulties of getting there can be a thing, but if you left on time in the first place 15 minutes should more than cover any of that. If Iâm not important enough to leave on time for that Iâm not interested in what the person meeting me has to say.
That is somewhat true, but here in Rural America we tend to only get service in the cities, out where I live, I have to use wifi to even make calls and stuff. So if someone is also coming from the country, they won't have service, except sporadically.
Its all the mountains, they can literally have a tower but you drive 15 minutes and they'd need another one due to the mountain now blocking the other one... I bet it is flatter there than in the rocky mountains.
If you call me to say you're running late and being polite - I'll wait an hour.
If you dont show up and you dont answer my ONE call (Im only calling ONCE) - Im either leaving or if its a restaurant I like, Im cancelling on you and eating alone. If its a concert or club I'm going in without you. If I have your ticket, you're fucked.
Back in my dating days I would allow a maximum of 30 mins lateness, unless of course I had been notified by phone or text that they were unfortunately held up/delayed and giving me an ETA.
If they haven't been respectful enough to call or text, I will leave. But I will give them about 15 minutes or so, just in case something happened and they could not call or text. When I leave, I will text them to let them know and to contact me to explain why they didn't show if they want to try again.
30 mins; 1 h if the person means something to me and has already called in and told me like I don't know their train is late or they on their way... whatever is reasonable
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