How long would you wait for a date to show up?

[Anonymous]

How long would you wait for a person to show up to a first date before you consider yourself stood up? (Please be sure to use the poll to answer the question.)

5-10 minutes (+ a call/txt)

10-15 minutes (after a call/txt explaining the delay)

15-20 minutes (+ a good excuse)

30 minutes (You actually sat around that long?)

More than 30 minutes (only in an emergency)

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the opinions and support, everyone. I was really starting to think that it was just me, and I hadn't wanted to wait an unreasonably short length of time (for an adult with a cell phone in a non-emergency situation to contact me if he's running late for our date). :-)

[ambertaylor]

15 at the most without explanation. All depends on the excuse and the location of the date, for example I wouldn't wanna sit about in a restraunt on my own, that's just lonely.

If it was a first date, as soon as 15 minutes was up, I'd be out of there because I'd be worried that I was being stood up.

However, if it's someone I have been dating for a while and I know they are reliable, I'd be willing to wait a little longer.

Also depends on how sincere my date is about being late, if it's simply because he took too long doing his hair then I'd say good bye and not bother again.

[Asker]

I keep getting stood up on first dates. It's embarrassing because the hostess will hover and check up on me (even in a kindly way, sympathizing with me), but I don't want that to become the standard. I was running late once because of a bus delay, and texted the guy; he was also running late and let me know; I asked for a few extra minutes since I needed to find the place (and wasn't familiar with the area), but we communicated. Other guys give no call/excuse at all -- SOME only if you call THEM

[ambertaylor]

It's the worst, happened to me a couple of times..it's just the ultimate slap in the face, any confidence just slips away. Communication is always the key in a running late situation, I hate not knowing the situation or where I stand, it's the worst. As for guys that have poor/no excuses and don't bother letting you know the score aren't worth a date at all.

[understanding1]

Life happens, especially for working adults. If you're meeting somewhere downtown after work you've got to take into account traffic, cell phones going dead, bosses pulling him into a meeting at the last minute and he can't text, etc. I vote 15-20 minutes but 30 minutes with a legitimate work or life-related excuse is acceptable one time. But I'm more forgiving than most people.

I had a guy show up 45 minutes late to pick me up and I wish I would have cancelled the date. He treated me about like a guy who shows up 45 minutes late...no respect!

[Asker]

Yes, there's life, and I like to give people ample excuses as it is, because I'm "a nice girl" (as everyone keeps telling me), only around these situations I just feel like a sucker... I just gave the latest fellow a run-down of things I won't accept from him on a first date -- or any date -- before I cut him off, and tardiness w/o communication is at the top of the list.

[raineydaygurl]

my poor current boyfriend waited 2 hours for me. I was across the street but too nervous to go over. I was texting him telling him these things but he was insisting I should come over anyway. he was way too nice about it. I went over to apologize face to face just before he left. I started walking home figured I'd never hear from him again but he texted me and said so when shall we try again:)" we both don't know to this day why he waited. it was also my first date I was 19 and thought he was out of my league. I still feel awful about it.

[Dobie_Gillis]

Back before the days where everyone carried a cel phone, if I was going to be more than 10 minutes late I would pull over and call so as not to keep her waiting. But now almost everyone does have a cel phone and there really is no excuse these days to leave someone hanging. If you are going to be more than 5 minutes late, call. Don't play stupid "control" mind games, all it's going to do is make you look like a flake.

[journeyman1126]

Honestly, I've waited a while... I usually don't ask anyone out, so I'm close to 100% on my yes answers... I figure with that high of a success rate, I should assume they're gonna show, right? Right.

[Asker]

I waited about 45 minutes for a guy who never called or showed. I was SO embarrassed. The hostess offered to get me a free drink and appetizer on the house, but it hadn't been the first time a guy had stood me up and I just wanted to go home and cry into a mug of hot tea.

[learningthegame16]

That sucks, but at least the hostess was sweet to you :)

[Asker]

She didn't know what else to do for me! She asked to see a pic of the guy, which I showed her (since we'd exchanged pics and phone numbers through out friends), but told me she hadn't seen the guy at all. (We were both trying to give the benefit of the doubt that he came too early, or to the other restaurant down a few blocks (with the same name)...) It was ridiculous...

[journeyman1126]

Guys are jerks.

[Asker]

Nah. There are lots of good guys in my family, for example. It's just hard to find people with the same values.

[tomfeltonforever]

Once I waited thirty minutes. For the same guy. Three times. He always had a decent excuse, but he turned out to be a jerk in other ways, so we don't date anymore. On the third time, I brought a book because I just figured.

Never again. 15 minutes tops.

[Asker]

"On the third time ... I just figured..." I love that. :-)

Sorry he was a jerk. I think the timing thing indicates how respectful the guy will be. I'm chatting/texting a guy this week who wasn't writing at first, then realized that I was waiting for him to tell me when he was free to chat. We're very careful about figuring out what time we are both free, and sort of stick to the schedule since he works at night and I work in the daytime. Afternoons are very sweet, lol.

[tomfeltonforever]

Oh, okay! Good luck with everything. :) If he ever makes you wait, he better have excuses. But multiple times is something to be worried about... I'm sure you know that anyway!

[Asker]

No, a new guy only gets one chance. There are plenty of guys out there who are willing to meet me on time, which is why I feel it's such a vast waste of time when I agree to spend time with someone who is that inconsiderate instead of a person who is respectful...

[tomfeltonforever]

You know what? You're absolutely right. :b The guy I'm seeing is always prompt, and it's just a relief. Too many immature people, both guys and girls, thinking it's cool to waltz into a restaurant in which you've been waiting in for twenty minutes... Yuck.

[lmea78]

I don't like waiting, but last time I waited 30 minutes because of traffic jam and rain, well he texted to let me know he was delayed so it was OK for me.

[Asker]

Yes, I think that with a text it's okay, as long as you have some clue about what's going on. :-)

[lmea78]

Yeah...I'm always on time so I was about to leave...but yeah...texted at least..

[Anonymous]

A few weeks ago this guy waited 30 minutes for me to show up... I went to the wrong place by mistake.. This disaster turned out to be a blessing in disguised, he was a blind date and we did have the opportunity to meet and boy was I sorry.. Things really do happen for a reason...

[Hey-you]

If he didn't inform me of anything, I'd wait 10 minutes and that's it. However, if he had a good excuse, I could endure 20 minutes.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

I'd say the longest I'd wait around is 15 minutes tops.

[jksbean]

Happened to me yesterday. Waited by his house for an hour and a half. Didn't answer his phone, or texts.

But he called me and apologized and had a decent excuse

[darlanoy0510]

I would give a guy 3o min grace period but I'm not going to tell him. I think most of my dates are pretty good in calling or texting if he is running late.

[CatholicVirginia]

It really depends. If he's running a half hour late, then he's running late. If he tells me, I'll wait or arrange another date. If it happens consistently, I'll make a date and not go.

[PANDAmonium]

Yeah I waited a long time once and never again shall I do that

[Anonymous]

I would wait a little longer depending on the reasoning or if I knew traffic was bad but 20 min is my max.

[Anonymous]

I wait 15 min. Max. If I don't hear from him then I'm done.

[Asker]

Done, like don't pick up the phone if he calls (the next day) or done for the evening?

[Opinion Owner]

I'd call usually around 10 min. past.

[samhradh_leannan]

I'd wait half an hour for a date, but no longer.

[Asker]

30 minutes with or without a call, though?

[samhradh_leannan]

Well, I guess it depends on the situation- where I'm waiting, whether or not I have other things to do, whether I have something to amuse me while I wait, etc. But I meant without a call. 30 minutes is pretty late, but it's not completely outrageous.

[Asker]

After the last stand-up I promised myself not to wait that long for a guy again. (The exception would be if it's a person I know well who is never usually late.)

[samhradh_leannan]

Well, it's reasonable not to want to wait that long. I haven't really experienced being stood up yet. if I ever do, that might change my opinion.

[Asker]

Yes, I think so.

Thanks for your answer. :-)

[samhradh_leannan]

You're welcome!

[redheadgirl]

I would wait for 30 but be texting where are you

[Anonymous]

Five or 10 min but probably 5..

[Anonymous]

I would wait 40 minutes... lol

[Asker]

I can't imagine... Unless it was someone you know for forever...

[Opinion Owner]

Idk, I've never been on a date lol, which is why I don't actually know how long I should wait :P

[larry69]

Be on time..PERIOD!

[Asker]

Excellent concept. So if the guy says 6pm and I'm there 5 to 6pm, and he doesn't show up at 6 sharp, I should bounce?

[larry69]

Yes you should..women need to be shown seriousness...you can get a date easier than a late guy!

[Asker]

You're right. Thanks. It's just that I never dated before -- arranged marriage, divorce, now sort of on that strange "limbo" where I'm older and never had a date, trying to figure out what the protocols are.

Thanks. :-)