Any ideas why my friend might be acting this way?

[Anonymous]

We've been friends for just over 10 years, we were super close then she moved away for college, but we were still really close. Since she met her last boyfriend-now fiance for the last two years it's not the same. I'll text her happy birthday and she ignores it. For the last couple years she would forget my birthday but would always say happy birthday like a few weeks later. When she told me she got engaged I said congratulations and asked if they picked a day yet and she ignored my message. She'll message me asking a question like when am I free to hangout and when I reply back, either she ignores it or replies back more than a week later. Recently she asked me again if I am free to hang out this week so I replied back and once again she ignored. I decided to text her more than a week later asking if she received my message so she said yes that she's sorry but her fiance was here and she figured that I would want it to be just us. Then she asked me if I'm free tomorrow and I told her sorry I'm busy. I can't even count anymore how many times this has happened. Yes, she did tell me private stuff about him and I'm the only friend of hers that knows something that happened in her family, but I would never say that to him. I'll take a random guess and say she probably lied to him about her past with guys but I would never say anything even if he asked me it's not my place. I'm just really hurt and I don't know if I should just cut her off, tell her or just keep doing the same thing. She also didn't invite me to her wedding or mention anything about it.

[DaveJord]

So I always say in dating, or any other type of relationship... once you feel that things are getting to a pion that you're putting out more effort than the other person, then how important is it to you?

So I had a resent incident with one of my friends from highschool. I mean we have been friends for over 30 years... over the years we would loose contact then reconnect then loose contact, so on and so on. So he connects with me says he was getting married, and that he would wants me to come to the wedding in October last year. Basically he did this with all our close friends. Then we all heard nothing so I text him and I find out what's going on, the guy got married and didn't invite a single one of us. Then says sorry it was a COVID thing that's now she's pregnant and will give birth in June. But he never told any of us that, just had the wedding and didn't tell anyone. Last week I find out from a mutual friend that they have had the baby, and he only found out because he actually called him to ask what's going on with the baby. He said the guy was super busy at the time and didn't have a lot of time to talk and would give him a call back later and then never did.

So for me I was whatever, this guy acts like he wants to be my friend and ever time I take an interest in him he blows me off... so I quit trying. Whenever he contacts me I always just say "Sure whenever your available I would love to get together, totally on you though just let me know." I never expect him to follow up or respond and he seldom does. If the guy ever shows up on my door step I would sit down with him and have a beer and talk about old times... but lets be honest at this pion in time he's not a real and true friend and he probably never will be.

[Sparkie460]

I think it's time you cut her off. She is putting you last. My wife had a friend that was like that. My wife always had to call her. My wife finally got fed up and stopped calling. It's been 2 years since the last time they spoke. They knew each other for well over 25 years.

[Changiis07]

Well then I would stop putting as much effort. Ignore her text as well until she realizes that she's losing you as a good friend. Sometimes they get caught up in relationships. Also I would want my friend at my wedding unless it was a very small one. Maybe try to distance yourself and if she puts effort than you can meet up. But sounds like she isn't trying to hard, plus you aren't setting boundaries even in a friendship. You can also communicate what you feel and let her know

[Anonymous]

I want to know why you keep calling this girl a friend when clearly she's not and you arnt either.
Call her out on her bullshit. Its healthy and communication is a 2way street. Fuxk texting too