Why is my friend acting so weird?

[Anonymous]

Jay is my little brother’s close friend. He is 22 and I’m 28. I have always thought of him as another little brother, so we are good friends. My brothers and I all share a friend group. We share everything with each other.

I went MIA for 4 months, because I started a new job and was really stressed. After that Jay seemed more distant and barely talked to me. Recently, he has started texting me all day long. We have never texted this much before.

Last week, I told him that he reminds me of my little brother, because he is a lot like him. He laughed and said that it’s because my brother also has an amazing personality. Then, I asked him who in our friend do I remind him of. He said that I don’t remind him of anyone. None of the women around him have a positive energy like I do. He said that there is no one like me. I told him that he was a sweetheart and the conversation went back to normal.

Ever since then, he keeps asking me if he really reminds me of my brother. Every time he asks me, I keep pointing out different things about him that remind me of my brother. Why does he keep asking?

Today, I found out that he has had a girlfriend since January. Everyone knew except for me. Why didn’t he tell me about her? We have always told each other everything. Why did he tell everyone else?

Sorry this description is so long. I’m just really confused. XD

Thank you for reading this and for your help. :)

I hope you have a wonderful day! <3

[Anonymous]

In a nutshell, he likes you. So you telling him you remind him of your brother is the worst thing a girl can tell a man. Well maybe not the worst. But it’s up there. So he’s trying to give you reasons or find reasons how he’s not like your brother cause right now he’s like shit this isn’t going anywhere. I’m in the friend zone.

[Asker]

Thank you for answering! :)
May I ask you what I wrote that caused you to think he likes me?

[Opinion Owner]

For one telling you no other girl reminds him of you. Two, constantly asking if he does remind you of your brother. He’s trying to find a way to distance himself from that by trying to push that thought out of your head. Then texting you a lot.

[Asker]

What if the only reason he said that I don’t remind him of any other girl because I am weird? What if he just doesn’t like being compared to other people? Maybe he just likes texting me because I am a close friend of his?

Haha I am just thinking out loud. 😂
Thank you for your explanation! I hope you have a wonderful day! 😊

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t think he thinks you’re weird. Even if he did people love weird things too. But as a man, who was once much younger I’m pretty sure I’m correct. Heterosexual men usually all think alike.

[EmmaMary]

For fuck's sake just ask/beg him to give you a damn good fucking... Get it over and done with... Simples!

[Asker]

Hahahaha 😂 I’ll do that! Maybe we can even ask his girlfriend to join us. 😆 I’ll tell you how it goes!

[EmmaMary]

Please don't forget. x

[spartan55]

You are confused? Come on really? Dude has the hots for you.

[Asker]

Part of the reason why I am so confused is because I do see some signs of that, but how can he be interested in me? I’m like an older sister to him and he has a girlfriend. So, I tell myself that he isn’t interested and there is another reason. I’m looking for another reason. 😂

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. ❤️

[spartan55]

Another reason for what? Neither of your two reasons matter in his mind. You think of him as a little brother but he doesn't feel that way.

[Asker]

I’m looking for another reason to explain his actions. I am looking for a reason that has a simple fix and isn’t so complicated. I guess it is just wishful thinking. :)

[spartan55]

I would bet anything I'm right. What are you going to do?

[Asker]

I told him that the reason I compared him to my brother was because I feel the same way about him as I do for my brother. I told him that I love him and I’m lucky to have him in my life.

I figured that if he only has platonic feelings for me, he would be happy to hear how much I care about and appreciate him, and if he had any interest in me, he would think that he is so far into the family zone that there is no possibility of anything ever happening between us.

It’s not like a relationship between us would work. He is 22 and just starting out his life and I’m a 28 year old with a biological clock who wants marriage and children. If we got into a relationship it would just hurt us and our friendship in the long run.
Most importantly, he has a girlfriend! I would never do something like that to someone.

If he really does have romantic feelings for me, he will get over them quickly, especially since he has become distant with me again.

Thank you for all of your help! 🙂 I seriously appreciate it. 💖

[spartan55]

You're welcome! Sounds like you handled it well.