Why does my crush and others like sweetness and vulnerability over my assertive, tough side?

[Anonymous]

When we were younger, I used to give him a hard time at school and was rough when speaking. If there was something I used to hate was being seen vulnerable, soap operas and romantic films. Sometimes I used to hang and play (wrestling too) with the boys mainly.

He once caught me helping an old woman take her injured cat to the vet. I still remembered he said something like ''I've never seen that side in you before. Very natural and docile. That was sweet what you did. Why can't you show that more, let yourself be vulnerable.'' I admit to being embarrassed and reverted back to my harsh tone, reminded him I'm not weak and I'm not sweet, spat on the ground and walked away.

We're in HS by now and I've shown my softer side more times and we're just friends at this point. He still doesn't know I have feelings for him. However, I overheard not so long ago. He was mentioning to a friend that I've improved but he wishes I continue showing my vulnerable, natural softer side more than the rough persona. I've been told this by others too.

[Vesuvius87]

Maybe it's for the same reason we like it when a man shows his assertive, protective side and provider qualities. Otherwise we would feel like talking to another woman.

Men don't want to talk to a woman that's on the edge, masculine and rough all the times. They're attracted to feminine qualities. I'm a martial artist in Judo but outside the class, I'm both feminine and nurturing.

[Anonymous]

Bc nobody can be tough all the time sometimes with your boyfriend or brothers you want them to be soft or caring and sometimes it’s nice to see some vunerability?
Also its like when I guy gets hit in the balls it makes him look really vunerable but you don’t think he is any less tough because of it and you may even find the sensitivity hot.

[BarryLiverstone]

Because you can’t Always be tough and hard edge. Relaxing and showing vulnerable sides is an indication you feel safe and trusting of him

[Asker]

I'm impressed that he still believes that I'm not that bad nor hard but actually sweet as honey deep inside. I think he likes me back but I gotta express my softer side a lot more.

[BarryLiverstone]

If you think he likes you then ask him out.