This is kind of crazy but would it be wrong if me and my boyfriend try to have a kid now because there’s a high possibility that his mom has dementia?

[xJayleenx]

The doctor thinks that she has dementia too. I feel so bad for her she has had 6 kids and none of them have given her grandkids and when she sees me she’s always talking about how she wants grandkids. My heart feels so bad for her me and her son want to have kids in the future not now but since she probably has dementia I want her to remember them and I think that the only way is if we have them now. I know it sounds crazy but I’m very heartbroken for her I’ve always been worried about her. This is just a thought I might not actually do this but would it be crazy? She is 65 years old now and I am 21 and my boyfriend is 25.

Updates

+1 y

My family has always told me that having a kid early would mess up my life and I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and struggling losing weight but im still thinking about this because I feel bad

[Aerissa_Jade]

You should have a child because you and your partner want to, not to try and help out his mother, as if she already has dementia it is probably too late anyways.

The good news is, if she is still around when you do have a child, you'll get to introduce the child to her and every time, it might be like the first time and she'll be thrilled.

Your age isn't the problem though, it is how stable you are. People in family often got married at 19 or 20 and had their first child by 21 or 22... but they were all stable. Had their own place, living on their own and able to care for a child.

[Smashingdoozy]

You should have a kid when you and your boyfriend are ready to. Nobody else should influence that decision. Yes it will suck that she may not know her grandchildren but would you rather your kids witness their grandmother degrading as they get older or would you rather them hear happy stories about her?

[Still-alive]

Totally agree

[Sparkie460]

You should have a child when you are physically, mentally and financially able to take care of it. Having a baby is very expensive. You just started your new job and you're only a temp.

[RealMarek]

If you and your boyfriend are ready for that responsibility, are sure your relationship is healthy and permanent, and want to have children together, then sure. If not, then no.

[whereismyjohnny]

You should have kids when you are ready, both mentally and financially. Having a kid is a big responsibility and decision that shouldn’t be made based on someone else’s wishes. I’d say you should really think about it first/talk with your partner and consider some things (are you both mature enough and financially ready to raise a child, the state your relationship is in, responsibilities that came with having a child and so on).

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I would be sure his mom really has dementia then take things from there having kids can be a problem especially if you are not financially secured. No offense to you and him

[HazyDaze63]

Having a child simply because of someone else's circumstances in life is never a good idea.

[DizzyDesii]

Have a kid if you're ready, not based on when the grandparents want them

[saffoler]

If she already has dementia it is kind of too late for that.

[motownplayer2000]

Not a super great reason to have a kid. Being honestly, but to each there own

[Bklynbadboy12]

Nope that's to big a responsibility to do it for the wrong reasons and the only right reason is to do it when you ready

[Chazmatazz269]

I do not think that’s the right time or the right reason to have children.

[TallAnon]

Yes, that's crazy. Live on your own and become independent first.

[888theGreat]

nope, never base a decision on some else and their life

[dolemite89]

you’re too young to have a kid i’d wait til ur at least in your late 20’s

[Shamalien]

Having kids in your early 20s is healthier and safer, and you’ll have more energy to raise em