Sometimes I feel guilty for my grandfather's disability, is my feeling normal?

[ChicanaChick]

This is something I never mentioned so far and would like to get it off my chest. My 68 year-old maternal grandfather is permanently disabled with a limp. He'll never walk perfect again. He works from home and gets paid for his disability too.

What happened is when I was then 3 years old, I stupidly ran on the streets, disobeyed my parents' instructions and he grabbed me on time. Meanwhile I was unharmed, he took the impact. He got ran over and barely survived. He almost died for me that day and limps forever as a result. I feel horrible, sometimes with guilt thinking about it.

[Mynameisbobby]

You were 3 years old and like any 3 year old just ran out into traffic. He obviously loves you very much and I bet he would probably do it over again if he had to. If you talk with him about this I'm sure he would say you have nothing to feel guilty about. Forgive yourself and realize you were acting like any other 3 year old. I struggled for a long time with a fight that I had with my dad having said some mean things to him. I went to bed and planned on apologizing to him the next morning. When I got up he had already left for work and I found out he was killed in a car accident. I was 12 and felt guilty and honestly I still feel bad about what I said and not having been able to tell him how sorry I was. I have let it go for the most part but when I think about it I still feel a little guilty. My point is I knew my dad loved me but when your 12 and angry you don't think what you are saying. My dad knew how much I loved him and probably realized that I was a 12 year old boy and knew that I didn't really mean what I said. Same with you, you did something that any 3 year old would do, and I'm sure your grandfather knew you loved him then and that you still do! Sorry for the long response. I hope it helps you feel better 💓

[ChicanaChick]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss and your overwhelming guilt. I know you didn't mean to say those bad things at age 12. You were just a kid and kids backtalk to their parents. It's normal. If it helps write a personal letter of everything he wished you had told me the next morning, take it to his grave and read it to yourself. I'm sure if he were alive, he would not have hold that against you. You as his son, he would always love you unconditionally no matter what.
He doesn't feel any regret for getting himself in harm's way. Someone once asked if he was back in time and had to do it all over with a high chance of dying would he... and he didn't think a second to answer it. His answer was a ''Hell yes I would''.

[Mynameisbobby]

Thank You for your very kind words 😊

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

You have to consider that most 3-year-olds don't know much about danger and I'm sure your Grand-dad has forgiven you but considering these things happen in our lives not much we can do.

[ChicanaChick]

The thing is he isn't upset about it and never seemed to be. He once said it himself that he would've never forgiven himself if he didn't save me. Wow, he risked his life for me.

[ChicanaChick]

I tried to repaying him by giving him money but he refused, said all he cares if I'm doing good in health, I'm happy and to see him succeed in life.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@ChicanaChick That is something he was your Hero that day Aww

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@ChicanaChick Aww, 🙏👼

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for Mho :)

[Sixgunsound]

Guilt is a natural reaction of a healthy mentally stable person. A sociopath would not feel guilty in this context.

[ChicanaChick]

Yet he doesn't want me to feel guilt. He even refused to accept money from me as my way of repaying him. To him, repaying him is seeing me healthy, happy and successful in life.

[Sixgunsound]

That is a great and honorable man. That is what a good man is supposed to do, put his life on the line for the people he cares about.

[Andres77]

To him I’m sure it’s a reminder of how much he’s always loved you

[ChicanaChick]

When I started my first job years ago, I wanted to repay him. I offered him money and he refused it. To him, me being healthy, happy and succeeding in life is repaying him.

[Andres77]

Best answer ever!👍👍👍

[Anonymous]

you can't blame yourself for that you were 3 years old

[ChicanaChick]

Someone actually asked him once if he went back in time and had to do it all over, knowing he can die would he. That's the one question he didn't hesitate to answer. He immediately said ''Hell yes, I would''.

[Opinion Owner]

of course he would because he's your grandfather and he loves you as any grandfather should answer without hestitating