On October 18, 2021, it will be one year since my beloved grandfather died. I was thinking about him and started crying uncontrollably. Normal or no?

Question

What can I do to calm myself down when I think of him?

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing loved ones is heartbreaking.

It's perfectly normal, as everyone grieves at different paces, and there's no time limit for healing (and you'll never fully get over it, but will eventually get to a point to where it doesn't sting quite as much; every now and then though, it will hit you like it just happened all over again, even years later). I think a year is still pretty fresh especially if you were very close to him.

I lost a very close family member nearly 10 years ago, and caught myself suddenly bawling after he entered my mind earlier this year. It felt as if it had just happened. I have healed as much as I ever will, but there are just times it all comes back.

It's important to eventually find peace with it and not allow it to interfere with your life in an unhealthy way, but it's completely normal to have times where the grief seems very fresh all over again, or for healing to take more than a year (sometimes multiple).

Apulu_3 · Accepted Answer

It is totally normal. I'm more sensitive because I miss my dead grandmother who died 5 years before I even took birth. I have only a blurry picture of her with not-so-clear face. Still sometimes I cry hardly at night craving her attention and love. For calming myself I start to force myself to stop crying then calmly mutter "grandma" again and again then it feels like someone is hugging me and then with that type of warm feeling I go to sleep. You must have different way of calming yourself. You should discover your method of calming yourself because all are different and have different methods. I recommend you to hug someone or your stuffed toy and cry because crying in someone's shoulder makes you feel more better.

BCRanger10 · Accepted Answer

He appears to be a wonderful man.

I won't say that some wounds never heal completely, but there will be things for which you will always feel the pain. Personally, I was very close with my grandfather. He died right before Christmas in 2006. I went to visit his gravesite at Christmas in 2019 and wept quite bitterly.

Allow yourself to feel that hurt. Don't try to brush it off. If you grieve, it means you loved. You're also still very young, so you haven't had all that much time without him. Say some prayers in Thanksgiving for his life, his love, and the good times you had with him. Journal a bit about him. And then, give a loved one a huge hug and tell them you love them.

Aiko_E_Lara · Accepted Answer

Sounds like you never tried to accept it and tried to forget about it. So that's why you're still not over and your grief just came back to you. Sure it's normal and I think it's pretty common but now you know, just keep remembering him even if it hurts until you're able to face it and make him proud *Hugs*

DJB72 · Answer

When you think about him remember his smile. How his house smelled. The touch of his hand. Anything about him that made you happy. Let those things fill your heart, not your sense of loss at his passing.

I've lost four grandparents, my dad and my little brother (plus a LOT of others) in my life - all before I was 30. I lost myself after my dad died for a while. It's tough. It's also normal.

Celebrating the time we had with them is a better way to honour who they are to us than mourning for ever.

SGTAdam · Answer

Time heals wounds. I'm sorry for your loss, and I understand how it feels. I lost both my grandmother and grandfather years ago, and when you think about it a lot it can make you sad, but now I don't think on it as much as I did. 25 years for my grandfather and 16 years for my grandmother. Can't believe it's been that long tbh

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Perfectly normal... My daughter was very emotional when she was pregnant and broke out sobbing Christmas morning even though her dad had been gone for years.
Remember the good times, a memory that will make you smile and try to remember your grandpa would want you to be happy and enjoy life💛🙏

crmoore · Answer

It's normal. I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

Sometimes you need a good cry to get out all of those emotions, but if you do want to calm yourself down, my suggestion would be to try and occupy your mind with something else, or I other words, distract yourself. Go watch a YouTube video or something that generally retains your attention.

t-8900 · Answer

I'm sorry to hear about it but it's completely normal. Is this your first experience with death of a loved one?

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Very normal. Just try and think of happy times with him.

Fireguy17 · Answer

completely normal, you can look up all of the steps of the grieving process, but yes, something will bring back a memory and it will happen again and again.
Probably be more worried if you didn't get emotional.

horatiohornblower · Answer

Yes it's normal. First year is probably the roughest anniversary of someones death. But it gets easier. Until you get to the point where you almost forget.

bolverk · Answer

Yes its Normal in as much as normal can be as everyone's path through grief is different, as for calming yourself down, think about the happy times with your Grandfather it will give you something to smile about.

JenniferStar · Answer

*hugs* I would say it's normal, you loved your grandpa a lot. Try to remember the good times, that you can smile about.

Yahall0 · Answer

Dear your grandfather must be in peace you should not worry about him no one likes their loves one to feel sad about them so don't be sad dear they only want to see you happy remember that ☺👍

SnakeBoop · Answer

Pretty normal. Most people cry over dead relatives when they think about them.

Anonymous · Answer

yeah it's normal. 1 year isn't that long ago, so memories are still fresh in your mind. It's also healthy to cry, rather than keep all your feelings bottled up inside.

noohair · Answer

You are lucky, I did not meet 3 of my grandparents.

sattii2607 · Answer

It's completely normal and it's really sweet that you were emotionally connected to him.

exitseven · Answer

Yes it is normal. I had a similar experience.

SuckItBaby91 · Answer

Just pray for jim to be in heaven And be a good person, and have good people arpund you I think thats one of things he would want from you :)

andy530 · Answer

Normal definitely normal

jimmy2 · Answer

Honey death is part of life

Sidfawy · Answer

Pray for him

On October 18, 2021, it will be one year since my beloved grandfather died. I was thinking about him and started crying uncontrollably. Normal or no?

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On October 18, 2021, it will be one year since my beloved grandfather died. I was thinking about him and started crying uncontrollably. Normal or no?

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