My grandpa is suffering from stage 4 leukemia and he isn’t getting better. He isn't talking much anymore, he’s skinny, weak and he won’t eat or talk. He is in hospice right now and we’ve been there for him and visited. I was hoping for a miracle but NO, cancer has spread and that is NOT what I wanted to hear! I refuse to accept. We don’t want him to suffer, but please don’t take him away! My family says God had the final say and that’s the most blunt thing people said! Going through a hard time and I don’t need harsh criticism! God don’t take my grandpa away or I’ll never forgive you! What am I supposed to do? Also NO INSENSITIVE COMMENTS! If I see one, I will report you. Sounds mean but I’m tired of being nice. I went through the losses of my parents (mom at 18 and my dad, 19) and it stinks.
No point in hoping for a miracle since he’s going to pass away. He has a short time to live. 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔
3 mo
How the hell am I supposed to cope with the fact that my grandpa is dying? ?
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I'm so so sorry you're going through this with your grandpa. It really sucks and it's totally normal to feel sad, angry, upset - let yourself feel whatever you need to feel and don’t bottle it up. Dealing with losing someone you love is the hardest thing.
I know you and your family are supporting your grandpa so much right now by visiting. Even if it's hard seeing him not well, I'm sure your visits mean everything to him and remind him how loved he is. You're doing everything you can.
For coping, talk to friends/other family about memories of him. And be easy on yourself - give it time. Losing people is something that always hurts, even if you've dealt with it before.. Remember the happy times you had with him - maybe look through old photos together. It also helps to focus on making the most of the time he has left. Let him know daily how much you care.
And as for after, you'll always have those special memories in your heart. He shaped who you are. When you're feeling sad, remember he'd want you to be happy too.
It's so tough losing people we care about. Lean on those around you as much as you need - you don't have to deal with it alone. And know that even when he's gone, you'll always have the memories you two made together. Nothing can take those from you. He'll live on in your heart. I know it sucks, but you'll get through this like you have before.
You're strong and you'll get through even though it hurts. If you ever need someone to listen, I'm always here for you luv. You've got this.❤️🫂
Thank you. A lot of people are very insensitive
You're so right, tho. People can really suck when it comes to dealing with loss and tough situations. Like, we're already hurting so bad - the last thing we need is unhelpful comments or criticism.
It's like, do they think we don't already know about death being part of life? Or that miracles don't always happen? We're not dumb, we just want to hold onto hope as long as we can.
And saying "it was God's plan" or whatever... like that actually helps at all? If anything it just makes me angry at God! I'd rather people just listen if we want to vent or cry, you know?
Don't even get me started on the "he's in a better place now" line. Man, I wanted him HERE with me! Ugh. People really need to think before they speak sometimes.
You did the right thing standing up for yourself. This is such a hard time already - you don't need the extra stress of dealing with insensitive jerks on top of it all. I'm always here if you need a shoulder, okay? Keep your head up, Queen.
It looked like my sister was going to pass away 8 years. Ago. They put her in a medically induced Coma. We prayed every day for her. She surprised the doctors with her turnaround and eventually came out of the coma. unfortunately it left her with some brain damage. And 3 years later we went through it all again. But this time there was no month long wait, no endless prayer vigil. This time she went quickly. Now what I haven't told you was my sister had a chronic medical condition and went through untold surgeries throughout her life. I truly believe God wanted to take her the first time. But he knew how many people were praying for her. I believe God gave her back to us for those 3 years. So we could say our final goodbyes. God loved my sister and he couldn't bare to see her in pain anymore. I truly believe that. And now she's feeling no pain she's been reborn in heaven with a new healthy body and is surrounded by God's love. Know the pain your grandpa is in and is fighting with everything he has left to stay for you. Don't give up miracles do happen. It happened for us. But know his passing is still inevitable. And taking him from you is the last thing God wants to do. But God doesn't want to see him in pain anymore either. If it happens, rage if you got to. God will understand that. And know that he's holding you and your grandpa right now. I'll pray for him and you🙏😭
Death is a reality that many knows exist but its hard to face. Whether your religious or not its a part of the cycle that affects all walks of life. You many not want him to go and that is understandable because you are not ready or your family is not ready but what if what is in your grandfather’s heart different. What if he is ready and he is tried of suffering. The only thing you can do is spend as much time as you can when you have the chance. Its better to focus on the good memories and opportunities rather than seeing the final end. You said it perfectly in how do you cope with the facts. And the main way is acceptance. Be the supportive family that he needs