Does this mean I'm going to lose my grandpa soon?

[Anonymous]

My maternal grandpa is 81 and his memory has been declining for some time this year.

I (30 F) was visiting my parents. Mom was doing some errands and dad was watching a war movie. Grandpa overreacted and started accusing my dad (his SIL) of cheating on my mom. I kept telling him, it's me, your only female grandchild and the oldest. He has 3 other grandchildren and 1 great-grandchild; all of them males.

He really thought I was a young, mistress my dad was cheating with. It took a while for him to recognize me. Does this mean I'll lose him soon? I hurts so much seeing him like that.

Updates

8 mo

That's the first time he had an episode of not recognizing me. He's forgetting things but I never thought it would go that extreme of confusing me for a mistress.

[WindAtMyBack]

This is likely a sign of some type of dementia. I don't think you can conclude he will die "soon" though. It could be years. But at 81, he has increasing odds of dying regardless of his health.

Once someone reaches that age, there are all kinds of things that could take him fast. Even at my age the risk of dying is significantly higher than it was 20 years ago. There may or may not be any warning.

Talk to him while you can. Ask any questions while you can. When someone is gone, it's simple conversation that you miss the most.

[WindAtMyBack]

Keep in mind that the brain is constantly rewiring itself. This is why some periods are better than others. The brain rewires and the person is more lucid. When the new wiring degrades it gets worse. Then the process starts over again.

[Asker]

I'll be visiting more often, try to make the best Time before it's too late. This is so sad.

[WindAtMyBack]

Record his voice. People always have pictures, but hearing his voice will bring back memories more than pictures will.

[Red_Arrow]

He is not going to get better. That is one of the hardships of dementia, that there is no way to reverse it or even stop its progress. If your mother had been present she probably would have been able to straighten his thoughts, but it would not have been permanent. And things will continue to decline. Hopefully he will recognize who you are, but other kinds of events will happen.

He will probably need to be placed in a memory care facility. It is unfortunate that the mind can come apart like that.

[Asker]

This is so sad. I missed the grandpa that used to call me Peaches and tell me all kinds of stories. Life is very short indeed.

[NamerOfStars]

Unfortunately, you probably are. Dementia's awful like that- you may end losing him YEARS before he dies. It doesn't always pile in completely right away; there may be times of lucidity, but it doesn't get better. And it can't really be stopped.

Not too long before the end, when my mother was laying in bed, dying of cancer, I was sitting up watching her, and she began struggling in her sleep. I approached, very concerned, and she suddenly woke up, saw me, and asked "[My father's name]?". That was fine; the two of us look like clones, thirty-odd years apart.

"No" I gently replied.

"Oh." she said. "Who are you?".

It wasn't asked harshly, or like an accusation; just like you would if you were meeting someone you didn't recognize. But it hurt like hell.

[abc3643]

It seems your grandfather has a form of dementia. Yes, it's not good. Talk to your mother about this; she likely knows what is going on - like a diagnosis so she'd be able to tell you his destiny.

[abc3643]

Be with him and play and listen to music from the 1950s for him. Watch how he reacts. Then, ask him about old TV shows from the 1950s and 1960s.