Should I be forced to babysit my niece?

[Ameliabegumx]

My brother and his wife had a daughter last year and my relationship with his wife has never been good, ever since she’s been married to my brother she has hated me and my 2 sisters. There was never a reason why she didn’t like us. After she had her daughter she changed and suddenly wanted my help with the baby, she started acting nice which she never did in the 5 years that they were married for before they had a baby. I love my niece so I didn’t have an issue with babysitting her but she would ask me to babysit multiple times a week, it was becoming a problem because I felt like I always had the baby and couldn’t do the things I wanted to while she could go out shopping and meet up with friends. The main issue is that she treated me like shit before they had a baby, she never bothered with me and never wanted to spend time with me, she just sees me as a personal babysitter. If she was nice to me from the beginning of the marriage then I wouldn’t really mind but the fact that she didn’t pay us any attention or care to bother with us is why I don’t feel comfortable doing her favours. I know if I had a baby she wouldn’t be taking care of mine, it’s like she feels entitled to just dump her child on me whenever she wants. She always puts me on the spot and asks me in a way where I can’t say no, she pressures me to look after my niece. Multiple times a week is too much in my opinion, I’m 22 and I do have a life of my own. I’ve decided to ignore any messages she sends me asking to babysit, I don’t know why people have babies and then expect other people to raise them. Am I being selfish?

[Pyrofox]

If they want you to be the kids nanny 24/7 you expect to get paid in some manner. And point out that you'd be okay with like 75% the rate that an actual Nanny would have cause its family. AND that if you get them to invest into you it would give ya a little money excess money to ya know be able to get out of the house and do something actually interesting with said niece.

Then pull a fast one and completely befriend the niece and watch the sister in law truly find out what misery is XD. When her own daughter likes her aunt more than her mom. Cause her moms not around ROFL. Nothing is more disturbing than the look of disappointment from ones own kid.

[MementoMori777]

Not at all, this sounds to me like she's taking advantage of you by the way she treats you nice all of a sudden, I'm pretty positive that the day you say know she will treat you bad again and you shouldn't feel pressured to take care of it, after all the kid isn't yours and instead of no say you can't, it sounds better

[MementoMori777]

No**

[MementoMori777]

I'm not trying to motivate you to lie in any way or form but use something as an excuse, go shopping if you got too

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Put all of what you said here in writing and share it with your sisters. If they agree with you 100%, share it with your brother afterwards.
Get a consensus within your family first.
Your brother will understand if you present your case properly.

[tfan1]

No she sees you as a sucker I’m sorry to say. Talk to your brother about it especially if he remembers how she treated you and your family before she had the baby.

[Ameliabegumx]

My brother actually knows she treated me like dirt and didn’t do anything to stop her, he’s always on her side and will never tell her she’s wrong because he’s scared of her. It’s either her way or she will throw a tantrum like a baby

[tfan1]

That’s wrong he’s scared of her. He should stand up to her and put his foot down.

[Guy13]

If you are feeling like the mother then that’s a problem. Express that too her NICELY and decline the invitations.

[Nahid1707]

You don’t have to no, Amelia.
As you say you Love your niece and want to be part of her life so you can babysit if you want.
Hope you get along better with your sister in law. No to answer your question in the end there in Last part. 😊

[TallAnon]

You don't need to do this. Just say you'll be busy, say it enough and they will stop asking.

[Agape93]

You can't be forced to.

[Ameliabegumx]

Forced as in if someone puts me on the spot and asks me I feel pressured to say yes, and if I say no then my brothers wife will twist things and tell my brother I rudely refused to take care of their daughter, she’s evil

[Agape93]

So it's not force, you just don't have a spine to say no.

[Ameliabegumx]

Well okay then 💀 thanks a lot love

[Agape93]

I highly suggest telling them to fuck off, and if they leave the kid, call CPS