Is it ok to learn to be happy for always being alone?

[Haha456]

For many years I struggled to make friends. The ex friend didn't care about me anymore after she met her boyfriend. My other friend forgot about me after he got married and moved to another state. I was always painfully lonely as a child. I had little to no friends growing up. I was lonely all throughout my mid 20s. But now it hit me that friendship is not the solution to resolving loneliness. Vast majority of friendships do not last and very rarely can you ever find a "friend" that you can actually rely on when you're sick or injured. Despite the fact that I don't have anyone to go on vacation with, nobody to do things with, nobody to eat with, nobody to invite me to go to parties, nobody wishing me happy birthday, I still don't feel lonely. Because at the end of the day, I don't believe life is much better on the other side of the coin. I used to not eat out at restaurants due to fear of being alone but now I embrace it. Even if I get pregnant and start a family on my own as a single woman, my kids will move out of the house one day. And I will still be all alone at an old age.

Thats why I think its important to stop believing that there must be people in your life to do things with in order to be happy. You come into this world as alone and you will leave this world alone

[exitseven]

Okay- it is sort of a cold way to look at life but I can understand it. I didn't have too many friends either and I have fewer now that I am older. I did however create a really nice family and I feel lucky to have them.

[Haha456]

even kids leave when they grow up

[exitseven]

yes they have all grown and gone, still we see each other a lot and I look forward to grandchildren.

[In_Trance]

sure

[Red_Arrow]

You do not come into this world alone. Obviously your mother is there with you. There are medical personnel there to make sure your birth is safe and to check for any problems after birth. You mother continues to be with you and usually the father is there a lot, as well as other family members. For your preschool years you are obviously never alone. Once in school, most children are surrounded by other children. Once out of high school, many go on to college and are surrounded by classmates, Others from the school that you meet and join up with, and dorm or fraternal students you live with. After college, many return to parents' home till they are ready to leave. For many that is years later when the parents are ready to kick them out.

And in your old age you are usually with family or in retirement/nursing homes where connections are made with others there. And hopefully there are family members with you when you die.

[Haha456]

just because you are surrounded by people, it doesn't mean you can't be lonely or feel alone

[Red_Arrow]

Almost all are there for you. If you feel lonely that is your choice.

[Haha456]

no. not everyone is there for me. if that was the case, there would be no suffering

[Haha456]

if everyone cared about each other, there would be no loneliness or suffering.

[Red_Arrow]

Almost everyone I mentioned is there for you. You just refuse to let them help you.

[Haha456]

you're just a troll.

[Red_Arrow]

It is obvious that you are a troll!

[Haha456]

you're probably just retired with too much time on your hands which is why you're causing trouble on here

[Red_Arrow]

Actually, I am still working full time and come home to care for a disabled daughter. No time on my hands. So you are wrong again! And you spreading your nonsense about people not helping and caring for other people makes you the one causing trouble on here.

[Haha456]

nobody wants to hire a 75 yr old, liar. you need someone taking care of you, not you taking care of someone else

[Red_Arrow]

I have been with this company for over 25 years. So that was much younger. And I have no trouble taking care of myself and my daughter. And your attitude shows why no one wants to be around you.

[Haha456]

you contribute nothing to this question. and now you're just trying to cause trouble. why should i be nice to you?

[Red_Arrow]

I contributed the truth while you made up shit. And I doubt you could be nice no matter how hard you try.

[Haha456]

homeless people are always surrounded by people on the streets. if people were so caring, then why would they still be sitting on the streets?

[Red_Arrow]

I have been referring to people that are with family and friends they like. Not surprised that you think of friends as homeless drunks.

[Haha456]

I don't have family or friends, dumbshit. if i had them, i wouldn't be lonely.

like i said u make absolutely no sense, ur just on here to cause trouble

[Red_Arrow]

Most people have family, but even if you don't you can have friends. If you don't, it is because you drive people away. Makes perfect sense. You are just on here to argue with everybody.

[Haha456]

my family is abusive.

the only person that needs to be driven away from this question is you and your ignorant assumptions.

yea... you know that i must have a family and that they're perfectly fine.

yea... there is a saying "the older you are, the more ignorant you are"

the saying fits you perfectly well like a glove

[Red_Arrow]

I do not know that your family is still living. And I do not know that they are abusive. And I do not trust your belief that they are abusive since you are running down almost everybody. I have only make assumptions based on what you have said, so if they are wrong, it is your fault. Nobody needs to be driven away from this question, but it certainly appears that you should not have presented it as warped as it is. And if there is a saying "the older you are, the more ignorant you are," it is said amongst the young who have yet to learn much. A better saying is, "The older you are, the more you have lived through and learned". And that one fits me.

[Haha456]

yea... where did you get the belief that my family and friends must be here to help me?

my family is abusive. I have absolutely no emotional connection with them. I am abandoning them next year.

I have no friends. All of them have either moved away or gotten married or betrayed me.

so yes.. your ignorance is what got you such a terrible response from me.

[Red_Arrow]

I said that your mother is present with you when you are born. I also said that medical personnel are there at your birth. I said that family is with you after, I did not say the relationship is good regardless of who messes that up. You tell us that you have no friends, that they have all moved away, married, or betrayed you. Most people retain friendships with friends who marry or move. And you are blaming all the others as "betraying" you. So my responses are to what you have portrayed. My "ignorance" is not ignorance. It is reading what you have said.

[Haha456]

you are ignorant because there's nothing you've ever said that was true.

if your definition of "not being lonely" is to be constantly surrounded by people. Then the term "loneliness" will never exist in the English vocabulary. Because truth is, there is people everywhere. They're at work, at the market, at the dmv, at the white house, at the hospital.

does it mean that nobody should ever feel loneliness? NO

so go fuck off and quit trolling.

[Haha456]

Along with your fucked up assumption that "everyone must have family who loves them and cares for them" proves that you probably never lived a difficult life at all. Just because you had someone who loved and cared for you, it doesn't mean everyone else had the same luxury. Just because your life was easy, it doesn't mean everyone also have it easy.

[Haha456]

[Most people retain friendships with friends who marry or move. And you are blaming all the others as "betraying" you. So my responses are to what you have portrayed. My "ignorance" is not ignorance. It is reading what you have said.]

95% of friendships do not last. Friendships end when friends decide to no longer keep in touch, get married and move to another state, when they have other bigger priorities or when they meet newer, more exciting people.

There is no point for me to keep in touch with fake friends who don't treat me well or prioritize me in their lives. A facebook message of "Hello" every year from a friend who moved 100 miles away , will not ease my loneliness either.

you're living proof that older doesn't equal wiser.

[Red_Arrow]

You are living proof that people can go through life without learning anything.

[Haha456]

Haha i think there's already proof that is true about you: 75 years old yet you're still wrong about every single thing

[Red_Arrow]

lol. 31 years old and you haven't gotten anything right!

[Haha456]

haha you're soo immature. how embarrassing at 75.

you were wrong , now you can't take the fact that you're wrong.

you're living proof people don't mature with age.

go away little child, stop disturbing the peace.

[Red_Arrow]

You are so immature that you do not even know what maturity is
Wasn't wrong and still not.
You better hope that people mature with age or you will never be mature!
Maybe you need a piece to get your peace.

[Clairebear799]

Yeah and it’s obvious why based off most your questions

[Haha456]

what about most of my questions?

[Red_Arrow]

You have that right!

[Mynameisbobby]

I learned at a very young age that it's more important to learn to be alone first than that way you never feel like you always need to have someone in your life. It's important to learn how to enjoy your own company.

[Jamie05rhs]

Aww.