How can someone expect someone to be happy all alone?

[Anonymous]

Like not having any friends like I had had conversations with my sister and she goes some people want to be in your spot so bad referring to the fact I have a nice job, a dog, my own car and a nice apartment. My response to her is what does all that mean if you’re not happy besides the dog it’s all material. I used the analogy of celebrities they make a shit ton of money and live lavish lifestyles and some still aren’t happy on the inside. But for her I’m just supposed to be ok constantly being alone

[TenderFantasy]

Well, I think there's pros and cons/good and bad to be being alone. One is that you don't have to cater to anyone else's needs/wants except your own. You have more privacy in your apartment and can do whatever the fuck you want in there, save for anything illegal or partying too loud that you're disturbing your neighbor's wall and peace. Secondly, you can date 7 girls at a time (one for each day of the week, to put it in extreme terms). You can have sex with each and every one of them (but just hope you do it responsibly so that you don't have to owe any child support if you don't want to spread your genes like a lot of people do or can't afford to you don't want it with a particular girl).. You can COOK/MAKE anything you want and don't have to pick up after yourself if you didn't want to (though I would not recommend getting used to something like that lol).

On the other hand, a lot of those women could just be prostitutes and/or one night stands! At the end of the day, you don't love any of them! Or maybe just one, but she happens to be the prostittute or call-girl. You can also also get a dog for company or just go out with friends too if that's more your thing.. Hang out with FAMILY on the weekends or friends.

Sometimes people think being in a relationship is more work than it is worth sadly. But then when they are old and gray with white hair or they reached Middle Age, they are wondering why all their friends are now too busy to hang with them and they want to be with their families instead. Same with your grown up brothers and sisters who all have their own family times and memories to make.

Not being married or having anyone like a life-partner also means you WILL end up likely growing old and sick (in your last years) with no one to be with in the nursing home, if you make it that long in your life.

I'm not trying to bum you out, no way. I am just saying that everything in life has pros and cons. I think you already know this. Good luck.

[sage2021]

The material things your sister thinks should suffice to make you happy. NOT!
Come on. I know you want a companion, someone to hug you, to love and care about each other. You just haven't found that person yet. The worst thing you can put yourself in a pressure cooker and for yourself to be happy and alone.

My definition of happy is different that most people. I think happy moments happen in a person's life, but they are fleeting moments

A married couple could claim they are happy. But even that happiness is fleeting. I think a better word might be content, we enjoy each other's company.

I don't know where you go to look for a campaign, but taking your dog for a walk or just sitting on a park bench with your dog is good because there will be other people there with their dogs and it makes for good conversation and maybe a date.

Volunteer some places where there are people around you can enjoy being with. That works too.

Kindly tell you sister to keep her opinion to herself about you being happy. You know what you want and she is not you.

[HawkPerception]

To be fair, your sister is somewhat correct. There are a lot of people that would trade positions with you, including myself. I don't have any of those and I'm definitely not happy. At least you're financially stable, have a place and a dog. I understand that material possessions aren't what make you happy. You could be be the richest person in the world and not happy. Because truthfully, true happiness comes from experiencing things with loved ones.

All I can say is you're in an ideal position to find a partner to share your life with now or friends with similar mindsets. There's literally nothing holding you back. Go places and force yourself to socialize. It's the only way things will change. I know you probably already know but you should be grateful for what you do have in life. You have a lot more than a lot of people out there.

[Lynx122]

For me it's pretty easy to be happy alone. That was my life for quite a while. If you want other people in your life you have to make sacrifices and compromises and put effort into it and you might not be willing to do that otherwise you probably already would have friends. Your decisions and priorities led you to this life so if you want to change things you'll have to change your priorities but it will mess up some other things in your life that you're enjoying right now. You have to figure out what you want. Maybe you also have to work on your social skills.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'm alone (other than my rescue kittens). I'm loving life.

[jennifer_bloom]

Some things are desired but they are not meant to be enjoyed. Examples include excessive alcohol or any drug use at all. They might give you a happy or elevated feeling but they are forbidden pleasures, that the bible guards against. I believe if you are interested in living a life that reflects the morals taught by all religions, you won't need a woman to make you happy, and a woman will not need a man to make her happy. Happiness might be boosted a chunky percentage in a romantic relationship, but it won't become the highlight of your life or your only reason for living, you will have other things that energize and elevate you outside the relationship.

[ManOnFire]

You have to learn how to be happy even when you're by yourself. If you can't do this then you'll never be happy even when you're in a relationship. This is one of the key things to learn in life, making your own happiness in times when you have no one there.

[nastyb]

humans are designed to be tribal animals. living in seclusion and isolation is not the answer to a healthy happy life. there is evidence lonely people die earlier.

[ManOnFire]

@nastyb Some of that is true, but what choice do you have if there IS no one? You still have to learn to be happy on your own. Cuz if you don't and you get into a relationship you'll still feel sad and empty.

[nastyb]

@ManOnFire

so you rather never try to socialize and make friends but rather to isolate yourself from the world and die earlier and live a more painful life?

there's nothing you can do that will override the human need to socialize

[ManOnFire]

@nastyb Socializing is fine. I do it. But even too much of that is a bad thing.

[nastyb]

@ManOnFire

its better to socialize too much than to socialize too little.

[ManOnFire]

@nastyb Nah, too much socializing drains you and robs you of your own time and your own personal development. Too much socializing makes you into your friends because you're not having any time to be your own person with your own life.

[nastyb]

@ManOnFire

there's actually no research that proves that over socializing shortens your life. but there is plenty of proof that not socializing enough will kill you sooner.

[ManOnFire]

@nastyb I didn't say oversocializing shortens your life. I said it drains you and stunts your own personal development.

[nastyb]

@ManOnFire

well too much of anything isn't good

[thegreenyogi]

This question really does depend on the kind of person in question. There are those that choose to be alone by choice because they have learnt to become fulfilled happy people because of their own internal universe which is so vast and aren't afraid of their own company and then there are those who are alone not by choice but by circumstance. So my question to you is why are you alone? By choice or by circumstance?

[Amara_09]

I convinced myself that I can be satisfied alone. All these temptations in the world do really try to twists everything. Just because I am alone , it does not mean that I am lonely or depressed as fuck.


Maybe I settled to be alone my life and made that decision based on my own personal reality. No one can say otherwise to me because it’s my life and my choices. This is what makes me happy

[serious]

Yes it is completely possible to be happy alone. One has to learn to be happy, content and satisfied within themselves first before they can expect company from other people or sources.

If someone is not happy within themselves then nobody from outside can come and give them happiness.

[Sonorous]

I think it's possible to be reasonably happy in solitude. Maybe it's easier for some types though. I say reasonably because yk we're still human so we'll feel down at times.

I've been in complete solitude for 6 months before. Never leaving my house or seeing another human for all that time. And what helped me was having people online to talk to. Others in my position would have probably felt extremely depressed but I was fine. I prefer to be alone mostly.

[nastyb]

humans are not designed to live in seclusion and isolation. Research shows humans are tribal animals. We are designed to live in communities. you will ever be truly happy being entirely alone with no friends. don't listen to the rest of these clueless idiots telling you how loneliness is a joke or that it can just disappear. Loneliness happens when you are not designed to live in isolation

[sage2021]

@nastyb
Most of us know that. It's hard as you get older and relatives die off, or you're an only child, or if you moved a lot, switched jobs a lot.

[nastyb]

@sage2021

then go find places to socialize.

many senior citizens complain of being lonely, but they never leave their house to socialize. there are plenty of senior centers and retiree organizations , adult day cares.

[sage2021]

@nastyb
Thank you for the info.
Please get back with me when you are 70 years old and your body just won't let you go to those places.
I wish you wouldn't refer to us as complainers, because we don't just sit around and complain to everyone.
Sometimes we need the people to come over and visit us because our health conditions restrict us.

[nastyb]

@sage2021

your body will only hurt more if you never socialize. its been proven that loneliness makes people more prone to getting sick, more aches and pains

your body hurts? get a home health aide! never heard of that?

[nastyb]

@sage2021

most 70 yr olds are mobile and able to walk. most likely even also drive. you can walk with the pain. im 28 and i also have a pain, i still go to work daily. quit making excuses.

[sage2021]

nastyb
Now I remember why I blocked you before. It all comes back to me.

[nastyb]

@sage2021

you're just looking for excuses.

i slept 2-3 hours a night while i was in nursing school, went to school with all sorts of aches and pains due to stress and lack of sleep. It took me 3 hours to get to school. Monday to Friday.

age has nothing to do with it. just your lack of determination.

[nastyb]

@sage2021

If you can go out to buy groceries, you can manage to drive to a senior center to socialize. There are also elderly homes, assisted living facilities.

[Fireguy17]

It's easy.

I've been single by choice for extended periods of time.

I have a good friend base, enough things going on to stay busy.

In ways it better than being in a relationship.

I had the freedom to come and go as I pleased, travel, buy anything when ever I wanted to, never got into a fight about being at a buddies house, gone all day for a motorcycle ride.

I had fun when I was single.

[Joshydavid25]

No, it's not good for people to be alone.. Some people are okay with moments of being alone, but overall for an extended time it starts to mess with you.. You can be content and enjoy activities on your own for a time, but learning how to make companions is best in the end..

[Paul09]

Yes h

I'm happy. But do get lonely. I'm I the middle I am an ambivert. I want to be a extrovert, I try, but I also feel comfortable being introverted. Just not too much. It does get in your head if you think about it too much. I try to occupy myself with hobbies , classes , art, games, physical actives etc

[Cutegirl06]

You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Others can't make you happy you have to do that on your own. If you're not happy being alone how can you be happy with someone else?

[JacobJordan]

You can't be happy with someone if you can't be happy by yourself. Happiness comes from within and is enhanced by external factors. Once you achieve internal happiness you will find things that enhance that externally.

[Kaamraj]

You can be alone even if you have several friends, you can't expect anyone to make you happy because as humans we dont want baggage. We are attracted to people who are happy to begin with. You have to make peace with yourself.

[Miristheiss]

By following their passions and being active and involved. By having a good core group of friends and things to do all the time, places to go, experiences to be had.

[Ironic_Method]

Some people do just fine alone. Fortunately for you, having all those other things makes it easier to go and meet people for friends and relationships.

[Sour-rose]

You be fine with yourself... simple as that.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am all alone and I am quite happy. I create my happiness, not someone else.

[Monalisa77]

Exactly, people keep putting me off trying to find things that will make me happy 😂

[strateguy632]

they are wrong. ignore them and find friends