Restricting family out of personal life?

[Anonymous]

My family isn't allowed to call , text , or visit once me, my kids, and my partner move. My family is upset that they're not going to be included and me moving. I refuse to deal with their toxic , dysfunctional, and abusive behavior nor do I want this in my relationship. My family doesn't understand why their excluded nor are they willing to change their behavior. I told my partner I don't want my family included in what's going on, as I don't want our relationship jeopardized nor full of toxicity. Something happened today with my family and drama they created dragging me into it for no reason. My partner doesn't want visitors coming once we move. Sadly , my family exclusively my mom and grandmother is about to lose communication with me and my kids ( their grandchildren). Any insight?

[ManOnFire]

I get where you're coming from, and it's okay if you don't want them involved. It's your life, and you're an independent adult with a family of your own so you can make whatever decisions you want. Cutting your family off can seem sad or make you feel guilty, but at the same time, if they're dysfunctional and full of a lot of drama and toxicity like you said, you're just going to feel worse staying involved.

Do what you have to do to protect your own peace and the family you have already with your kids and partner.

[Asker]

Thanks it is hard, but has to be done today my family created drama dragging me into it.. I immediately removed myself out of it. Told my partner it was irrelevant what happened and if I ever left my home I would inform her. I thought I was going to leave my house due to unprecedented circumstances

[Asker]

My family creates drama because they're toxic they'll never meet my mate or ever be included in planning my partner and I do.

[ManOnFire]

And it's not the kind of thing you need in your life, with it's day to day challenges already. Cut them off, yeah. If they want to change or really want you part of their life, they have to do the work for it.

[Asker]

There's zero chance of reconciliation once me and y kids leave. My partner is already dealing with a lot of stress - I hope she's not upset due to setting this boundary between her and my family.

[ManOnFire]

I'm sure things will smooth out and rebalance once you all are out of there. It's just very toxic and stressful at the moment.

[Asker]

No this abusive and toxic behavior has been going on since I was a child and I'm 34 years old. My partner doesn't want anything to do with my family and neither do I. She's aware of them from the past , but I've refrained from letting my family drag me into drama they create. The best thing my family can do is spend time with my kids, but there not welcomed to our home , text, or call. My partner just asked me would I allow my family to call , visit , or text - short answer is no.

[Asker]

They're cut off for good after the new year and after we move. We don't want their drama in our home and for emergencies my aunt and uncle will be allowed to call me only.

[Asker]

They are the designated family members for emergencies only

[Asker]

Until these people get help there's nothing i can do - I don't want their drama in my home with her children and mines.

[Asker]

My ex husband is not welcomed either he's just as toxic too - he will have to pick up the kids away from our private property

[Asker]

My family has caused me emotional , mental , and psychologically abuse and why do I care about including them in my new life with me, kids, and partner - I don't think so

[ManOnFire]

I meant I'm sure things will rebalance with you and your kids and lover once you all are out of there. Your current situation is polluting your peace.

[Asker]

Yes even my mate is concerned

[Asker]

My mate doesn't live here

[Shamalien]

Sometimes it is for the best…unfortunately. A toxic family can most definitely destroy a relationship. I envy your partner. They are very lucky to have you willing to do something that painful for the relationship. A person who values a relationship as much as you do is really special

[Asker]

I don't like drama and neither does she - my health can't deal with it and she's going through enough already

[Sailormoon95]

Nope. I think it's toxic. I'm a high profiling person at work and I still include my family in whatever I do.

[Asker]

Good for you I domt wnat my family included in my life and neither does my partner

[Asker]

Don't I don't deal with toxic people my family needs therapy 💯 and there not my problem. I have my family to take care of , career , and school

[Asker]

I don't deal with toxic people maybe they'll get help once we're gone still not changing they'll be cut off for good

[Sailormoon95]

Honestly, the best bet is to suggest talk therapy for them. There's plenty of options of different types of counseling out there. People don't realize this but yes, talk therapy is crucial for good strong relationships.

[Asker]

No I'm not- not my problem they should get therapy for themselves/ me , my children, and partner are moving on

[Asker]

No chance of rekindling or reconciliation- they're abusive and toxic

[Sailormoon95]

There's always a way to bring them into their doctors office to get psych evaluated

[Asker]

My family isn't my responsibility or problem they caused me enough stress and drama which I don't need- they can go to the doctors themselves

[Asker]

My focus is me and my children

[Asker]

I don't deal with toxic or abusive people

[Asker]

Idc about these people

[Sailormoon95]

Oooh. Well then, just disown them. Don't even mention about them and put them in the back of the list.

[Asker]

They are the point of this post