How do you politely ask someone to return something that you lent them?

Question

My aunt is visiting and recently, I loaned her my makeup - blush, gloss, foundation, concealer, eyeshadow, the whole thing. I’m not sure how to ask her to return it without sounding like a terrible person. Ever since I was young, she used to borrow my stuff all the time and never returned any of it. I sound horrible, I know, but the makeup is expensive and I’d really like to have it back. Help!

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

oh this rubs me wrong way. She's walking all over you, doing what she always did... taking your stuff. She's really rude and yet you feel like you are being the bad person asserting yourself.

So you are going to need to be aware of your self worth, esteem, and practice over time to fix this.

Ask her tell her when she borroed it and you need it back. End of story!

Likely you don't get it back, then you don't loan anything else out.

You may be a sensitive, empathetic person. You are going to need to build up your strength since doesn't sound like your parents helped you in that regards.

I lived this issue and I see how to build a girls self esteem as we raise a daughter.

p. s. practice saying "no" and feeling ok with it:)

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

Such a great question! I think exactly what you wrote! "Auntie, may I please have my makeup back?" AND... bonus points for asking at a meal as if the thought just came to you when Auntie's siblings are there with you. You can also politely add a few extra sentences, "It's been three weeks and I really need it for tonight."

If that doesn't work, you need to enlist whichever parent of yours is Auntie's sibling.

And then, if that doesn't work: give up. BUT (you know what I'm about to say) never loan her something again. NEVER. All you have to say is no. And when she asks why, give her the laundry list of everything she's never returned.

Revvl6pro · Accepted Answer

I was in a mechanic shop, and I noticed a sign on a man's tool box. It was one of those tall tool boxes on wheels. I'm guessing the entire box with tools was worth thousands.

Anyway, he had a big sign that said.

"There are two things that we hold dear in our life. The tools of our trade, and our dear little wife. Please don't ask to borrow my tools, and I won't ask to borrow your wife."

Yes, you're going to have to modify the message, but you get my point. lol

OK, so that doesn't answer your question, but stop lending her stuff. I would call her and say: "Hey, I'm short on cash, and I need some makeup. Could you spot me a couple hundred bucks?

TrueConfection · Accepted Answer

It sounds like you're in a tough spot. I would find an excuse to put makeup on and go somewhere. Otherwise, you will just have to be up front about asking for her to return your stuff.

You could let her know you want to put it away. You could also ask her to please put it (location) when she's finished borrowing it (be sure to use the word "borrowing" as a reminder to her that your expensive makeup doesn't just replenish itself).

NathanDavis · Answer

we are nearing the weekend... so, if you want to feel less awkward about it, then just mention that you MIGHT, possibly but not surely go to some event, or place... so you will need that specific makeup, for what you intend to wear

and then say you were looking for it and forgot that she borrowed it, lol... and that should be enough for her to return it

Soulfist · Answer

That is your belongings. And you are an adult. You lent it to them out of kindness, and now they are acting like they are entitled to your stuff. Why should they be allowed to your money and your property?

You're young, so you might not have enough life experience. But it is not okay to let someone take the roof off your head and the food out of your mouth. Nobody will care about you more than you, and that's the reality.

Until we live in a time where technology is so advanced, and we no longer need to work and don't have to worry about bills, we need to take care of ourselves. Worry about someone else later.

I understand you just want to be nice, but it is not okay for her to take from you.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Just ask her, as it is your stuff. In the future, if you are going to loan someone something, ask them how long, get a commitment of a day, a week or a month. Then after the time frame expires, no one should consider it rude to ask for it back.

No one should consider it rude to ask for your own stuff back, if you think they've had it long enough to accomplish what they borrowed it for.

jshm2 · Answer

You don't. That ship is sailed, as she now feels entitled to your stuff; as you've been giving her it for that long.

Instead, you STOP giving her anything from here on out. ANYTHING she asks for should be an automatic no. When she bitches you ask for a return of the stuff she's borrowed already. She will not return any of it. Bu if she does, you also demand replacement or compensation for what she has used.

exitseven · Answer

I just up front ask for my stuff back., I loan my kids stuff all the time and never get the stuff back unless I ask for it.

Anonymous · Answer

Option 1 the kind way: you have my makeup - blush, gloss, foundation, concealer, eyeshadow, the whole thing. Can you bring me those back please?

Option 2 the other way: you have my makeup - blush, gloss, foundation, concealer, eyeshadow, the whole thing. Can you bring me those back before i kick your ass?

Blackcupcake · Answer

just mention that you need them for an upcoming event whatever that may be, that way she’ll understand you actually need it and aren’t just asking for it back for the sake of only getting it back.

DaveJord · Answer

Ahhhhhh... you just say "Auntie, where is that makeup shit, I lent you, I need it back." It's not hard, it's yours and you need it. Don't be such a push over, she knows it's yours.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Just ask her point blank.
I'm not sure if you remember when I loaned you... but I was hoping that you will be returning them shortly as I could really use them.
I just don't have the extra money to replace them.
Thanks.

Tracker1958 · Answer

Never let/ wanted my wife to wear makeup. I think makeup is a wast of money and time. She never has to take the time to put it on or take it off. Save her a lot of hassle not to mention the money.

Paris13 · Answer

Either do NOT lend it Out or just ask her Politely that for your own Future Use-------NO EXCUSE. Hand it Over, Auntie. xxoo

Summeroflove · Answer

Well you loaned it to her and she didn’t give it back. She’s the one in the wrong especially if she took stuff without asking

Faith18letsgo · Answer

Hey, if you still have it, could you bring back my make up stuff? Looking forward to your visit!

dustybiker · Answer

“I don’t want to sound like a terrible person, but, any chance I can have back what you borrowed?”

Msputiton · Answer

Just ask her if she still has it because you need to use it

AviatorTom · Answer

You don't! You bluntly ask them to return it.

Anonymous · Answer

you could always just be like, "hey mom? can you get my makeup back that you loaned to aunt so and so without asking me?" :D

loveslongnails · Answer

Dude... I need my stuff back, like yesterday. Have you got it here? No? Then I need it tomorrow, or keep it and buy me a new set tomorrow.

Rangers · Answer

Politely say "GIVE ME MY STUFF BACK RIGHT FUCKING NOW"!

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Hey auntie. When can I come over to collect my makeup :)

Anonymous · Answer

Ask her how she's getting on with it. And then that you could do with it back. Can we arrange that please.

Keishio · Answer

Just ask. It's yours and act like you deserve some kind of respect

Anonymous · Answer

"hey... When do you plan on giving the makeup stuff back?"

Nephinaeq · Answer

Why would you want to speak kindly to a cunt?

Massageman · Answer

Ask them how it worked for them.

MenGuru · Answer

Gimme my sh** before I open up a can of whoop a**

LiamJHayden · Answer

Just tell her you need to use it.

In_Trance · Answer

"hey, give me back my shit"

msc545 · Answer

ask her for all of it.

How do you politely ask someone to return something that you lent them?

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