Should funerals be changed to celebrations of life?

[Twalli]

Don't focus on the fact that the person is dead. Focus on the life they had. I often say that the more you miss a person, the more good memories you have with them. In other words, you are sad because you can't make any more. What you should focus on is the good moments you've already had, not the ones you never did, the anniversary of their death should be a happier occasion.

[Qdbrown]

Some people like to jump to a more positive note, but two things.

Funerals are for family and friends.

The death or loss of someone starts the grief cycle. For some, they have to spend a lot of time on each part of the cycle, sometimes even back pedaling stages to really get over someone. It came takes years and decades.

The funeral helps the friends and family say goodbye in their own minds to help speed that recovery of grief. Just making it postive is not enough. But the first ceremony should have some sorrow to it, as to allow the ones dealing with tougher grief to vocalize and display their grief. By getting a quicker release, they can recover sooner.

Then once everyone is heading the right direction, the celebration of life should occur, but a healthy group of friends and family will help those deeply crushed first. No amount of positive energy is going to help in early days of the grief cycle.

[Unit1]

Unitology? Are you suggesting a practice from Unitology?

Death Ritual

This is the most important part of Unitology practice. Death is the most important step for Unitologists, and Unitologists are encouraged to celebrate the death of loved ones and hope to join them, rather than mourn them.

[Twalli]

Besdies hoping to join them, yes.

[Unit1]

Uh oh. That sounds like trouble. But go on. Be made whole.

[jennifer_bloom]

I'm not sure but I think there is a minority of people who need to vocalize and show their pain in order to get past it. Most prefer to focus on the positives but some need to talk about the bad feelings to stop feeling bad. Its like if you lift a load and then your arm is tired, you want to release the load so you can have a break, and some people want to release their pain by letting people know who bad they feel.

[SaoirseS]

Memorial services, celebrations of life, or simply remembrances are already an option for families. They are a funery rite conducted without remains or cremains present, and usually take place a few weeks after burial or cremation. They tend to be more uplifting and less somber, focusing on the positive. That’s the route many families choose these days. I think you have the right attitude.

[Zbrody1997]

Honestly it’s religion based or what ever you choose to do because you can say fuck the tears they were a great person. As a norse pagan I want a feast to be held to celebrate my life and to be cremated on a funeral pyre or on a small ship pushed out to the waters and set ablaze.

[electromagnetic]

This is a great mindset to have but funerals offer an outlet for others to mourn losses.

i mean if you specially want someone to cherish and celebrate you life when you did, probably best to let them know now.

[Calculated_Guess]

I've been to so many funerals and I hate them.

I always feel that if you care about somebody you should spend time with them while they're alive. Have a party for me now, not after I'm fucking gone, lol.

[Twalli]

That's kind if my point. When they die we should respect the life they had. My grandmother died last year, yet she had a good life. It's a lot better to focus on the life she had.

[Calculated_Guess]

I suppose I just think funerals are for drama queens mostly who want to cry in public, and the rest come for the show. When I was at my brother's funeral all I could think about is how much he hated funerals too.
I don't even understand the concept of re-reminding people who are in pain over and over again that their loved one died. Lets all cry together over and over again until we're sick about it.
I'm the kind of guy who needs to put shit like that out of my head and move on as quickly as possible before it sends me into a depression. I see funerals as unhealthy in general.

[Twalli]

That's why we should focus on the life they had as opposed to it being over.

[Calculated_Guess]

Have a birthday party for them while they're alive and celebrate with them, that's my theory.
Parties after death seem like a waste of money and I bet some people will still cry.

[Twalli]

My grandmother was old and sick when she died. It wasn't a surprise. We already accepted that it would happen. We were already saying she had a good life a few months before it ended. At least a few of her daughters were with her and her son and other daughter were there for a few days shortly before she passed.

[Calculated_Guess]

I hear you.
I lost all 4 of my grandparents, my father, my brother, his wife, a close family friend.
I'm just sick of funerals and at this point it's easier for me to just go numb after people die.

[Calculated_Guess]

Funerals are traumatizing for me.

[SnowedIn]

I agree with your view on this. I think many of them are called "celebrations of life" and treated as such.

[Rosexøxø]

Save all of that for life… I’m not going to any funeral. Not even my own if we get technical here 😎💁‍♀️
lmao

[Rosexøxø]

Love your striving towards positivity and practicality, though. 💪 I say this is a great alternative for Funeral Goers. 👐

[Msputiton]

We don't even call them funerals. We call them a home going. And we celebrate their lives.

[suzzieQ]

There is a difference between a funeral and a celebration of life. They are two different things.

[Fuentes]

Nah i will never see death as a party even if it has good intentions

[katiesmuff]

That is what I find most of them called now!