Was my friend trying to help or being rude. Be honest?

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

My “friend”

said I’m not good enough for anyone and for people because I don’t have a job and that’s why they all leave me and that they don’t take me seriously and this is why they do things like use me; leave me in a nightclub alone laughing at my on my birthday, and that I’m a loser and if I don’t get a job she will stop being my friend because it’s “no loss” to her to end our friendship and how my parents must be so ashamed of me because I don’t work or study 😕then asking how much money I have assuming I would “jump” at 1k and she wouldn’t flinch and just agreeing I’m a loser and nobody would take me seriously. And she’s saying this whilst we sit in here studio apartment where she has a mattress on the floor and is eating microwaved burger king from hours ago. I mean at least I take care of my body and go gym etc but

I’m so hurt tbh it’s weird when someone tells you everything you have over thought about yourself for the pass 3 years

[TonyV]

Sounds like tough love and constructive criticism to me.
You say that you work out and look good, that's great and all but those looks do fade, everyone's looks fade, no one is emune to father time. So she is asking you what else do you have to offer, she's also pointing out that you get back from the world what you put into it, how are you going to get a guy with carrer goals to stick around if you don't have any goals?
I think she is just trying to tell you to re adjust your priorities, being hot and going to night clubs shouldn't be the first 2 priorities, some kind of career, that either is a skilled trade or took years of experience or knowledge and education to get is the goal.
You don't want to end up being 30 years old and the only things you can put on a resume are I can flip burger patties, I have 5 years experience being a cashier, oh and check out my round toned ass.

It sounds like your friend has tried to help you but you aren't listening, and she is getting tired and running out of new ways to tell you what you need to hear.

So yes I think she's trying to help you, you are just taking it as rude cause it wasn't what you wanted to hear.
One last thing, if you want different results you have to try something new, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

I have worked in childcare, retail, sales and marketing and hospitality I have also volunteered and studied animal biology yes the past few years it’s been nothing but for her to say I’m a “loser” is extremely harsh. I think assuming people use me or treat me wrongly is because they know I’m lying about having a job and studying is bullshit. People will use and belittle people regardless of that. I have re-enrolled at college to do criminology and I am looking for a job so her judgments where extremely harsh, given I do have experience and I do have ambition and goals. Ps this was the first time I ever went to her about this or opened up. I lied to her and everyone for a year and told them I worked etc when I didn’t

[Guy13]

Stop degrading yourself over some inconsequential mean person please.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

You’re right but it doesn’t take away the hurt of her words and opinions of me just because I don’t work

[Anonymous]

Wow... Someone had the guts to say the truth on your face.
She's in her apartment, doesn't matter how it is at least she's managing on her own. She's not weak, and doing whatever is possible for her. Any day better than you.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

I’m definitely not weak, how do you know she’s better than me you have never met her you do not know her. It’s not true and the fact you’re anon speaks volumes about the credibility of your statement toward me

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly! Read your answer again, you'll know. Step out of your parents house and deal with life then you'll know. Good for nothing.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

Amazing for a lot of things but okay

[Opinion Owner]

Good for you

[Bklynbadboy12]

Why are you letting her get to you? You know who you are and you know your worth right?

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

Yeah but it hurt to come from someone I considered a friend to me

[Bklynbadboy12]

I get that but you have to understand as well if she's gonna treat you like that then she's not a real friend

[Alex8736]

usually the biggest finger pointer's have the dirtiest hands

[Anonymous]

she doesn't sound like much of a friend and doesn't sound any better than you

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

You say that as if I’m doing so bad

[Opinion Owner]

you're not doing anything bad. what i meant was she acts like she's better than you and she's not

[Opinion Owner]

that's what i meant by she's no better than you. she thinks to highly of herself which she shouldn't. she puts herself up on a pedestal which she shouldn't

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

I was raised to believe I’m better than nobody and nobody is better then me and I think that way and she obviously needs to be more humble because many wouldn’t appreciate being spoken to that way