It is wrong to wish for a son instead of a daughter?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Especially when you already have a daughter?

Although I'm reluctant to admit it, the fact that the twins my wife is pregnant with most probably will be both girls has been bogging me for some days now. It's not that I'm not happy about them or that I don't love my first daughter; but one of the first things I had thought when we found out she was having twins is that at least one could be a boy.

And instead we are jumping from one daughter to three daughters, and make another house of women. I don't mean that in a negative way, but I've almost exclusively lived in an house made of women, with my sisters, mother and aunt; and I had hoped to make a more balanced family of my own - not necessarily all boys, but two daughters and a son could have been ideal.

But that likely will never happen. I don't blame anyone of course, this is just nature and dumb luck, but this thing is making me feel both uneasy and also guilty; because I think it's wrong for me to feel unhappy about this.

What kind of man feels unhappy about that kind of thing?

Updates

+1 y

Naturally I have expressed those feelings to my wife and my mother, and I found a lot of understanding from both of them. And that said, twins are still a miracle nonetheless.

My mother told me that ironically she was disappointed when she found out I was going to be a boy, because she only wanted daughters. She even considered terminating the pregnancy but eventually decided to keep me and said that in her opinion she made the correct choice.

[NathanDavis]

my mother always wanted a daughter... and she really wished that it had been me (or her second child, that is)

but then I grew up, lmao... and then she felt quite fortunate that I wasn't a teen girl and later a woman/daughter arguing with her all the time... her words, not mine... lol

[rabbitzzz]

On the flip side, you should be so thankful to God. May God bless your family.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I am thankful, but I don't believe God does positive things for us - he only punishes.

[rabbitzzz]

Then what is the source of anything positive?

[melanieeeB]

I don't think so, it's okay and a lot of people say what they would like more but in the end for most it's more important that the child is healthy.

It's just crossing the line when you do get a daughter instead and treat that child lesser just cause you wanted a boy

[AmandaYVR]

Every parent has a wish. Don't beat yourself up about it. Perfectly natural to feel as you do. You're right, you will be overrun and outnumbered soon.

Are you sure, both sexes have been confirmed already?

Life sure is coming at you fast.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

We'll have the definitive results after the next ultrasound, but the doctor already said to not count too much on a boy, because they are monozygotic and seeemingly developing into females.

[Apple1996]

I feel you on this. I had gender disappointment badly with my second. With my third and fourth not so much since I just expected to have more boys. It's totally normal to feel this way especially since most people want to experience raising both girls and boys

[sage2021]

I think your feelings about this are valid. You shouldn't feel bad at all.
I wanted a little girl since I was a little girl. Then I wanted a boy and a girl. I got one son, my husband abandoned us, and I never got my baby girl 😔

[CateM]

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a son, but if your baby's a girl as long as you don't treat her worse than if she were a boy and you love her, you're in the clear

[OlderAndWiser]

What you are feeling is very understandable and, I think, extremely common.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

It’s not wrong to wish but like The Rolling Stones say You Can’t Always Get What You Want.

[KrakenAttackin]

Not at all, but either is a blessing.

[FunkyMonkee]

It IS? News to me!!