Did you have a good dad and what made him so if he was?

[Kay-C]

[SnowedIn]

This is a beautiful and complex question. My answer is also complex.

I guess, first, I'm probably not one to judge. Not probably... I'm NOT one to judge. Especially something like good/bad.

He was good and he was flawed.

Dad passed ten years ago. I loved him and he frustrated the heck out of me.

Dad was brilliant and thoughtful and WICKED smart. He was charming and charismatic and gracious and empathetic. He thought critically and wrote well and cared. He worked immensely hard. He taught me all of that and more.

He was also a perfectionist in the worst sense of the word. He thought that his family should be run like the Navy (literally). He didn't change with the times so his upbringing in the 1940s and early 50s did not apply so well in the late 1970s and 80s. He wasn't open to his children being individuals let alone their individuality being determined by them. He was openly and significantly disappointed in failure and indifferent at best to success and then only success defined on his terms. He worked immensely hard and spent all that time and energy on work.

And yet, I can mow a lawn and take care of a car and paint a house and write and organize and run an office and think critically because of him. It's complex.

Most interestingly, he had integrity and he had morals and he had standards -- yet he cheated on mom. That part's complex too. Setting aside the morality minefield, the affair, separation, and divorce were a bomb in our family and caused ugliness for the following 28 years.

So, dad was good and flawed.

[exitseven]

Wow, if I didn't know better I could have sworn it was me that wrote this.

[exitseven]

He was a good dad. i don;t think he had a clue how to do it but he was a good providerr and a hard worker, He taught me how to be a gentleman and to be honest but not let people take advantage of me. He had his faults and I did things different with my own kids but he did his best.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[mandyfire98]

I have a wonderful dad. He was very loving and patient and made sure to teach me little things growing up that I needed to know that maybe I wouldn't get at school. To him family was the most important. It was everything to him. Family dinners were super important and everyone had to be at that table. He's Italian so that's how he was brought up. He was strict at times and super protective of his baby girl but he always was very loving and supportive of me.

[Guardian45]

That's so nice to hear. He did a great job!

[mandyfire98]

He's a great daddy

[Guardian45]

I get goosebumps when you say that!🤪

[SnowedIn]

@mandyfire98 ... this is just heartwarming.

[Gent207-2]

He taught me wilderness survival, hiking, fishing and camping. He worked hard to provide for his family at a super high cost.

[Guardian45]

May I ask what super high cost?

[genericname85]

He was and still is a good dad. He could have been a little better on teaching me how to be masculine and how to attract girls XD but i don't fault him too much for it. I think him not having grand children from me is punishment enough XD

[Wish4UrB00ty]

My dad is pretty great! We are both super argumentative and a bit gruff so we have had some odd fights over the years. But we have also had a lot of fun together!

[Alex8736]

He was military. worked 2 jobs while my mother was a stay at home mom doing everything in their power to to see me succeed which i have and am very thankful and appreciative for it 😁

[Guardian45]

Did I have a good dad?

Yes and no.

I know he tried his best, and that I was difficult to raise, because we were ALWAYS at odds.

He was far from perfect, but I still miss him.

[OlderAndWiser]

No, I did not.

[Agape93]

Nope. He was rotten.

[Wish4UrB00ty]

That’s sad!