Would you agree a child needs to learn self-defense and social skills early on?

[Anonymous]

Whenever my father tells the story about confronting a classmate that was bothering me and backing him against the wall (we were both 12 year-olds), that's an error right there. No offense but he's lucky the boy's parents didn't come after him. He started bothering me again but the 2nd time, I confronted him myself (I was fed up by then)... ending the issue.

How about place your kid in self-defense classes from an early age and get them involved in social activities? That way if they have an issue with a classmate, well then they can already handle it themselves. No need for mom or dad to do the job for you. Getting them involved in social actitivites enhances their development and skills early on. I think self-defense classes and social activities should be a must in a child's life. Do you agree to this?

Updates

+1 y

I'll definitely raise my future child differently. Unless it's something serious, I shouldn't be solving their little squabbles they have with a classmate.

[abc3643]

Absolutely.

I am not sure about self-defense because that's also self-offense; there's no separating the two.

So, teaching the child:
1. personal discipline (*)
2. emotional control
3. a good sense of ethics regarding:
A) harming others
B) (Christian ethic of) turning the other cheek and helping others
C) politeness
D) trying to see how others see things (this is DIFFICULT to teach any kid in the single digits)
E) "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." - Salvor Hardin (Isaac Asimov)

should be a priority to teaching self-defense.

(*) Just remember:
"True diss-a-prin comes from within."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdbORXEmbnk

[Asker]

Self-defense classes does have all those components. It teaches you to avoid conflicts, walk away and only resort to violence as the last option to defend yourself. When defending yourself, obviously you can't continue beating up the person for the sake of retaliation; that's not self-defense by then. It's a school of discipline and allows you to regulate your emotions.

[abc3643]

Good!

It is always good to have "diss-a-prin"!

[TheorionMage]

As a Pgh inner-city kid, there was a community center called the Bershear Settlement and they offered introductory boxing for 1st through 3rd graders. I enjoyed the speed bag but didn't like the senseless punching another kid! I did NOT like being bullied... nor seeing smaller kids getting bullied, and so... I'd come to their defense, especially little girls! I was a 'romantic' from an early age~ In later life, I took up Asian martial arts and have served as both a soldier and a law enforcement officer.

[Asker]

Yes Asian martial arts is great. I took Judo later on in Oct 2021 and was there for a whole year. I plan on resuming martial arts and then continue taking it along with my future kid. Boxing doesn't seem right for a little girl. She would can't just go punching, esp if it's someone stronger that punches. Instead for her, good martial arts would be Judo, Krav Maga, MMA or BBJ.

[TheorionMage]

I'd suggest Akkido, for females... physiological mechanical advantage stresses intuitive pain compliance. Used to teach women's self defense at PSU back in the 70's. YOU evoke neurological pain and the Opponent's subconscious pain response works against them and FOR you. Often just TWO fingers to elicit massive pain response and your Opponent's OWN intuitive flight response becomes YOUR tool! ;)

[Aerissa_Jade]

It is a great idea, it really is but self defense classes can be used by bullies to get others. I've seen people who have taken karate or other classes be the worst bullies.

While self defense is a great idea, not just for school but for out in public for a child. Bullying needs to stop in school and other places for kids.

[Asker]

Krav Maga, Judo, MMA or BJJ. They're all effective and good for real self-defense.

[Asker]

I took Judo classes in Oct 2021 for a whole year and it's good. I missed it and hopefully can resume it in the near future. I plan on continue taking classes with my child in the future.

[Asker]

A someone is using using martial arts to bully others they need to be expelled from that academy ASAP and have the instructor record that, spread that note to other respectable academies so that bully isn't accepted.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I saw a guy do it in public high school to bully other kids. He'd bully them and if anyone fought back, he'd use his skills to break their arms then claim they started the fight.

[Asker]

That's horrible. I think someone like that needs to have his instructor as a sparring opponent, then after he loses he gets kicked out, followed by assault charges and detention center.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I don't know what he was, but I think by that time he was no longer in the academy (probably kicked out.)

[TheorionMage]

Bullying is a retrograde inclination of human's hierarchical predisposition animism.
"I can't impress you with my cunning or intelligence so I'll gain your regard by fear of injury and pain prestige." Think of that 50's ballad: "That's Why I fell for the Leader of the Pack"

BUT... EVERYONE can bleed and EVERYONE sleeps SOMETIME.
In Jr. high school, tired of BEING bulled, one night I lay in wait, for our school's uninhibited bully and parted his hair with a cast iron pipe. He transferred out of our school in a wheelchair to reconsider his life's choices--- I don't START fights, but it is sometimes necessary to FINISH them.

[Pinay_ako]

Yes those are life skills

[Asker]

Exactly. I find those two a must to learn. The parent doing the job for the kid isn't helping them at all since the kid isn't the one standing up for themselves, solving their own battles themselves.

[Asker]

My style would be very different than my parent:
- My future kid would already have social skills and know self-defense. There shouldn't be a moment where mommy has to come to the school and confront the kid for him/her. Nope. I would be telling them ''Nope, mommy isn't going to confront Johnny for you. You apply what you've learned and handle it yourself''.

[Anonymous]

yep.