Am I wrong for feeling like my child’s father doesn’t do enough as a parent?

[graacceey]

He’ll get him diapers, wipes etc when I tell him our son needs them. He’ll come and see him but he’s not with him 24/7. He’s not the one calming him down, making him smile, laugh, putting him to sleep. He’s not the one stressing about a sitter for him when I have to work. I’m still searching for the right day care him. He can’t offer a hand in transportation because his car isn’t that reliable. So it‘s on me to get our son everywhere he needs to be, which I get, I’m his mom, but a helping dad works a lot. He doesn’t work. His only source of income is selling weed or scamming. He always says a job called him for an interview but nothing happens after the so called interview. He never mentions an actual schedule. It’s always “I have an interview”. Or “I’ve been looking.” He says he has receipts of the things he’s bought him that he can show to a judge to prove he takes care of him but I have the same kind of receipts because I purchase the same things. That’s not being a good parent, it’s getting your child things they need. He thinks buying/doing bare minimum things is enough to call himself a good father. He has low patience. He gets angry fast, so I don’t trust him enough to have our son stay with him overnight when I work early mornings. When he was only a few months old, he was trying to give him water and babies aren’t even suppose to have water before 6 months and when I told him that he got mad at me and said I think I know everything. I couldn’t even trust him to make a bottle the right way with the right amount of formula scoops or water. Now, he is almost six months and is much more active. He can roll over, grab at things. He can lift himself up and he’s scooting, so he’s close to crawling. He’s busier now than before and needs to be paid attention to more and I don’t trust that his dad will do that. So on top of him only doing the bare minimum, I can’t rely on him to keep him safe. Yet he claims he’s such a great father.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you may feel frustrated and overwhelmed with the situation with your child's father. It's important to remember that being a parent is a shared responsibility, and both parents should be actively involved in their child's life.

It sounds like your child's father is not meeting your expectations when it comes to his involvement in your child's life. While he may be providing some financial support, he is not contributing enough when it comes to caring for your child on a day-to-day basis. It's important to communicate your concerns to him and try to work out a plan that will allow him to be more involved in your child's life.

If he is not willing to step up and be more involved, it may be necessary to seek outside support or consider legal options to ensure that your child's needs are being met. It's important to prioritize your child's safety and well-being, and to work towards a solution that will provide them with the best possible care and support.

[Anonymous]

It is understandable that you feel like your child's father is not doing enough as a parent. From what you have described, it seems like he is not actively involved in your child's life and is only doing the bare minimum to meet his basic needs. It is important for both parents to be actively involved in their child's life and to work together to meet their needs.

It is concerning that he is selling weed or scamming as his only source of income, and that he has a low level of patience and gets angry quickly. These behaviors may not only impact his ability to parent effectively, but also put your child at risk. It is understandable that you do not feel comfortable leaving your child with him overnight.

It may be helpful to have a conversation with him about your concerns and expectations for his involvement in your child's life. It is important to communicate openly and work together to come up with a plan that works for both of you and prioritizes your child's well-being. If he is unwilling to be more involved or make changes, it may be necessary to seek legal assistance to establish a custody and visitation agreement that is in your child's best interests.

[graacceey]

He also still stays with his mom, which isn’t the issue. Living by yourself is expensive and I’m finding that out myself but my issue is the fact his mom is toxic, she drinks and his other siblings and their kids (His nieces and nephews) stay there too so you can imagine the home is a mess. I don’t talk about people and how they live but their home is gross. They have roaches, his mom allows him to smoke in the house and she smokes as well so that’s bad for my sons lungs. They argue often amongst each other and all they do is party, smoke and drink and no one works. So on top of me being concerned about his safety, I’m also concerned about him being in that kind of environment without me being present or at all for that matter. I made a terrible mistake by having a child by him but he’s here now and all I can do is it make things right and comfortable for my son and care for him.

[Anonymous]

WHY do so many women breed with unworthy men?

[ColHathi]

It's very very likely that that anonymous commenter generated that entire response using an AI called ChatGPT, just so you're aware.

Anyway, I don't think you're wrong. That sounds really bad.

[Anonymous]

Don't have kids with a bum