Should I feel discouraged as a parent by my child’s father saying this?

[Anonymous]

My son is four months old and although I’m his main caregiver and he’s with me more than his dad, I feed him, change him, read to him, groom him, talk to him, I can make him laugh etc I can’t make him smile like his dad does but I never mentioned it because I didn’t want it to be a big deal because he is just a baby and everything is new to him. Even who he chooses to be his favorite person or who he chooses to smile the hardest at, but my child’s father and I had a little argument and he mentioned how our son smiles harder and more at him than he does with me and it hurt and I also feel it was unnecessary but at the same time maybe it’s for a reason. Maybe I focus so much on being his mom that I forget that he’s still a baby that needs to stimulated. I play with him, tickle him, talk to him etc but maybe it just isn’t as good as his dad.

[Guy13]

There are misinformed posters here. Medical research shows that baby prefers the Mom within 2 to 4 months. It doesn't require a PhD to gather that conclusion between birth, scent, breast feeding, and the family face they see the most and the earliest. Your voice is what is heard in the womb. The one who feeds and responds to the child cues is likely the favorite of child.

What's awesome is that the baby recognizes Daddy innately from facial recognition and other reasons beyond my pay grade. The child has capacity to bond, therefore, child likely has a conscience and is on the road to normal development. The more you two engage the child and the more he grins at each of you the greater the probability of normal development and child. I dated a neonatal intensive care nurse at a major teaching medical center... I know more than i really care to know. ;-)

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Babies almost always have a stronger connection with their dad. It's one of the saddest truths in human existence.
Especially since mothers typically do the most in ensuring their baby's health and safety, and they probably even have the strongest love for their baby. Yet, it's the dad's who get most of the love... couldn't tell you why

[Asker]

So In other words it says nothing about who truly shows the much love and provides the most care, it’s just naturally what babies do?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Yeah pretty much

[Asker]

See I’m a new mom and learning my son, his wants his needs how to entertain him etc is all new to me. I’m getting there though lol

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I bet you're an amazing mother 👍

[WanderingLoveWizard]

And you're still his mama. He has a connection with you that he'll never have with his dad too, it just might not be as fun lol

[WanderingLoveWizard]

He might laugh more with his dad, but who do babies cry to when they're scared? mama, every time.
Anyway, good luck to you

[TheSpaceGnome]

If your kid gets himself in trouble, are you the only one to tell him he was being bad?
If your kid has a favorite activity, is his dad the only one who likes it also?
Is his dad more laid back? Or more logical? Or is more often silly? While you aren't?

[Asker]

Well he hasn’t hit the age of being involved in activities or having to be disciplined about right and wrong. His dad is more silly but I would say I’m more relaxed, calm and patient. I’m the laid back one because there has been several times where I would leave the room for a few seconds and our son will start whining and his dad will get annoyed and even look at our son with a mean mug and say “Can you get him?” In an aggravated and annoyed tone. Now I’m not saying he’s aggressive or that my son isn’t safe around him, because he is, I know he wouldn’t hurt him, but he doesn’t have the calm and patient character trait like I do, but I can admit he is sillier than me. I am silly as well just not enough to make him laugh and smile as hard as his dad does lol.

[Asker]

Also I would say I think I’m more logical when he cries I don’t get upset or have to walk out the room like his does. I look at it like babies cry and if they are crying they only need or want a few things. Attention, they want you to play with them, they need a diaper change, they’re sleepy or gassy or hungry. If you eliminate those things you’ll figure it out, actually as you eliminate, the baby will let you know because he/she will calm down and stop crying.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Then its either because his dad is silly, or because he feels the need to present a happy face to his dad out of fear.