How do you handle someone that gives you so many mixed feelings/signals?

[Anonymous]

Like literally I have never been so confused by a person. I'm the type that can have a crush on a guy and end up being the best of friends.

But this time I just don't know what's going on, he goes from acting like he has 0 interest in me and just wants to be friends to saying how sweet I am, how much he enjoys hanging out with me, feeling safe and trusting me, and then almost kissed me, staring at me when he thinks I'm not noticing. Then all of a sudden acts like he's not interested.

Also I'm not trying to be with him relationship wise anymore, I just don't want our friendship to become awkward.

[Anonymous]

I can totally relate to how you must be feeling. It's an awful feeling not knowing where you stand with someone

I was friends with a guy who'd behave this way. He'd blow hot and cold all the time. He'd distance himself and push me away. Then hoover me back in. There was a pattern to his behavior

It started affecting my mental health. When I tried to speak to him. about it, and told him how his behavior made me feel, he was very dismissive and invalidated my feelings. That told me all I needed to know

At first, I put up with it because I didn't want to lose his friendship and I made excuses for his behavior. Time only revealed that he was displaying covert narcisstic behaviors

The best way to deal with it is to talk to him about it and how it's making you feel. His response and reaction will let you know exactly where you stand. If he wants you in his life and values your friendship he'll never put himself in a position to lose you.

[Asker]

Thank you for this, he actually admitted that he gets jealous when he saw me hugging one of my friends so we have talked, but I feel like it still didn't go anywhere?
He also said that he does like me and thinks I'm really cute but I guess I'm just not his type when it comes to being together which I'm totally okay with because I do enjoy his friendship more than anything, our bond became platonic

[Curious_teen07]

This sums up with whats going on with me and my cousin. Ignore them till he makes the move, or confront him about it. Open conversation is the key to every relationship, even if the outcome isn't a desired one

[Asker]

We have talked it out last night thank you, he admitted that he actually gets jealous and he does like me and thinks I'm cute but I feel like it's possible we're just better off friends which I'm okay with

[YourExLover69]

He sounds bipolar or confused guy. Still he isn't sure about you

[Asker]

He always tells me that he has bad anxiety due to the women that has hurt him in the past especially older woman around my age and older, ( I'm older than him ). Like the only reason all this keeps happening is when he's drunk. I get worried everytime because he's the type, no matter how wastes he is, he will still remember every detail that happened that night, and he still likes to hangout with me.
Like the night when he almost kissed me, he was calling me and messaging me the next day asking if we were still cool, and apologized if he did something stupid, so like he knew what happened but I guess he forgot the part that it didn't happen. I honestly thought our friendship was going to end there. So I was shocked when he asked if I wanted to hang out with him.

[Asker]

* wasted

[YourExLover69]

Don't take him serious for now. He is just drunk

[Asker]

Thank you, I won't take it seriously then.

[YourExLover69]

Welcome dear 🙂

[YourExLover69]

If I'm interested in you, I'd give you obvious hints or lead you on without wasting my time. That's all.

[Asker]

Yes I'm the same way, so he when he first made it obvious by telling people " oh we're just friends" I never gave it any thought to try anything.

[YourExLover69]

Hmmm that's right. by the way where you from?

[Danny_dan92]

Move on

[Asker]

In a way I have, but the only reason I questioned it because I honestly just wanted to be friends with him and then after he told me gets jealous I just rather be friends instead of being in a relationship I feel like things could be complicated

[Danny_dan92]

Things get complicated.