What should I do about a judgmental and contrary friend?

[CNoelle22]

So preface- this person has helped me a lot and has been there for me when I needed them, but it seems like whenever I meet a new guy or do something new my friend can never be happy for me, it's always something along the lines of "but should you be doing that?". I don't feel like my friend accepts any of my choices and always judges them and it's getting to the point that I've distanced myself.

This friend is also HABITUALLY late to anything and everything, even classes (we're in college), by at least 30 min to an hour, so they're not perfect enough to judge people and their opinion is ALWAYS contrarian to what the friend group/I am saying. Like they alwaysssss have to be different.

I don't know what to do anymore because my friend has helped me a lot emotionally and has been there for me so it's not as easy to just leave but it's just so much and they even judge the other friends in my friend group that they're not a part of.

[Anonymous]

My ex best friend is the exact same way. I started writing a comment describing the similarities, some of the pros and cons, but I don’t think you need the comparisons for me to give you some simple advice.


I spent 15 years going through similar trials and tribulations. Or relationship was very revolving-door, where we’d have a mostly positive friendship but the minute a man entered the picture, it always brought up the same issues and arguments. You must understand that it’s never going to change or stop. Those negative traits of hers are part of who she is as a person, and it’s something you just can’t change.


My friend would make it really impossible to leave her whenever she noticed I was pulling away, it would be like the equivalent of love bombing lol so if your friend does anything like that, then paired with your history together and the positive aspects of your relationship it’s hard to go. But don’t be like me, feeling too guilty and attached to walk away that you waste more months and years putting up with drama. All of that frustration and anger builds up, and what you don’t want is to resent each other and my ex friend and I sort of do. Distance yourself if you feel too bad about formally cutting ties.

[Opinion Owner]

***as my ex friend and I

[Emanon25]

Your friend’s help should be appreciated but not to the point to make you feel uncomfortable and judge you to choose your friends and have control over you.

[leahzrc]

tell her how you truly feel