Is 2 years enough time to date again if a partner dies?

[Anonymous]

It's been now 2 years since my brother's long-term girlfriend died.

He's still taking his time though. Would you say 2 years is enough time for him to date again?

Updates

+1 y

Sometimes he still gets depressed that he never got a chance to propose to her after getting off work that day. He had to sadly return the ring.

[Potteplante]

For some it is - for some it isn't.

The only person who can dictate that - is the person who experiences the loss of their loved one.

It's been a little over 2 years for me - I'm just starting to date. I've had people tell me I needed to start dating earlier and I've people judging me for dating now but the thing is - this is my life, my timeline. That I'm dating again, doesn't remove my love for my late fiance or make him any less important, nor will my love for my late fiance make my future partner any less important.

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend of 7 years died of suicide in August of last year.
I started seeing another 6 months after she died.

But mind you, I still haven't moved on and I'll never love a girl like her, but I had to do something to fill the gaping hole she left in my heart and find some resemblance of happiness so I don't kill myself too.

I'm not saying what he should do, but there is no time frame and no rules to when you should start up again. It depends on the person and what's going to be best for them.
He's the one who's still here and has to live with this undying pain

[Asker]

Yes he can't get over the fact that he already had bought a ring a week in advance. He was working on a double shift and was ready to propose that day after getting off work but never got that chance. He had to return the ring. He felt he lost not just his partner but his future life together and what would it have been if we had kids by now, etc.

[Opinion Owner]

I know exactly how he feels unfortunately.
He needs to know that seeing a new girl isn't a slap in the face to the one who died. What is a slap in the face to her is living the rest of his life miserable and alone.
The last thing she'd want is for her death to bring him down too and make his life and her death meaningless

[Opinion Owner]

He'll never get over her, and she'll always be number one. Moving forward is not leaving her behind

[Opinion Owner]

Oh and never say the words "move on" to him. I fucking hate that phrase so much and everyone says it

[Asker]

Yes indeed she'll always be in his heart. I hope the 2nd woman he meets will be someone that adds value in his life.

[Opinion Owner]

She will. He's not gonna let just anyone in, believe me

[lightbulb27]

Depends on ther person/personality, time together. Sounds like he hasn't made peace with the past, so the past is holding him. He may need help processing those memories and emotions, putting them in perspective so he can get to the other side of "appreciation" for the time he got.

Best prescription I can think of is group therapy, journaling, having it out with God. A good time to meet Jesus.

Sorry for your loss. We forget how fragile we are... every moment is a gift, we can meet our end in an instant.

[Smashingdoozy]

Sometimes an eternity isn't enough time. He will date again when he is ready to.

A friend of mines great uncle was in love with a woman when he was in his 20s. After being together for 6 years she decided to take a job opportunity in another country, he didn't want to move countries but encouraged her to go anyway because it was an amazing opportunity. He's now 90 and has never dated anyone else.

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing the story. It would've been better if he find another woman that open his heart. At some point, I think someone needs a companion. I hope my brother eventually finds love again though. I'm willing to bet she would want him to be happy, find another woman he wants to one day propose (he never got a chance to ask her the question; he had already purchased the ring and had to return it the following day after her death) and not be sad anymore.

[bolverk]

There is no hard and fast rule about starting to date again after the death of SO, he may get 'stuck' and never date again. But for Gods sake don't start pushing him to date, He'll start dating again if and when he wants to, what he need is time to process it and that could take years there is no set timetable for things like this.

[OlderAndWiser]

Depends on how long they were together, whether they loved together, had children together, etc., but depends mostly on him.

[Asker]

They were together for nearly 5 years and he was working on a double shift that day. Before dating, they were friends for 2 days. He had already bought an engagement ring a week in advance and was ready to propose that day after finishing work. Unfortunately, he never got the chance to ask her the question. Sometimes he imagines what life would've been like if they had their first child by now. He had to return the ring the following day after her death.

[OlderAndWiser]

`How horribly, horribly tragic. I don't know that I would ever resolve all of those feelings any more quickly!

[AviatorTom]

Everyone is different. Some people might start seeing others a few weeks after the partner's death, while others might take years. In general, I would guess that 6 months is enough time to grieve and start a new life.

[Asker]

He feels she was the one and he never had the chance to ask her the question. He had to sadly return the ring the following day after her death. Now he feel it's going to take a while before he ever feels that way towards another woman. He's still gets sad about that, never having that chance.

[Apulu_Imback]

Not really, it depends on the person. One should get in the field again only when he/she has completely moved on otherwise it'll hurt their new partner only.

[silvermoon84]

I would say two years is pretty reasonable but I’m also just a person on gag. I think your brother should date whenever HE feels ready (my condolences to him for his loss by the way).

[kylee2437]

That’s his personal business and hopefully you aren’t trying to meddle yourself into how he handles this situation.

[Asker]

I'm not but I wish he found love and was happy again.

[kylee2437]

@asker are you sure he even wants another relationship? Just let things be. He lost someone he didn’t expect to lose and the dating world is difficult right now. You should make sure he is happy first. Be supportive of his current life

[Asker]

Yeah he's still devastated. He had to even go back to the jewelry store to return the ring. He was on a double shift and planned to surprise afterwards. He never got that chance.

[kylee2437]

Awww I feel sorry for him. Best case is just be supportive at this time, he clearly loved her and things are going to be just a little different for him

[Asker]

Thank you. I will

[nolabels]

Only if he wants to, but yes, two years is plenty of time to me.

I'm sorry for the loss to your brother and yourself.

[BCRanger10]

It depends on the person. Personally, I think two years is more than enough time.

If I may ask, what happened? That may play in too.

[AaronKrieger]

Can be, but it really depends on the individual for when they feel ready. It's not going to be the same for everyone.

[Nikki1989]

2 years is a very long time. If you haven't healed by then, you probably never will.

[Jazzy54]

Let him be. He must’ve really loved her. He’ll get back out there when he’s ready.

[Asker]

Yes he did loved enough to buy a ring. He was going to surprise her after his work ended but instead received the bad news afterwards. He never got the chance to deliver his proposal speech he had prepared for days.

[Asker]

I wish he would be happy, finds love again and eventually the next woman in his life adds great value to his life enough to make him want to propose once again.

[abc3643]

It was for my mom - sort of. I can't be sure of the timing, but it was definitely less than 4 years.

[Smiling_Baby21]

Anytime is enough. People grieve differently in my opinion.

[exitseven]

Everyone is different. I knew somebody that was married to a guy who was dying of Cancer. She met somebody before he was even dead.

[slatyb]

It's up to you. Two days could be enough depending on the circumstances.

[Fireguy17]

You will know when the time is right.
Everyone is different.
Start out slowly.

[DarkWinterNights]

If the love of my life died, I’d never get over it and would probably never date again.

[LiamJHayden]

It depends upon the person. Some widows or widowers never date again, others remarry in less than a year.

[KrakenAttackin]

Seriously? Most women have a new man inside of two weeks.

[serious_miss419]

It’s not up to anyone else how and when someone grieves or processes anything. We aren’t them.

[Anonymous]

As long as he needs if the only correct answer. Someone's love for someone should never be questioned when they were willing to spend their life with them

[Anonymous]

Everybody is different with that. Sometimes it could take years and some people can be good after a year.

[Anonymous]

I think you have to take this one case by case.

[gorydetails]

More than enough time.

[Asker]

I think so. I want him to find love again. I want him to be happy.

[Manuel2]

Only he knows when he is ready and no one else

[rideorsleep]

Sure

[In_Trance]

sure

[Nominal]

Yes.