Im rich but in love with a poor guy?

[Anonymous]

Im HELLA boujee but his family is not rich. But for a sad reason. His dad died when he was young and his mom has a million side hussles. he's the sweetest most gentleman I have ever met. But my family is so boujee and I'm used to the rich lifestyle. My brother and sisters are married to rich men rich families. He has potential. He just graduated college. He's doing a grad school entrance exam. But I don't know if he will even get in. Do I go forward with this guy or am I just going to be unhappy?

and lowwkey i get worried he knows how boujee and what if he's using me getting to me for my money and the fact I have an amazing high paying job.

[Effably]

The most powerful capital someone truly wealthy has is arguably not wealth itself but their social capital.

Assuming you come from real wealth you know this. Much of your upbringing would be in maintaining and dealing with relations. It is perhaps more about who you know than who you are.

And well, by being with you he has access to that social capital. That means that what would have been a moderate success becomes an overwhelming one. Succeeding, honestly, is a given at that point.

Now of course, if by hella boujee you're talking a few millions, then all of this is out the window. And you might want to skip at least the hella part of the statement.

I would just integrate him in a few events. See if he takes to it. If he does, he'll do just fine in the future too. As for him being with you for money, I doubt he is. Some guys might but it is rare. Really rare. His comment was probably more to do with him wondering what he can add to your life than asking you to care for his. And that is likely to be a returning question, so you might as well learn to answer it.

[richardcory]

Usually grad school exams happen before you finish undergrad. But in any case, how much money he has isn't important, since you have money. What matters is if he is working to become the sort of person you can respect. (whatever it takes for you to feel respect)

[Asker]

noo usually they happen right after people will take a whole year break to study for them sometimes. he's taking a gap year rn

[richardcory]

May be dependent on the field. I was already accepted to grad school in my last term as an undergrad. Its fine to take a year if people want, and maybe that is more common in the last >30 years. Things change

[kylee2437]

Seems like he has a good head on his shoulders if he graduated college. You will only attract a user if you allow that person to be a user. Maybe this relationship will teach you, that not everything needs to be boujee and extravagant.

[Asker]

I want boujee lol if he gets into grad school he csn give me the life i wantt :(. he's a year younger than me. He did make a joke about living off my money once :(( pushed me the wrong way

[kylee2437]

@asker maybe you should leave him alone then as you seem to want him based on superficial aspects and are holding him to standards that are unfair because you come from generational wealth.

[Asker]

Im not from generational wealth. My parents worked their asssesss to be where we are now. I worked my asssd to be where i am. I wish it was generational lol. He doesn't even have a job rn. :( unemployed. I like him so much, but i want my man working.

[kylee2437]

Yes but you still benefitted from your family, he didn’t have that benefit. Leave him be.

[Asker]

i know. he has potential. I just hope he works hard and does it. I feel like Im making him lazy distracting him from his test.

[kylee2437]

Yes but you are insinuating he should do that for the wrong reasons. Not everything needs to be boujee , but that’s what you want , maybe you shouldn’t go for a man where you have to rely on him for that

[Asker]

im scared I've been telling him my purchases and he's going to get scared of me lol I'm high maintenance aF

[chicken_nugget24]

The guy sounds like a hard working and honest man. You sound like a spoilt brat. Go your separate ways

[Asker]

He is an honest man. He has a body count of 3. One of them cheated on him. Im saving myself till marriage. I am a spoilt brat tbh. Im an aware spoilt brat

[Asker]

His mom caters food sometimes on the side and he was helping make stuff and ughh he helps his mom so much. Such a good guy. I just want him to get a good job and ill be w him in a heartbeat. Rn he's unemployed lol studying for an entrance test. I can't be with an unemployed man.

[chicken_nugget24]

Break up. He deserves better

[Asker]

Would you be with a guy with no job

[Asker]

We aren't together loll just been talking for 2 weeks lolll

[chicken_nugget24]

I supported my boyfriend when he wasn't working, and he is helping me rn as I can't work due to mental health issues. That's what you do when you love each other

[Asker]

thing is I've known him for 2 weeks lol. its still hellla early.

[chicken_nugget24]

U can't love him then lol

[DextroShade]

Men typically don't use women for money, and the men at your income level will have higher requirements of you and be more likely to cheat than he will. If the guy makes you happy you should go with him.

[Asker]

He said once how hell do nothing and livr off my money as a joke. Pushed me wrong

[DextroShade]

Understandable, but you should judge him by his actions and not a bad joke he made. If you see continuing with school or doing other things to further a career then you should stay; if you see him doing nothing, giving up, and being a bum you should leave.

[Anonymous]

haha dont worry just go on you don't deserve this guy, you are just a bitch that thinks money is everything, disgusting.

[Asker]

Money isn't everything but i dont wsnt to be someone who is lit unemployed. I dont deserve that. I want him to have a good job and id be w him in a heartbeat. he's a sweetheart

[Opinion Owner]

I still don't think your process of thought is a healthy one, nothing wrong for him to have a good job but then again matters of soul and heart will never be related to money, if you love a person you love her/him if he/she is the richest or poorest man in the world, that is true love and even if it sounds idealistic for these days it still applies, will always apply. Furthermore money taint and poison people minds sometimes... I have a saying give a person a lot of money to see who he/she really is. Getting back to it, it is just very superficial to include a person job or status in a relationship it is a recipe for fail souls bound beyond space and time in a space of pure emotion when they vibrate happiness and love, and yes you can see how I did not even mentioned money, which in the end are just paper.

[Asker]

i might fall fall in love with him. I've only known him for 2 weeks rn. But i could see myself falling harddd. but I'm just not sure if its a good idea to let myself.

[Opinion Owner]

Well then again two weeks is not much, so maybe be precatatious about that. Anyway, hope you find happiness, such a hard thing to find.

[In_Trance]

it won't last long