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Ever since the last break-up (another failed relationship) and a total waste of time to both me and my family, I've abandoned the ''sweet, hispanic method and developed the westernized style. Nowadays I keep my life private and no longer post too much. At some point I plan on taking a long break from even FB.
Now it all makes sense to me. Why the hell do I have to present him to my family when it's our meeting (he cares about meeting ME, not my family) and nothing is serious? Why should I be expected to serve him meals just because of the so called ''hispanic heritage and feminine qualities thing''? Why should only cooking be a way to winning a man, what about my other traits and likes?
Lastly I'm 36 and don't have anymore patience for anyone wasting my time. Is it normal to feel that way if something isn't working?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Sounds like you're Fed Up! Which is fair, when you put "everything on a plate", but is nothing in return for you.
yes I'm absolutely fed up with that as well as a boyfriend giving me false alarms about marriage, using the marriage and kids line as a dangling carrot to us. I wish men would understand how we take the word ''marriage'' seriously and in our minds, compute it to that he's going to propose soon.
I'm willing to bet they wouldn't like it if I made them go to a motel, promised them a great night, made them pay for the whole date but were to say NO when he's already undressed and turned on. They would also get royally upset too.
That would be Savage...😈😈😈😁
And the similarity between them is just like the man can't do anything (we can refuse sex at any time, any moment for whatever reason) but accept our no, a man can refuse to commit even the day after he proposes and suddenly say he no longer wants marriage or wants to postpone the wedding and there is nothing we can't do if he won't progress the relationship. Yeah it can suck when only one person has the power to get something done.
It does suck, as it should be the "50/50 pull" not the 20/80, not fair... i love couse you let it all out... its good to vent.
yea you shouldn't so early in the dating anyways
Yeah I'm giving him NOTHING. I have a date next week and will see how things go from there.
With my last relationship, my mother and other relatives (except dad; he was against all of that but they failed to listened to him) were making too much propaganda about how I found a great man, how lucky I am and he was welcome in the house too much, too much effort done for just a boyfriend. They were treating him as if he was ready to take the next step, meaning propose. LOL... the only next step he ever took was break-up, lol.
all that effort and propoganda for nothing. Too much expectation placed on... only to get disappointed.
It's better when you don't have much expectations and things happens when you least expected.
yep anon i honestly think you should wait a good amount of dates before you actually start involving fam 🤣
Indeed I'm fed up. I'm also tired of false alarms too. My last ex boyfriend would bring up brief conversations about wedding prices and even got me to search information about the steps towards getting married (I even went to the municipal with my mother to find that out), all that for nothing.
I fail to understand why do some men bring marriage into the topic if they don't plan on proposing soon. Do they have a idea how serious most of us take that? A woman getting excited about getting proposed one day is the same as a man getting excited in winning a grand new car.
What he did to me (as well as any man that gives a girlfriend false promise of marriage and kids) is the equivalent of getting a man all excited for sex to suddenly refuse it all when he's already undressed and turned on. I'm willing to bet any man would be royally pissed off if I did that.
i can see your point there but some people i guess like to know very early on, dont let it unmotivate you tho
Knowing early what you want is different than lovebombing someone, misleading them and even giving them a false wedding date, all talk but having no intention of actually following through.
yea but not everyone has false intentions tho
My new stance is that while we're still at boyfriend and girlfriend stage, I won't believe in "one day" or get too excited if he mentions about a wedding soon unless he proposes. See it to believe it (not go by my ear... go by my eyes) is my new stance.
At this moment, the way I feel at any man throwing me the "I want marriage and kids" is like a telemarketer telling you know won a trip to Disney World. I won't believe him.
That line got thrown at me too much.
well i can understand that after so many times of hearing it and it being empty but just know, some mean it, it just takes a lot of time and preperation, even mentally
Yet some of them will happily live with their gfs for years and even have kids with her but never go on with the proposal. Raising kids is even harder and takes a lot if time too, yet they can do that but not propose. Then I find endless stories of women writing about why he won't propose after living together for 5+ years and having kids.
well just how there's lots of people that dont propose, there's a lot that do, you should focus on that second part anon 🙃
Those women will likely never get proposed. After the 2-3rd year, the chances of a proposal declines by then.
Yeah I'll continue searching for a marriage-minded man. I'm laying everything on the table early on.
you can't tell the future anon, you gotta stop focusing on the negative and focus a but in the positive, im sure that you are more than capable of being proposed too but its gotta be the right man, cheer up, some men are shit and others aren't
I've just realized this was writting more than 2 years ago by now. My change in strategy worked. I was 36 when I wrote this and within 1 year and a couple months later, I got married. Our son is now 10 months old. I'll finally get to have my first Mother's Day (this May 10) at the age of 39.
Yes.