Is it normal that I don’t wanna spend the night at my friends house after I just got home from a trip?

[Anonymous]

So I have just gotten back from my trip today and already my friend asked if I wanted to spend the weekend with her to get things off my mind. I JUST got home and just want to relax, plus I have a load of homework I have to catch up on a lot of homework. I did do someone homework but I still have shit to catch up on, plus my grandma’s birthday is this weekend. She told me, “Well you can do your homework over at my house and do your tests when you get home Sunday. Plus I missed you and it will get things off your mind. Please? We can take you to your grandmas and we can pick you up when the party is done.
I told her how about next weekend. She didn’t respond. Plus I have to clean the fish tank. I just wanna rest at home.

[HollyK21]

Sounds just like an old friend of mine lol. On one hand I understand where she’s coming from, it’s Halloween weekend and she wants to hang it with you. However if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years it is never spread yourself too thin and learn how to say no.


I struggled with that for a long time, feeling guilty as hell if I couldn’t do something and inconveniencing myself in one way or another to accommodate a friend. Eventually I asked myself why aren’t they putting so much energy behind my “yes”? Because it works in their favor, which is selfish. I realized that your true friends will understand “no”, and not take it so personally.


They know we have lives outside of each other and as we get older with more responsibilities we won’t be available how we used to. They respect the boundaries you set, just as you respect them and theirs. So if this woman is your true friend, she may be upset but ultimately she shouldn’t give you a hard time as if you don’t already feel bad enough. This wasn’t a planned event you are cancelling last minute or inconveniencing her, so don’t worry about it so much and remember “no” shouldn’t be

[Asker]

I don’t care about Halloween. I already have plans.

[HollyK21]

Totally fine, not everyone is into Halloween including myself. I just know how big of a weekend this is for people (at least those who party Or celebrate) and if you’re like her main friend then she’s probably counting on you to be her partner. Like I said though, it isn’t your problem. If you already have plans on top of that then she should be understanding of this. Is she suggesting you cancel on her behalf?

[Asker]

No. I have a test I need to redo tomorrow, homework, my grandmas birthday, clean my room. Got stuff to catch up on

[HollyK21]

Honestly you shouldn’t even have to explain all that. You have plans and that’s the end of it, no need to justify what you already had going on. I think it would be far different if you were bailing last minute or ruining important plans.

[Wise4myage]

That's quite normal in my opinion.

[DaBiggestBird]

Absolutely,

[Asker]

Plus I have homework to catch up on and I got tests and my grandmas birthdays

[DaBiggestBird]

Jamm. Yeah definitely stay home and recharge.