What is an excuse to spend the night at my boyfriends house?

Question

I'm 19 years old and my boyfriend and I have been together for awhile. My parents are still iffy about him because he is in the military. I live at home still, so while I'm under their roof I have to obey their rules. My boyfriend wants me to spend the night at his house, not for sexual reaons but because he likes to cuddle and doesn't get to see me as much anymore because he has been busy with work. We just want a night to ourselves for once. My parents will not be cool with me staying there, but I really want to go. What excuse can I use? I really don't spend the night often at my friend's houses so I can't say I'm going to spend the night at so and so's house.

It really isn't for sex, It's just literally because we want to be able to fall asleep in each others arms for once.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Looking to make up an excuse is the wrong way to go about it. And this is the reason why your parents won't let you go stay the night. If you want them to trust you all you have to do is be honest and show some responsibility. Just go over to his house but set a time that you and your parents agree on is acceptable for you to stay over. You don't have to stay all night to fall asleep in each others arms. I fall asleep on my boyfriend all the time just watching a movie. It could be a good compromise for both you and your parents. Hope everything works out, but don't lie.

TrueConfection · Accepted Answer

Don't lie. Your parents will know you lied and that will be more damaging to your relationship than anything else. They'll be disappointed that you spent the night, but they also won't know if they should take you at your word about anything else (what you did, what you didn't do, what your plans are next time, etc.) and they will dislike your boyfriend. Is cuddling for a night worth all of that misery and damage?

Go see a movie, go watch a sunset, or just spend some time together and go home.

Sexualchrist · Accepted Answer

Not for sex hey? ... that's ok no judging on my part. You know some people have sex just for fun? Weird...

Anyway. Why don't you say you're going to stay the night there because you both want to leave to go check something out really early in the morning and it will just save time and hassle if you can just leave together.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

What would happen if you just went over there and then called your parents to say you're staying the night?

Maybe go over for dinner, and then call them (or get him to call them) to say you're feeling ill and don't feel up to the drive (or walk or whatever) home.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

"It's not really for sex." Do YOU believe that? I doubt that anyone else reading this will believe it!

Bethany22 · Answer

It's still not a good idea to go. He may still hope that you will change your mind, after all that cuddling.

Avicenna · Answer

They're not going to be OK with it, no matter what reason you give them

TalynMere · Answer

First off, even if you were going for sex, it doesn't matter. Besides the obvious fact that you're an adult, if you want sex, or even to just feel sexy with your boyfriend, there's nothing to be weird about.

Here's the thing. I could give the very mechanical answer of specific phrases you could use to trick your parents. Ultimately your emotional composure is what prevents people from knowing you're lying, so what you say doesn't matter too much.

But. Your parents just care about you. I agree they're probably overbearing, you're 19 and in charge of your own life and you want to get out. The sooner you learn to express yourself and set your boundaries, the sooner you'll be a happy adult. So it's good to want to go do your own thing.

However, you shouldn't lie to your parents.

The true adult thing to do is clearly, calmly express yourself to them, explain your feelings and wants, and then hear them out. Understand their perspective.

If you're not convinced, just do it anyways, you don't *need* their permission. That's legitimately the adult thing to do. Treat them with respect, but ultimately own yourself and your life.

Screenwriter · Answer

Don't be naive about spending the night at your boyfriend's house. You're both adults and are sexually mature. Make sure you have condoms or other birth control WITH you when you spend the night and make it clear to your parents you aren't planning to have sex, but you have protection just in case you do.

Parents don't want to become grandparents by accident from a young man they 1. don't particularly like at this point, 2. their 19 year old daughter 3. that they'll have to support and help because neither are financially stable enough to support a child themselves.

This is mostly why they are sour about this guy. Take care, let them know you are careful, what you do or don't plan to do and that you are bringing protection just in case.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I would be reluctant to lie to your parents bc if they find out afterwards, you run the risk of them being tougher on you in the future. In addition, it automatically paints a target on your boyfriend's back as not being a good guy based on him allowing you to stay over.

Before you know it, they have limitations on you seeing him at your place etc., and then you get to spend even less time with them.

Why not ask to have him over for a movie, etc., show them he's a good guy and gain their trust. Eventually, they will feel comfortable with you going over to his place.

dreamstar72 · Answer

If cuddling is all you two want. Here’s an idea.
You “Mom I love you and dad, but I love (boyfriend name) with all my heart. He is a major part of my life. I miss him so much well this this Monday coming up he has to attend a special training ops for the week. So I will not see him for 10 days. So please can he spend this weekend on the couch, so at least we can be close together and watch tv, listen to music. This way we can show you that we can be trusted. Think of it this way mom a date with a chaperones. I’m going to miss not talking to him for a whole ten days, so please”.
Surely you can give up seeing him for for ten days as for talking for ten days buy a burner

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Lying about it won't make it better. Your parents are concerned for a reason, so don't invalidate their feelings, but you are a grown young woman who will make her own decisions be it for the better or worse.

You want to go see your boyfriend? Go see your boyfriend and let your parents know. God forbid something happens, they can at least know where you are and who you were with.

Gent207-2 · Answer

It's called Move Out

You are both legally consenting adults, what you do in private is your business. However since the rents still provide a roof over your head, I'd advise you two just elope and move out.

Want a real test for a soulmate - go shopping for paint. You'd be surprised what you learn about each other.

tesniolite · Answer

1. maybe just explain u want to spend quality time together

2. maybe its more conveniant to stay there if ur going somewhere the next day

3. maybe explain some issues ur having with somebody in the family and ask to just have some time away

4. maybe u have some safety concerns that could be a reason

whatever u do maybe dont lie

razelove · Answer

That's sweet, and confusing. I'd say a good reason would be that you're an adult and should be moving towards independence. My wife and I moved in together very early in our relationship because her parents never liked me, and she wasn't reliant on staying with them. She had her own car, scholarships, and I had my own place.
Just don't be in a rush to get married young to someone in the military, that can go sideways fast lol

Anonymous · Answer

So you're really 19, but your profile says 25-29? ok. Try explaining that's all you want to do to your parents. If they don't buy that story, buy one of these female chastity devices instead and give them the key. They're as cheap as $20 for the first one and $85 for the better one, and you can get them on Amazon! lol

Anonymous · Answer

How are your parents ever going to accept you as an adult if you're being sneaky like a 12yo?

You tell them you want to spend time bonding with him. Remind them that they raised you right and you don't believe in premarital sex (or whatever it is that keeps you from having sex with him). Tell them that you're going, you're a grown woman, and you have to live as you see fit. It might cause an argument. That's part of adult life. But honesty on this one really is best

yaddayaddayadda02 · Answer

not for sexual reasons... hahahahahaha... good one.

Sometimes as an adult you have to do things your parents don't approve of. I would just tell them you're spending the night at his place. They'll have to accept it.

IveGotNoName · Answer

Don't use an excuse, that will only break the trust. You will just have to have an honest conversation with your parents and if they won't let you go, so be it. As long as you live in their house, it's their decision, since you are still financially dependent on them. You'll have to wait until you're moved out. It's not that hard.

Mangospacho · Answer

He’s military? Good. This can help. He is on a secret mission and you have to be there at all times in case he gets compromised. He is an essential part of the success of the mission so any role you have will have global implications. The stability of the entire developed world depends on you staying at your boyfriends house for the entire weekend.

magiusX26 · Answer

honestly this level of parental control tends to be overreaching some. either assert your adulthood openly and honestly (and showing respect for your parents) or maybe just say you want a night out of the house so are getting youna hotel/motel room for the night.

Anonymous · Answer

Tell your parents that you wanna marry him and get hitched. Then you don't need to make up any lies or excuses as if you're doing forbidden works. No Bible teaches you to cuddle or get intimate before marriage and don't commit sin of getting physical before you marry. Respect Bible preachings enough to follow them. Don't disrespect your own religion

msc545 · Answer

You probably are not going to change your parents mind about this and you probably shouldn't lie to them because if they catch you they're likely to throw you out of their house. I think you just going to have to figure out a way to get your own place.

jujus · Answer

Even though you don’t really spend the night at friend’s house, say you are staying at a friends anyways? You could say you went over for a little while and you just fell asleep? It was getting late and you had a flat tire, called your boyfriend to help you so you just decided to stay with him. Get him to stay at your house instead?

What is an excuse to spend the night at my boyfriends house?

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