Do you think its fair to allow only my female friends to sleepover at mine and my boyfriends house?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have recently bought a house together. He's regularly out on business trips and it can be kinda lonely and scary being a young woman alone in a house in a busy city not far from the night life.

So my boyfriend doesn't mind if I have friends over and going out with them on nights out when he's away.

In my group of friends I have two female friends Anna and Hayle and 3 males Jacob, Louis and Connor we try to go out together at least once a month for drinks.

Me and Connor are the only people in the group who already are in relationships. Hayle, Jacob and Louis are all newly single and Anna is just boy crazy as she's the baby of the group at only 19 years old.

Me and my boyfriend have a very big house in the centre of town. It had 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms so it's prefect for guests and my boyfriend is more then happy for my female friends to sleep over after a night out because he wants them to be safe but my male friends he doesn't trust.

Jacob and Louis are like brothers to me and are very respectful but Connor can be a massive flirt especially when he's had a bit to drink. They are a bit rowdy but they would behave themselves in my house or they would know I'd kick them out.

He says he doesn't want them stopping over in the house but I value there safety just as much as my female friends. My male friends get it but I think they think my boyfriend is a bit of a control freak now

[Anonymous]

I have to agree w your boyfriend. Men know what other men want. While I understand your concern for their safety that isn’t your responsibility, that theirs. So if they k ow they’re going to be drinking that night as responsible adults that need to come up w a plan as to how they will get home safe. To me this isn’t controlling. It’s his house just as much as it is yours, you don’t get to make all the rules. The compromise would be your female friends being allowed to stay over. You need to have respect for him as far as his desires, his wishes just as I’m sure you expect the same from him. If things were reversed would you be ok w his male buddies staying over to include his female friends? Even if you are, he’s not, so if you expect to make this relationship work you need to respect that.

[spartan55]

So let them think that. I'm sure if the situtation were reversed those dudes wouldn't want their gfs to host their male 'friends' when they were out of town.
And what do you mean you value their safety? That doesn't even make sense. Those dude's safety is not relying on spending the night at your house. That's bs.

[Asker]

It does make sense, men usually get more drunk then females and leas themselves into dangerous situations like getting jumped or being sick. Plus I have allowed my boyfriend to have a female friend over before. She was being stalked by her ex so we let her stay at ours to throw him off

[spartan55]

Like another poster said, their safety is not your responsibility. They are adults and can figure it out (designated driver is on etc)

[RavVid]

I think you and your friends should respect his wishes. I also think it is good your boyfriend isn't going to let himself be brow beaten with the control freak line.

[Iron_Man]

That’s up to you and your boyfriend. My former girlfriend had a female friend that slept over a couple times in the same bedroom but they’re straight both of them. The other female lived kind of far away