Why is this okay?

[midnightmoon05]

[Anonymous]

This definitely wouldn't be okay in my house. My mom makes sure we clean our rooms at least once a week. My brother is more messy than my sister and me but she makes sure our rooms are clean.

[midnightmoon05]

I like your mom.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks 👍

[TiaNour]

When I was a kid my room used to be like that, but I cleaned it pretty often so it wasn’t that bad

[midnightmoon05]

Why was that?

[TiaNour]

My brain was messed up ig lol

[midnightmoon05]

Love your answer. This is what I am looking for… glad you are in a better place now. 😊

[TiaNour]

Thank you ☺️

[Malwi93]

I never understood why parents complain, like what’s the difference when I clean it

[TiaNour]

@Malwi93 I always had company over at my house when I was a kid, i think that’s why my parents were mad

[nonyabeez-wax]

Well, when I was living with my parents, my room ended up like this because anything that was mine in the common areas, they would just open my door, and throw it in. They refused to provide me hangers for anything to be put in my closet. They refused to allow me to have anything resembling a trashcan. They ignored or forgot when my laundry basket broke. They never established a laundry day for me to was my dirty laundry. Then when I lost things, they would blame me. When my room was a mess, they would blame me.

Now that I live on my own, I'm extremely well organized not that I have MY OWN common space that I control, and can keep things in.

As kids grow into teens, they need to be allowed to expand past their bedrooms into the common area, just like you. That room isn't going to be big enough for them forever.

Some ways you can help them become organized:

1. Talk to them about where they believe some things should go. Talk to them about why their room is a mess, and make compromises to where things can go in the common areas of your home. Also ask them what items they need to make organization easier for them. They need your support I'm this. It might be your house, but its also their house until they turn 18 and move out. You are their parent, but you are also their roommate. Thats just a fact of life. Communication is key to any healthy relationship.

2. Make sure they have an easily accessible laundry hamper, 2-3ft tall, in their room. Baskets are going to be too small. Also make sure they have a small to medium sized trash can in their rooms. This will make it easier to keep garbage from collecting in their room and attracting bugs.

3. If they leave something out, don't toss it in their room, that makes the mess YOUR fault not theirs. Ask them to put it in the designated area it belongs, and if they tell you it belongs there AND has a logical reasoning for it to be there, make the compromise. Apart of communication is listening.

4. Add cleaning their room to the list of chores they should be doing, on a day where they aren't already cleaning another room, or have after school activities. Once a week should be sufficient to keep their room reasonable under control, and as they clean it regularly, they will discover on their own that its easier to keep clean if they just keep up with it. If you add it on a day where they are doing something else, they may feel overwhelmed, or to tired to clean their rooms. Cleaning their room might not seem like a lot, but it's a whole room. More than one room can be overwhelming for a teen.

5. If they put something somewhere, and it makes sense for it to be there, for example; an MP3 player next to the family PC in the living room, ask them about it BEFORE moving it.

6. Establish their own laundry day. Where they can clean just their laundry, bedding, plushies, and what ever else they need to have washed.

Teens are learning how to be their own adults, and suffocating them into one small room, with no support, won't help them learn to be organized adults. It only foster resentment that will last for years after they move out.

P. S; Never post your minor children's faces on the internet, or your adult child's face without their expressed and informed consent, especially for something so trivial. This shit is forever.

[Fabiloso]

Parenting goes way deeper than any of this in my opinion. If parents focus so much attention on this kind of shit then they are the problem. Psychologically if we are excited about life and truly happy in our environment we tend to auto clean and keep up our belongings. But true happiness and true sense of life have to be the forefront of the child's life. For example, he shouldn't have the tablet to begin with, he should've been shown how to see the world better. He shouldn't have wanted a tablet. No one stops to realize the insanity just handing a child a tablet does and just giving into the newest iphone trend or gaming system. Hobbies are meant to be beneficial and there's very few games worth anyone's hours of life that they have left. We're all bought into the trends. there's happiness to be had and to be seen with that as well, just isn't as rich as it can be in reality. To me it seems thats why the room is messy. Not because the kid is dumb or the parents are just dumb. They're all lost in this shitty excuse of a life we are all almost forced to live. Even the happiest families I've seen barely have real time with eachother. Their vacations aren't enjoyable. Their past relationships are tethering control over their children because the law says so. The only way to raise a kid is first to know you've grown up completely and spread your knowledge and understanding as far and wide as you could then be the best guidance and wisdom for them. Be way more than any other parent you've seen and make sure its all for them. Dont control, just teach and inspire and if life inhibits you're ability to do so get out of that job or whatever it is immediately.

[beebella]

There was one time when I was a kid, my sister and I went so long without cleaning our room that my dad threw all of our stuff in our closet.
Then we were forced to clean out our closet. 😂

I think it's just one of those things some parents forget about because they probably rarely go in their kids' room (s) after a certain age.

[midnightmoon05]

I agree, parents are “too busy”

[NathanDavis]

it is not okay, but it isn't that bad either... lol

it would be really bad if rodents have moved in and dirt has built up and stuff like that... but there are people who just don't bother much with organization and prefer their "organized chaos" lol, or to straighten up from time to time and not every single day

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

No offense but it appears these kids don't care and keep a messy bedroom, the parents need to do what my late uncle did with my cousin, she wouldn't pick things up and her dad brought garbage bags full of toys she wasn't picking up, down to my grandmas house, and he told her to put them out for the garbage or burn them in the coal furnace.

[FoxEyez]

That's hilarious because NO it's not. But then again... I'm kinda a hypocrite because I do this. But I'm sane enough to know that it's not okay. I'm always blaming my creative side. Like Albert Einstein never combed his hair. It's kinda messy like my mind but this still doesn't make it okay.

[midnightmoon05]

Very sweet. That’s how we know we want to be better.

[denfreyxzy]

As a man I always kept my room organized because that's how my parents raised me. Now, I said organized not decorated.

On the other hand, my wife is a mess. Even since we were dating it was all over the place. Her room looks like the guy in the picture. But it doesn't bother me.

[midnightmoon05]

What about now?
Opposite attracts?

[IceCreamSandwich]

Why is what okay—kids using electric devices in their bedrooms? They could be doing homework on those things after just getting home from school for all the information given. It's okay for kids to use electronic devices privately in a lot of cases. There should be guidelines, but whether those are strictly enforced with a firewall or screen recording or—like most house rules—just with the honor system is up to the parent. Some parents don't want their kids using the internet at all unsupervised. Some allow only a certain amount of time on devices. It all varies by parent and child.

[JacobJordan]

your room, car, purse is a representation of your mind. I was a very disorganized child and for the most part still am a disorganized person because I have a lot going on in my head. a clean room is a sign of a quiet or simple mind. someone who doesn't have much to think about generally because they aren't capable of it. brilliant men and women are generally the most disorganized people. teenagers are likewise disorganized people because they are in the midst of puberty and there is a long of changes going on so their brains are very disorganized. there is absolutely nothing wrong with disorganization provided it is random things and not trash.

[Lliam]

Bad parenting.
Take away those little fucker's devices. Make them do chores, starting with organizing their rooms.

[midnightmoon05]

Exactly…apparently this is okay for some as I go through the shared opinions.

[CrimsonAngel09]

That's nothing compared to how my ex best friend's room looked. Literally every inch of floor was covered, and she even had a plate with food stains. You wanted to sit somewhere, you had to push stuff out of the way.

[midnightmoon05]

What was your reaction when you first saw?

[Apple1996]

Doesn't look to bad. Just some disorganized clutter

[midnightmoon05]

This is a huge problem as parenting stops in this country.

[Smashingdoozy]

Nothing wrong with mess. So long as it's not food or drink mess. Not everyone cares for perfectly straight rooms that look like they belong in a show home.

[midnightmoon05]

Hopefully there are no food or bugs.

[TheSpaceGnome]

❤️ Because it is.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'm in my late 30s, and for artists especially, we don't grow out of the "organized mess" stage of how we keep our rooms.

[Date_a_Snob]

growing up my mom had all sorts of rules which as we got older changed over time...
it us to be take out the trash every day than it became take out the trash when it was full; it use to be set the table for dinner than it became serve yourself at the counter than come to the table

[Anonymous]

Nothing a closed door won't fix. I don't have kids, but when they start ruining the whole house is when I would get annoyed.

I suppose it wouldn't surprise you I have clean laundry I haven't put away for three years or more. Depression will do that to you.

[AviatorTom]

It's not okay, but it's just clutter. An hour of picking things up and organizing is all the rooms need.

[midnightmoon05]

But it should get that bad to beginning with.

[AviatorTom]

They look like teenagers. Responsible parents would make them clean up the clutter at least once a month.

[midnightmoon05]

Once a month? Lol I thought once a week makes sense.

[AviatorTom]

@midnightmoon05 Once a week is preferred; I did say "at least" once a month.

[glennos89]

Why not? It's kinda messy overthere but living in a perfect clean house isn't making me feel better honestly. I like it when a house looks s little bit like someone actually lives in it, instead of perfectly tidy and ordent

[midnightmoon05]

Kids on their devices yet room is messy?
I am not perfect…but parents are not parenting their kids.

[glennos89]

Yeah but you think cleaning helps when it's the same shit all over again the next day?😂

[midnightmoon05]

Why would that be?

[glennos89]

When I clean my house... The next day it's a complete mess again. Especially when I need my tools to fix or build things. Most guys aren't made for cleaning tasks. We are meant to create a mess... Not to clean it 😂😜

[midnightmoon05]

What are you building?

[glennos89]

Self esteem, wooden furnitures, I like to work on scooters and cars. And like to tare apart every broken household machine, electrical device totally appart to either try to fix them or just to see and learn how they actually function. Just your typical guy's stuff I guess.

[midnightmoon05]

That’s cool. You have a work room…aka man cave?

[laurieluvsit]

Tidy Ms MNM... lol

Good question.

One of my sisters is messy like that... lol

[midnightmoon05]

Thank you Miss. Laurie. Interesting how siblings are different.

[mobiusforniner]

Damn. If you think that’s bad…. I’ve been to homes where you couldn’t walk in because of piles of pizza boxes, leftover food, bottles, and trash everywhere.

It’s not ok. People lack self discipline and control. This is the result of a consumer based, pleasure first society.

[NamerOfStars]

Because there's no reason it wouldn't be. "Okay" is the default; for something to not be, there needs to be a problem. Clutter isn't one.

[Malwi93]

Yeah. Why would it bother somebody

[Joshydavid25]

It's not, somebody needs to tell them to clean their rooms..

[exitseven]

It looks like the Board of Health will condemn the place any minute.

[midnightmoon05]

You never know.
I was visiting a good friend from college. Their kids are a year older than mine, we all play together sometimes.
They were complaining about little flies in their house and couldn’t figure out where they’re coming from for months.
One day, the baby sitter found a lunch box underneath the teens bed. I can’t imagine Urrrggggg…..

[exitseven]

When my kids went to college they all occupied the second floor of the hose. Each had their own bedroom and they shared a bathroom. I never went up there and I told them if the Board of Health condemned the place they would have to find some other place to live. When my youngest graduated I had to replace a lot of the woodwork and all of the doors. I also had to renovate the bathroom. It was till cheaper than sending them to live on campus.

[midnightmoon05]

That’s messed up.
Kids are supposed to help the father fix the house. Climb up the roof, clean the gutters. More the lawn. Etc.

My nurse friend at work has 4 kids he adapted. We talk often regarding kids and society. One topic was allowance.
He is a hard cord traditional, raised by the nuns in catholic school.
He said. What allowance? They are allow to live here, eat here, sleep here. Lol and that is his house. They have to respect the rules in his house. The rules are to keep the house clean, respect the property etc.

[midnightmoon05]

What has “free” done to the young people here.

[exitseven]

The time I would spend chasing after them to do something like shovel the driveway I could have it all done by myself. I know it did not teach them anything but I just had no desire to turn a mundane task into a protracted horror show.

[midnightmoon05]

I remember and have seen multiple kids at an yiung age, once started to walk… they want to help. And we let kids help with laundry… organize their socks. Putting light color dirty clothes in the washer…etc… helping in the kitchen… they were involved since kids…did they do it well? Not at all!! The fact that they have the heart and energy to help…we were patient to model. So they feel helpful success once the tasked is completed.
What I noticed … parents do it for the kids because kids are too slow and messed it up.
That’s the training the kids will feel they will never be good enough.
My daughter used do things for my son. I had to tell her many many times that she is not allow to do it for him or speak for him. (My mother in law’s personality).
My second hubby also is very hard working. He wants to do the work for the kids.
I have to tell him to let the kids do the work.
Teach the kids to be a part.
My son is off this Friday. He will learn to change oil in the car with dad. I have set that schedule for the men in the house to be in charged. 😊

[exitseven]

Wow mr Lightbulb changes his own oil. Me and him must be the last two holdouts.

[midnightmoon05]

He does everything. ❤️👍
I have to tell him to do less and go play more.
(So we go out, do things on weekends.) week days, he cooks a few meals. Grocery shopping…chat up with some chicks… does whatever in the house, outside the house/garden. Washes the car, fixes the car, the computer… whatever makes him happy. Play, go to the track. washed his dirt bike, go biking 🚴‍♀️ Hang out with the guys. I encourage him to. All his friends/family more often. I encourage him to go visit his siblings in Maryland.
Holidays, we travel. He finally feels like he is living life. A real life.

I am trying to tell you the same. But you are stubborn 😂 you work too much!!

[midnightmoon05]

I told you to hang out with him a long time ago. 😊

[exitseven]

I am mired in the reality of my life. If I did not work I would just be sitting in my house watching reruns on TV.

[midnightmoon05]

That would be awful waste of life.

[exitseven]

And so I get up early and go to work every day.

[HouseMoat]

Who said it was? It's not OK but, you can't control what people do, only what YOU do

[midnightmoon05]

They are kids. They need to be taught?

[HouseMoat]

I mean, you can only show them what SHOULD be, not what they NEED to do, if that makes sense

[Raaj4you]

No, it's not organised. My rooms are slightly like this right now. I don't cook and clean. Only maids do the cleaning.

[midnightmoon05]

Who cooks?

[Raaj4you]

I order food online.

[midnightmoon05]

Good life?

[Raaj4you]

Yes, you can say that.

[Titanic1912]

One guy left all his clothes scattered on the floor because he couldn’t walk into a walk-in closet because he suffered claustrophobia. It’s never okay. I clean my room when it gets a little messy.

[Unit1]

So long they don't go shooting peaceful civilians in Ukraine or Israel it doesn't matter.

[Unit1]

This is not to say, that messy is acceptable.

[midnightmoon05]

somehow.. those shooters... may have started in living such life style. they are "trapped"

[Unit1]

Maybe even much worse than that.
I know I had messes like these. I was starving poor and had nowhere to hang my clothes or no drawers to put my items in. I kept them in cardboard boxes and I still do. Although I have a hanger now made of poor quality, that is tilted and can't stand straight. That's how poor I still am.

[midnightmoon05]

One way to change that is by doing the opposite. It’s not easy… but we have to force ourselves to try.
Step 1. Tell yourself you don’t want to be this way. To live like this.
2. Wrote it down.
The more you do that… the more you will believe you don’t belong in this place.
3. Action - fold your jeans - put in one small stack
Fold your shirts, put in one stack orderly.
even in an empty flat. With nothing. One can live orderly.
Have a structure in the morning.

Basically it’s everything you never learned from your parents, you must do on your own.
Watch YouTube. Follow thiose who have an orderly/structure life routines.

My daughter is not messy… however m, if I have never model and train her… her room will ended up looking like that.

But I don’t belong in wasting money. Her goal is to have the basic stuff. Her bed, closet, dresser and end tables. Things put away.
She works in the kitchen table. Clean up after herself. And help out in the family.
All these are a must daily!! And years of training.
Start Now!!

[Unit1]

Nah, telling myself that repeatedly won't change it.
Money made these changes for me. It's that simple. This is where my focus is at. I don't need psychological tricks to do that.

[midnightmoon05]

The habit is a road to success ;)

[Unit1]

Fine. But not for me. I have my ways.

[midnightmoon05]

How is it working?

[Unit1]

Easy. I use money and effort to make things happen.

[BLP11520]

It's not, you will have a sloppy life and fail at wok.

[BLP11520]

Work

[midnightmoon05]

Agree. For some reason…some teens transition from this…but I don’t understand why parents are okay with this.

[BLP11520]

I know

[Massageman]

It isn't , in my opinion. But, I don't have to look at their homes. And pictures (if I have them) I can delete.

[SquishyBuns2628]

It's not ok, but if you have ADHD or ADD most of the time it clean clothes that you forget to put in the clothes drawer. And surprisingly all the dirty clothes make their way into the hamper.

[MorningDew90]

I can't say it's OK. My room looked the same in shared flat when I was studying.

[sheikalana]

It looks messy there's a lot of clutter going on.

[IslaTheWitch]

If the room's owner doesn't mind, what is the problem here?

[midnightmoon05]

Who owns the room?

[IslaTheWitch]

Who lives there?

[midnightmoon05]

Kids under age don’t own that room.

[Anonymous]

I work, pay bills and just go to an escort once a month. I am never going to get a girlfriend and nobody likes me.

No one is coming to my house or going to see my room. So why can't I just sit in my messy room in peace.

[andreasderjuengere]

It's ok because their parents made them this way.

It's not ok, because these photos intrude into their privacy.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

I would honestly say it's easier to find your things that way. As long as there aren't any garbage, dirty dishes, food crumbs and dirty clothes around.

[midnightmoon05]

Things? Kids don’t have much that will need to accumulate into that mess.
The problem I see are parents have time to go buy sooo much for their kids. Yet no time to clean a room… something is off there.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Because those kids need to arrange and organize their things the way they want it and what's comfortable for them. A lot of times when parents arrange their things for them, something tends to get lost, misplaced, and even some things parents think it's trash they throw it away without their children's permission. What you think the issue is the room being dirty but you're just showing disorganized room. A disorganized room is not necessarily dirty so there's no need to "clean" it.

[midnightmoon05]

Parents should NOT clean their kids room…!!

Parents should not go buy stuff and more stuff for the kids.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

That's your opinion. And you're making a strawman argument out of this

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Sounds like you're only letting a messy room define anyone's parenting just like how anyone would just let grades define their intelligence.

[midnightmoon05]

Ahaha… you are not a parent.
I said parents should not go clean kids room.
Agree… no one is allow to tell parents how to parents… wait until you are a parent… till then you don’t know what it means.
Grades do not define one’s intelligence.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

It doesn't matter. There exist abusive parents, sociopath parents, abusive parents, parents with unwanted child due to accidents or regrets making them neglectful parents or etc. Just because they're parents doesn't mean everything they do is right and you as a parent should know better unless your children are just an accident.

You said this "Kids don’t have much that will need to accumulate into that mess.
The problem I see are parents have time to go buy sooo much for their kids. Yet no time to clean a room… something is off there." <-- so what are you implying here? In that statement, you're making it sound like parents not cleaning their children's room sound like an issue. While I actually agree that not cleaning their children's room is an issue, you on the other hand disagree. Maybe you don't care if the room is dirty as long as it's organized. Is that what you want? Then your brain is upside down.

[midnightmoon05]

This is the problem with messaging… miscommunication…smh

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Then why'd you even ask a question If giving an answer is a miscommunication? You only want validation and you only want answers you want to hear. That's why it's amazing communication if anyone shares a different perspective

[midnightmoon05]

You and I are saying the same thing.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Maybe if you read properly, You wouldn't say that. I don't agree with parents not cleaning their children's room but I do agree that parents shouldn't organize their children's room. That is still the difference you fail to see

[midnightmoon05]

K whatever you want/say.
I am going to block you. You like to argue for no reason. Especially When we are saying the same thing
I think something is off with you. You do the same to others here.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

I'm not surprised when they're also many other snowflakes like you in here.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

You can block me sure. You just can't finish what you start anyways like a "responsible" parent you're. Can't handle arguments like this, just going to contradict everything in the end and not eat your words. Hope your children don't grow up like you

[midnightmoon05]

My kids are doing very well…snowflakes? 😂 you have no clue who I am and what I do.
One thing you should know is, I don’t like to argue.
You don’t see that we agree on the topic… yet you continue to argue… that’s why I am blocking you.
I wish you the best in life. And hope you find peace within…: my young friend.

[Fuentes]

I hate dirty people I am. like Danny tanner when it comes to cleaning

[Nikki1989]

It is the result of weak or bad parenting.

[midnightmoon05]

What do you think? I also heard it’s nice parenting.

[AmeerX]

Looks like a mess. I grew up watching this but honestly we never this this sort of thing in our house 😊

[Anonymous]

what? those rooms are not even messy in my opinion lol

[collie22]

It's okay for you hun

[midnightmoon05]

Not at all.

[Luckycharms12]

Better than our doing drugs

[midnightmoon05]

Lol… if you say so.

[Lynx122]

How DARE THEY? XD

[HelpfulWoman]

messy rooms? for the most part it isn't?

[worldscolide]

It's only OK if it's not permanent /constant.

[midnightmoon05]

I just read that they can't get their kids to clean their room. I don't get it.

[worldscolide]

Then I'd be getting in there with trash bags and hauling stuff to the dumpster.

[midnightmoon05]

I wouldn't do that. THEY will get a trash bag.

[Manumichael1]

no one said it was ok...

[midnightmoon05]

Did you read some the the responses?

[douride2]

in my opinion it's not ok.

[DextroShade]

It isn't, being a slob is unacceptable.

[Guardian45]

Who said it's okay. Not me.

[Holsen]

Who said it’s okay?

[AlexisTerror]

What have a messy room?

[Anonymous]

Who said it was?

[Kingofkings1992]

What is the issue? Some stuff on the floor?

[Likes2drive]

Probably smells bad too

[LiamJHayden]

I get anxiety just looking at this.

[Anonymous]

No one said that was okay

[midnightmoon05]

Did you read some of the replies?

[JohnK123]

What’s wrong?