I think I’m a shitty human?

[Anonymous]

So I want to start off with saying my oldest sister has mental health issues, but she worked as a mental health therapist so she knows her ins and outs on how to appear normal to a strangers eye.

My sister has been in an unstable relationship for a long time and she has her son (my nephew ) in the middle of it. So much unhealthy and toxicity has been happening over the years, countless arguing. And she hopped back and forth to my mom’s home (where I live and pay rent at currently) and her now ex bfs house.

My nephew doesn’t know what stability is, recently my sister and her boyfriend broke up. Cause she was staying with us for 8 months. She then went over to his place and said she wanted to see my grandma and grandpa and how she couldn’t do it anymore. My sister was reaching out to me but I didn’t want to get involved. I was starting to get concerned but she’s done this for attention before and as bad as it sounds I knew this was for attention and I don’t want to think like that. I seemed very insensitive and I stayed out of the whole thing.

My nephew doesn’t want anything to do with her, he’s 15 and has been staying with us. I don’t want her back at the house here cause my mom and her never get along. They argue, my sister makes messes and I don’t think touched a single dish to wash since she was here. She’s now currently staying with her friend.


I feel like an awful sister, I kept my distance with her. But now I feel awful cause I didn’t get involved, I was there for my nephew and my mom when they needed me but I was more concerned about my own sanity at this point. Because I don’t want to surround myself with negativity, and that’s all my sister is. She gathers all information from you then uses it to weaponize you when you have a falling out. I’m sick of it.

Was I in the wrong? Or am I just a shitty person?

Updates

5 mo

My mom promised me she wouldn’t let her back in the house.

My sister blames everyone for her issues, and it’s never her fault. She told my mom she would imprison her for “kidnapping” my nephew, but he doesn’t want to go with her. So I’m at a standstill here, I just don’t want anything to do with her anymore. It’s all drama with her.

Updates

5 mo

When I say sister I meant my other middle one!

[Anonymous]

No one is in a state to judge you for choosing to avoid your sister. I have mild schizophrenia, severe anxiety and severe depression. These problems haven’t messed up my life. I’ve met normal men I could’ve dated, I’m able to work a few hours, a few days a week (part time); and I have a circle of close friends. I’ve held some really responsible, jobs as a support worker, working for the op shop to raise money for the poor; and working as a nurse’s aide. I’m beautiful, I’m smart and I’m lucky to have a supportive and loving well off family to help take care of me. I’m giving you an example of a mild case, by telling you about my life. After that mild case, things get really stressful for families and carers. I’ve seen both as a carer and as someone with a mental illness, a relative of and a friend and once a partner of people with severe mental illnesses, firsthand, exactly how taxing people with mental health issues can be. I’ve felt bad too, but in some cases, I had no choice but to cut contact with them. The fact that they can’t help it makes no difference to you if you end up committing suicide, being murdered, or staying in a mental hospital from losing your sanity. I’m strongly advising you to cut contact with her, too.

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t feel bad. Some of these mentally ill people are toxic. It’s sad, because you feel bad, knowing they can’t help it, but it doesn’t make it any easier to cope with.

[Cutegirl06]

No you're not a shitty person. I think it's wonderful that you're looking out for yourself, mom and your nephew. Your sister sounds like she's very hard to deal with.