Why is it that parents generally do not warn their sons against dating selfish/disrespectful/exploitive women?

[Anonymous]

I remember a very long time ago I told my mother what issues I was having with a girl I was dating. She said “Oh Joey that girl has no respect for you”.

Now that wasn’t what I wanted to hear but it was exactly what I needed to hear at that time. It was unfortunately very true. The girl I was interested in really was a selfish pos who was just using me. But no one ever encouraged me to draw the line and cut her off.

Anyway it was an extremely rare moment for my mother to say something like that. Usually she was guilting me into kissing women’s asses. My parents were all about old school chivalry at the unfortunately lead to me giving certain women way more leeway that they exploited.

But why don’t more parents warn their sons about the wrong kind of women? It’s a societal standard to condition their daughters to avoid certain kinds of men (although not all daughters follow that advice). But why are men expected to just “get it” compared to young women?

Updates

3 mo

I was in my mid 20s when this happened. No teenager but still young and a long ways to go on better understanding shit testing vs lack of respect.

Updates

3 mo

Just FYI I know there are still some women in western society who respect chivalrous men. But they are very salud a shrinking minority. Also it’s not always easy to tell what a woman is really like off first glance. Lots of hoes will claim they like “nice guys” but in reality they “like” to have someone they can exploit for their own conceited ends.

[Cutegirl06]

I think it goes back to the double standard where girls need more protection than boys do. Boys need to be looked out for too! I know my parents and myself will be looking out for my younger brother as he gets older. There probably are parents that do look out for their sons but most just think that boys can handle anything and it's not true. Boys can be just as vulnerable as girls.

[Asker]

It’s harder for parents to come to full grips how the culture has changed. The newer generation of parents are starting to “get it” now. But there was this gross mismatch of parents who were born in the 50s and 60s still teaching their sons old school chivalry and assuming they would naturally “get it” when it comes to pursuing the right woman vs the wrong one.

Women are neither helpless nor harmless in the modern era. Far from it. The former is a good thing but the latter keeps on being overlooked.

[Cutegirl06]

I see what you're saying and it's so true 👍 I don't know why parents would automatically think that a boy would somehow "get it" without being taught.

[Asker]

There was a time a woman openly expected a man to be a provider and protector. A good father. That’s not to say women in older generations didn’t make bad decisions. But men were expected to court women and women RESPECTED that. Respect doesn’t mean she would ultimately choose him but she would think twice before she took advantage of him. She couldn’t seriously expect to stay platonic “friends” with the guy she turned given the next/other guy she choose would likely be her husband. And her husband would likely be uncomfortable (and pissed) if she was still talking and hanging out with a former suitor.

So these older generations think they can train their sons to “respect” women and the women will inevitably respect him back. Some women still do that. But more and more women can and will exploit that for their own ends. Yet boys/young men are not being taught by their parents to look out for that by their parents.

Anyway I’m glad your parents are on the ball about your bother. He might get lucky and find a decent girl early. But there is a good chance he will run into all sorts of challenges and traps which didn’t exist for older generations of men.

It’s a major fault of older long married men being oblivious to what modern feminism has done to society.

[IslaTheWitch]

Because kids have no habit of listening to their parents' advice. They have to experience it :D

[Asker]

Most parents at least from my generation (and yours) weren’t teaching their sons on how to avoid women who were looking to take advantage of them.

[IslaTheWitch]

My mom sold me some useful tips, but I needed time and own bad experiences to understand them :P

[Asker]

Yes your mother did right. But I was given very little if any good advice from my parents. They still thought dating was the same way for my generation as it was for them. They couldn’t be any more wrong.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. I was always reminded to respect girls, protect them, and always ensure they felt safe around me, but not once was I told how I should expect to be treated.

It's part of why I think so many women do creepy things without even realizing they're being creepy. Most have only been taught about giving concent. Not receiving it.

[Asker]

Teaching their sons about consent and not being creepy/harassing is good. But are sons being warned to look o it for women who will exploit their time, energy, money, heart, etc. via friendzone bs?

[Opinion Owner]

Nope. At least that hasn't been my experience.

[Asker]

Me neither. To my parents credit they were raised in a generation that wasn’t twisted by radical feminism. Women actually respected chivalry more back then.

Still though not every young boy is a “potential rapist” or some bs that parents have to “train to respect women”.

[OddBeMe]

I would say that’s a given. Except people don’t come with those labels on their forehead.

[Nikki1989]

I am sure there are many parents that do that.

[Asker]

I know mine didn’t. I had to find out the hard way.

To their credit they were raised in a generation where most women respected chivalry and didn’t see it as a sign of weakness.