Do I deserve it?

[Anonymous]

I ghosted a few very close friends of mine 4 years ago because they were still friends with my toxic ex. I didn't want to be around them because of that because my ex was almost always there. My ex was very good at manipulating people and making everyone think I was the bad person so I was at a disadvantage. I'm not sure if my friends believed everything my ex said or what my ex even said to them. But I didn't want to be around this drama and negativity so I secretly ghosted them and never talked to them ever again even though my friends didn't really do anything wrong? And now that a few years passed, I am now a victim of ghosters and it just really sucks. But I realized that I might have deserved it because I did it in the past. So I'm thinking of apologizing to my old friends but I don't know? Sorry for the long rant but hopefully someone online read it through. If so, thank you.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow girl, that's a tough situation. I can see why you distanced yourself from your friends at the time if they were hanging with your toxic ex a lot. That drama is just exhausting to be around.

However, ghosting is never cool, even if you felt you had your reasons. It probably really hurt them not understanding what happened. I think at this point, reaching out with an apology would mean a lot.

Explain your side just like you did here - how your ex manipulated people against you and you needed space. Make it clear you don't blame them at all, you were just going through it. And say you regret not communicating before pulling away.

Even if they're not ready to be friends again yet, I bet just hearing you own up to hurting them and say sorry will help provide some closure. Then the ball's in their court to accept or not. You'll feel better getting it off your chest either way.

Just be genuine about wanting to make things right. Fingers crossed they understand where you were coming from. Good luck girl, hope it works out! You got this.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

I think so. Your ex friends had nothing to do with what happened with your ex, but it was your choice to ghost them instead of explaining to them how it hurt you associating with your ex. Now you can see how that hurts.

[laly520]

yes u do

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes.

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome