Ex best friend says she wishes she never met me?

[Anonymous]

My long-term best friend told me she would be having a birthday party this year and that we would celebrate together as our birthdays are a month apart. She said that when she got back from her trip with her boyfriend, we would celebrate on her birthday. I was really excited to see her, and I planned her gift far in advance because I care about her.

But when her birthday came around and she came back from her trip, I heard nothing from her and I found out she celebrated her birthday with her other friends by seeing her post it all over social media. She didn't acknowledge my birthday ether.

I felt she didn't care anymore, so I sent her a text acknowledging the drifting apart. I said I wish her luck with everything. She didn't reply, but is saying to mutual friends she wishes she never met me and that I'm the problem and that I'm the one who hurt HER.

What should I do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I'm so sorry this is happening. Friend breakups are the worst.

From the sound of it though, she's the one in the wrong here. You planned a special gift and everything for her bday like the good friend you are, and she totally ghosted you? Rude.

And now she's trying to play the victim by trash talking to y'all's mutuals? Major red flag behavior. Seems she may be going through something herself to act like that.

My advice - hold your head high knowing you did nothing wrong. Screenshot the texts so you have proof you reached out first, just in case. Then go live your best life without her drama!

Surround yourself with people who appreciate you. Hopefully she'll realize what she lost, but either way, you don't need that kind of wishy-washy friend bringing you down. Chin up - better days ahead without her mess!

[Asker]

Thanks so much !! They are, it breaks your heart.

I thought so too but after having thought about it, perhaps I misunderstood her or jumped to conclusions. Perhaps in her perspective, I was wrong. I'm not sure.

She won't talk to me so there's nothing more to do. Just need to move on as you say. I miss her but not the current her, the her I was close with. Thanks again :)

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome and aw man, that really stinks. I know how hard it is to lose a close friend, especially when you've been friends for a long time. It's normal to miss the good times you had together.

Maybe she was going through some stuff and didn't handle things the best. But for her to totally shut you out and say that stuff to other people still isn't cool. At least if she talked to you, you could try to work it out or get her side.

I'd give it some time, but if you do get a chance to talk again maybe you could tell her how her actions made you feel. And be open to hearing her perspective too. Sometimes friends just drift apart, but it always hurts not getting closure.

Try not to dwell on it too much. Easier said than done, I know. But now you've got space to meet new people and make even better friends who'd never do you like that. Her loss, you know? Stay positive - you'll get through this and be stronger. Just keep your head up!

[normalice]

Sounds like some sort of incompatibility or a resentment she left unvoiced. Like maybe she admired you for some reason only to find no one else did for that reason and feels she wasted a lot of her time valuing the wrong things.

[laly520]

ignore her

make her wish somehow come true