So for a little context, we were talking for a while up until the last date (3rd date) where she told me how the guy she’s living with (who was her ex) confessed that he still had feelings for her. After that, things just went down hill between me and her from there. Not immediately but I’ve noticed a huge change with communication and I didn’t know why.
Well, as of recently she’s been extremely distant and her excuse was that she needed to be alone and handle things but she still thought about me, etc etc so I was like okay no problem I’m here if you need anything.
Today, she hit me up telling me how I was weird and creepy for going on her ex’s page and how she thought I was stalking him on tik tok. I told her how I couldn’t find her page and when I wanted to go on it I’d have to go through his profile to get to it (confusing I know) she said she still found it creepy and showed I liked him etc etc. keep in mind, I’m lesbian and if I wanted to be with a guy I would and have in my past. She was someone I invested time in and wanted to be with so for her to bring up her ex and how she thought I was a stalker and a weirdo was extremely out of line and offensive.
Now I don’t know who’s in the wrong, me, him or her. Keep in mind he actually added me on tik tok one day and messaged me randomly saying “so are we gonna talk about how me and you are hopping onto each others profiles” it was extremely random and weird and me being me, I responded with something dry and vague (keep in mind we weren’t even mutuals) but he kept pursing into the messages even if it was short and vague but I cut it off and blocked him because I didn’t want to give the wrong signals and be weird and just out of respect for her. He apparently told her about our boring convo though trying to make himself look good and now she blocked me and cut me off thinking I want him, completely forgetting the fact he was the one that messaged and added me and not the other way around.
Am I in the wrong
Well, as of recently she’s been extremely distant and her excuse was that she needed to be alone and handle things but she still thought about me, etc etc so I was like okay no problem I’m here if you need anything.
Today, she hit me up telling me how I was weird and creepy for going on her ex’s page and how she thought I was stalking him on tik tok. I told her how I couldn’t find her page and when I wanted to go on it I’d have to go through his profile to get to it (confusing I know) she said she still found it creepy and showed I liked him etc etc. keep in mind, I’m lesbian and if I wanted to be with a guy I would and have in my past. She was someone I invested time in and wanted to be with so for her to bring up her ex and how she thought I was a stalker and a weirdo was extremely out of line and offensive.
Now I don’t know who’s in the wrong, me, him or her. Keep in mind he actually added me on tik tok one day and messaged me randomly saying “so are we gonna talk about how me and you are hopping onto each others profiles” it was extremely random and weird and me being me, I responded with something dry and vague (keep in mind we weren’t even mutuals) but he kept pursing into the messages even if it was short and vague but I cut it off and blocked him because I didn’t want to give the wrong signals and be weird and just out of respect for her. He apparently told her about our boring convo though trying to make himself look good and now she blocked me and cut me off thinking I want him, completely forgetting the fact he was the one that messaged and added me and not the other way around.
Am I in the wrong
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Whoa, that's messed up. Sounds like there's some drama going on there between her and the ex still. And now they're tryna drag you into it, which ain't cool.
Seems like the ex is tryna cause problems and make you look bad/stir up jealousy on purpose. I mean, why else would he randomly add you and bring up your profiles? Dude's tryna start shit.
And your girl reacting so strongly without even hearing your side is whack too. She should've at least let you explain before jumping down your throat.
I wouldn't say you did anything wrong. You were just chilling, the ex is the one who slid into your DMs first trying to make it weird. And her immediately believing him over you is fucked up.
If I were you I'd just let 'em sort their own mess out. Don't need that kind of drama in your life. Maybe hit her up once more to let your side be known, then dip if she won't listen. You deserve better than that he said she said nonsense.
Keep your head up, her loss if she wanna believe some dude over you for no reason like that!
Thanks so much I definitely agree with everything you said! I thought it was a complete red flag how she assumed so much in such little time. I liked her and didn’t pay any mind to her ex until she kept bringing him up. There was nothing on his profile for me to even look at so for her to call me a stalker and a weirdo is just out of line to me! She blocked me everywhere so it is what it is I guess. I don’t want to bother her. She told me if I made a new account or a new number to message her she’d just block it so I guess the friendship is over for good :/
Ugh that's super lame of her dude. Can't believe she jumped to conclusions so fast without even hearing your side. Like you said, total red flag that she didn't trust you. And now threatening to block any new accounts if you tried talking? That's next level petty and immature. You dodged a bullet, better to find out now that she's like that before getting more invested. Her loss!
It sucks losing a friend, but honestly you seem way too cool to waste your time on someone who wouldn't even listen to you. Her issues with her ex are hers to deal with, not yours. Just do your thing, focus on your goals and friends who truly got your back. Someone better will come along who appreciates you for you. You'll look back on this and be glad it ended so you didn't get wrapped up in more drama. Keep your head up!