A momma's boy's mom asks me to freely discuss my future plans with her son, that I got close to recently? why would a mom say that to a woman?

[Anonymous]

[DoggyDude]

she's worried about her son getting hurt. She's attempting to forstall a deeper hurt (of him getting even closer with you) by having a frank talk with you, and if your version of the perceived future you've got in mind mismatches with her perception of how deeply her son cares, she will either trying to re-align your view or look to try to reset her sons expectations.

It's a loving act on a mothers part, but its flawed because it doesn't respect her sons right to working these things out for himself.

On the + side, if your deeply into him and see him as your future. It is actually a good conversation to have and its always a bonus to bring on board his mother, because if his mother likes you it also works for you, she will be chiding her son if he's not caring enough for you too.

I would say, if you don't find the mother creepy and interfering, embrase it and be glad of the support :).

[Asker]

Thanks for your response. We actually met unexpectedly and i happened to get help from her son on something I was working on & I was surprised to have received a huge support from him in all sorts of ways & I felt we were a good team. He had a strength the exceeded mine and I felt protected and safe with him. His mom said we were similar in many ways. Lets just say I felt a strong bond with him, like someone had my back. He is a bit younger and I'm holding myself back for that.

One time I met the mom with her son and she couldn't stop complimenting me. It was too much and i was overwhelmed and I couldn't look at her son's face as it just felt awkward. He said something to get my attention and I looked at him with a smile & he looked at me like 'won't you look at me? & if all is cool kinda look'. I also caught him stare at me intensely that when I saw him, I looked away immediately as it was too strong & I've never seen him look at me that way. Then when we were surrounded by people, I looked his way and he had a strong and confident gaze at me and just kept looking confidently and I looked back at him the same way. When we were parting ways, he held my hand in both his hands, we ended up locking eyes (it was unexpected) and it happened in front of family. and he looked at me more confidently showing that he is there for me and looked at me, like I was the only person who is important to him around our family.

I'm just holding back because he is younger than me.

So I don't understand his mom and why she is asking me to get close to her son and share my future plans - I'm just thinking... she know I'm older?

[DoggyDude]

I guess it depends how much younger he is. Tends to be age gaps matter less as people get older. When your both very young, 2-3 years seems like ages, but when we get to our 50's, up to 20 years doesn't really seem a tremendous problem.

I would say his Mum is just trying to be encouraging for her sons romance (and yes its always awkward).

[Asker]

Thanks for sharing your light. What do you think of how her son was towards me with what I have mentioned above?

[Asker]

Yes, it is a very loving act of the mother! I have never seen a mom do that before with me at least. He is very lucky to have a mom like that! I wish my mom was like that :(

And I know her son is a very nice sort and a very caring man! I only have good things to say about the both of them!

[Asker]

And I am very fond of the son as well & I know if I was much younger, I wouldn't have stopped myself. And I feel, because I'm the older one, I feel latched to not moving forward. I feel, if they come forward directly, I might be able to give in. Other wise, I feel like I can't do anything

[DoggyDude]

I know that feeling myself. When being the older person, it feels like the younger person needs to make the choice or we can feel like we are taking advantage. It's silly in some ways, but I think it shows we are being careful and trying to avoid misleading others.

Her son seems very intense. The only thing I would slightly worry about is he seems very much a charmer, there can be some odd families where the boundaries between parent and child are.. weird.

The son really seems to know what he's doing to romance you. It could be his natural way, but it might be he just knows how to charm the ladies. If you can have his company with other good looking women about and see how he is, will help differenciate a charming person capable of romancing any / all women and a genuine person digging you unqiuely.

[Asker]

Actually, the son didn't do anything to romance me. But he was like a pillar of strength to me while helping me on my venture. He gave me strength and confidence which I haven't received from anyone and he came into my life at the perfect time. It felt like i was in a good team with him, complimenting each other well & both feeling at ease and comfort. That rarely happens to me. It was on the last day when we were parting ways, did his mom start saying how both of us are similar and i felt slightly uneasy as her comments felt excessive, that I couldn't look at him in his face. Followed by his eye contacts. The comfortable feeling with respect that I had got stirred into something else later - left to wonder, whats going on between the 3 of us here?

[Asker]

I didn't see anything romantic would happen in our meeting, but I don't know what to make of the last meeting and his mom asking me later on to talk to him more and things like that. She also said, he's not the best at reaching out, but for me to reach out to him, as he is reserved and on the shy side.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I don't know why, but it goes some way to explaining why her son is a mamma's boy!

[Asker]

Because she is talking for him?

[TommyMountainFigure]

Not just talking for him, but she is undermining him. If he wanted you to talk about any future plans I would think he'd ask you himself! The fact she's doing it makes me cringe!

[Asker]

Yes. I believe he can handle himself very well. But I don't know why his mom suggests these things. Maybe she likes to be involved and finds herself to be responsible between the two and probably is protective of her son and his welfare.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm sure she's doing it because she cares for him, but overbearing mothers can really cause stunted growth. Decision making is all part of growing up.

[Asker]

True!

[TommyMountainFigure]

Thank you for selecting my answer as MHO

[Asker]

Your welcome!