Am I the wrong here?

[Anonymous]

I was texting with my friend on Monday, and she suggested we hang out sometime. After discussing our schedules, we settled on meeting the following Saturday at her house. As the days passed, we chatted and shared memes. However, on Friday, she didn't mention my visit the next day. Being shy, I didn't want to seem pushy by asking if I could still come over. Saturday arrived, the planned day for my visit, but neither of us brought it up. I felt a bit disappointed since I usually confirm plans beforehand. It's strange because I sense she might be upset about me not showing up, even though she didn't express it directly.

Updates

+1 y

"If she brings it up, can I tell her that you didn't confirm the time or anything, or will I sound rude?"

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say you’re in the wrong but you could’ve spoken up. I don't know why shyness has to prevent you from simply saying something like “hey were we still on for tomorrow? Just wanna confirm or not lol”, she is your friend after all and you did have plans not like you were just trying to show up out of the blue.

[Asker]

I know I should, but she always cancels plans last minute. That's why I was waiting for her to confirm or say something.

[Opinion Owner]

If she’s flakey to that extent then she may not be a good person to make plans with. Even if you’re not doing a thing all day but vegging on the couch watching Netflix, your time is valuable and should be respected just as you do with her time. Every now and then flaking is fine, we are human shit happens, but for it to be very often to me is just a complete disregard for your time. Like if it’s a Saturday you could’ve totally did some other shit with your day, you know? Anyway it still would’ve been good on your part to confirm the day or night before, that way if she flaked you know you did your due diligence. This just gives her an excuse to basically say “well you didn’t bring it up either”, when you both know how flakey she is.

[Asker]

That’s exactly what I mean, the times we planned to meet up together end up with me just waiting for her to confirm or cancel. I've had some tough luck with friends, but I'm trying to improve. Thanks for understanding.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, it’s rough maintaining friends so I totally get it. Still, you have to be able to set boundaries, respect each other and hear one another, otherwise the friendship won’t be sustainable. As a shy and quiet person, I already know I can’t have friends who blow me off because they know I won’t really say anything about it, and it’s messed up for people to take advantage of your kindness and quiet personality. You have to stand up for yourself even when it’s hard, even if you risk losing the friend. I actually think it shows they aren’t a good friend if they aren’t receptive when something is wrong.

[Alice18]

She simply forgot, it was necessary to remind.

[XxXoXoXxX]

You both may be experiencing social anxiety lol just bring it up to her and it’ll strengthen the relationship between you both.