Do you think I did the right thing?

[Anonymous]

I help out my daughter a lot with my granddaughter, she is 10. She started to be withdrawn and literally ignored me the whole time she is over. I looked in her phone and it looks like the other grandmother has pitted her against me. “ Ooo, she’s upset, black sheep bahahhh” let’s take her birthday “ “ happy birthday “ this is affecting my relationship with my granddaughter which worse, it’s unhealthy. So, I told my daughter and my daughter basically told me I had to figure out a way with it. so, I did for awhile until last night , it’s only getting worse. I told my daughter , she doesn't want to be here anymore and you won’t stop the problem. I can’t keep seeing her like this , it’s heart wrenching to me. I will bring all her toys over to you. My daughter says “ Ok” . I don’t know what else to do. Did I do the right thing: I’ve asked and asked and they are all laughing at me.

[Kha0tiic_xo]

First I'd like to say your daughters an ASSHOLE no offense, she should absolutely be telling the other grandparents not to speak ill, or talk bad about you (her other grandparents) or she'll stop the visits from her daughter seeing them, not tell you to deal with it! She's allowing toxic adult issues to be brought into the mind of her 10 year old daughter which is disturbing to say the least. And I'm so so sorry you have to go through this, I can imagine how hurt you must be. If I were you I'd be saying something a little more forward and blunt to your daughter about her parenting skills whether she gets pissed at you or not, either way she isn't helping you in anyway when she can end the dramatics she's choosing not too and the only person she's going to end up hurting more down the line is her little girl which baffles my mind. I'd be showing your daughter some real life tough love because what's she's doing is wrong. No matter what kind of issues you and her may have if any that's between YOU AND HER not between you her your granddaughter and the other grandparents! That's a low blow and a shitty immature thing to do!

Sorry this was so long but shit it's got my blood boiling for you. I hope things work out because you or your granddaughter don't deserve this!

[Asker]

Thank you so much , yes I agree. But, I’ve done all that. All of it. And, another thing. I ask if she can come over and she tells me no she’s going to the other grandmothers. Then the other grandmother or the dad bails out and then she calls me and says “ ya she can come over now, I have to go to work”

[Asker]

I think the best thing is to lay low and not accept my granddaughter to come over. That’s all I can do? I don’t know what else to do. My daughter won’t listen. My granddaughter continues to act like she doesn’t want to be here. I know it’s not my granddaughters fault but , I can’t keep doing this and getting walked on and feeling bad. They are using me for their convenience and I always knew this and that was even ok with me because my granddaughter loved coming over but she’s fallen with them