Do you believe that people that are not parents can give parenting advice?

Question

MicahRaine · Accepted Answer

Yes, I believe that they can give advice.

@HawkPerception when I say "you" I don't mean "you" personally, I mean "you" collectively.
Whether you're a parent or not doesn't determine whether you can/should give advice. Personally, I think the determining factors are:

#1 Attitude

If the way you give advice is by being incredibly pushy and/or intrusive, you're basically trying to be a surrogate parent and NO ONE likes that. You shouldn't be giving parenting advice, because all you're going to do is strain the relationship and stress the parent out. The same goes if you don't like it when people don't take your advice.

But if you are the type of person who doesn't mind when their advice isn't heeded and can move on, go ahead and give advice. You won't hurt anyone.

#2 Experience

If you have no experience, you can still give advice. Just don't be surprised or offended if the parent starts listing reasons why that idea doesn't work.

If you DO have experience, awesome. You might have just cornered yourself into a nannying job. In all seriousness though, if you've spent time around kids or studying that topic you could make the parent really happy by helping them get their baby to stop crying.

#3 Your Role

Let's say your coworker whose office is across the hall brings their child to work on the fourth Thursday of April, and then you notice the kids spending a lot of time on their phones. Trust me, that's NOT a sign that the parent is disconnected or is begging you to help get their kids off electronics. Unless the parent asks for advice, stay in your place. Across the hall. Behind your keyboard.

Let's say you're related to the parent. Are you close to them? Do they really like you and ask when you will visit them next? Great, they probably won't mind an occasional "oh I've seen this be really helpful" piece of advice. Assuming that you don't talk like you think they're failing as parents, you should be fine.

VoyeurGuy · Accepted Answer

To a limited extend and with respect, yes. I'm childless and unmarried by choice, not by deficiency. There is nothing wrong with my moral values or mental faculties. If I give advice, it will be out of respect and care and it will be good advice. If I didn't care, I would have just ignored it and moved on.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Yes and no. Parenting is the single biggest responsibility in a person’s life. There’s no “downtime,” no vacation day, no recognition awards, no seniority bonuses, and no real ROI (other than to see the well-balanced adult who flies the coop ready to embrace the real world).

It’s why rail on folks who don’t take the significance of choices leading to parenthood seriously….

As far as formal advising, adults touched by trauma often get a bit of training and volunteer at trauma centers (post-recovery) to be youth counselors etc., which sometimes includes some parental advisement. However as we all know, not all counselors are created equal. Make sure you know the people advising your children. Make sure you trust them before taking parental advice…

As far as informal advising, a lot of people will talk out of their a$$es when advising someone on how to raise their child. EEEEVERYONE wants to add their two cents from the moment you wave the positive pregnancy test wand in the air through till your last f-ing breath. If you have the benefit of a VERY close friend or family member, have that person in your corner. Single parents… make sure you have the one guy friend and the one girl friend who have “been through the ringer” so you maintain a balanced perspective when dealing with tricky issues (visitations and other co-parenting snags, for example).

Again, it boils down to finding genuine, honest people you can trust whose only motivation is to see you happy and be there for you.

Damaged00 · Accepted Answer

No. And I totally understand all of these other answers about professionals, day care owners and being a kid themselves. I really do. But parenting is learned. And each kid is different. They are individuals with multiple emotions just like adults. So what worked for one is not going to work for the next. Parenting is not black and white and it's trial and error 100% of the time. If you have never experienced it personally then trust me you have no idea.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Sure. A lot of people have experience with children not their own. My mother had a daycare in my childhood home for a while, we had 49 kids pass through. There was a running joke my biological clock stopped long before it started as I could sense ahead what each child needed.
It's funny how many commonalities humans have in those early ages. We all say, do and try the same things. It's easy to make predictions.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Sure, if they've gone through something similar in their life that they have an intimate knowledge that can help the situation.

Just because they don't have children doesn't mean they can't relate to what the person is going through in certain circumstances.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Depends on their credentials and experiences.
in our culture… we as strangers sometimes go so far to disciple a child. If the child is not under control. But it’s not common. Usually happens within families, relatives… that’s why kids grow up to be respectful.

MacDaddyRico · Answer

Yes, especially if that advice is based on things like their experiences as an abused child, for example.

I myself was sexually, emotionally and physically abused as a child by alcoholic parents, so my advice would relate to those issues.

kylee2437 · Answer

General advice? Sure, however giving detailed advice towards parents is probably not the best idea especially because the parent most likely knows the child best.

BetaBucks · Answer

Yes, because of their own experience being raised by parents. And of some very common sense stuff, like "don't beat your kids for failing a test."

Elliegirl · Answer

They can. It doesn’t mean they should. It’s almost always unsolicited advice.

xoxosilentgirl · Answer

Yes, although not entirely, they might not be parents yet, but they were once children

exitseven · Answer

They can give parenting advice, the thing is that the advice usually sucks.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

For sure! They might even be more observant and less biased.

strangeatcircleK · Answer

Yes, sometimes they can be more mature and healthy than actual parents with a licensed therapist being a prime example

Talea · Answer

Yes, but more along the lines of "as a child, I hated it when my parents did X, it affected me in X way"

imfreeze95 · Answer

It depends if their job is working with kids. Such as being in Pediatric Healthcare, Teaching or something similar then I would listen to them.

lightbulb27 · Answer

yes because they were children. but I can give advice to rocket scientists too... they can do with it as they please.

madgoat · Answer

Well they can. But it's unqualified.

Booklover_90 · Answer

I would  never  advise someone who has kids.

CieloAzul · Answer

Why not

thegreenyogi · Answer

No not really.

Do you believe that people that are not parents can give parenting advice?

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