Is it wrong so many people on this site give advice to people on kids, when they don't have kids themselves?

[MK1997]

I feel it's ignorant and silly.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You can either have advice from someone speaking from the perspective of the parent, or advice from someone speaking from the perspective of the child. Parents cannot go back to the latter perspective.


A great example: there was a woman who attended a kind of PTA meeting where parents can discuss certain methods to handle parenting (parenting is hard, it takes a village, all that) and she was the youngest person on the board and the only one without children. When someone posed the question regarding the ethics of reading their child’s diary out of fear that they might be doing something harmful, all of the board members agreed it wasn’t totally right but ultimately in the child’s best interest to invade their privacy. She shut that down immediately, saying that was the quickest way to lose your child’s trust in the parent. She knew this because she had depression as a child, and caught her mother reading her diary that she used as an emotional vent for her own thoughts. Once that privacy was invaded, she never did it again and refused to trust her mother until she was an adult and independent and they had mended their relationship through therapy. She turned the entire conversation around and changed a lot of minds because she was able to speak from the perspective of the child and not the concerned parent.


When regarding the best interests of the child, parents can’t always rely on other parents to help make that decision as they can’t think from that perspective as easily as someone without kids.

[MK1997]

That's one kids perspective. It doesn't represent how other kids would feel in that situation. She also had depression which adds a different context to it.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It also explains why a parent would go looking. Their kid is depressed, they want to make sure they’re not self-harming because it’s not like their child will tell them.

[MK1997]

I guess in that specific scenario the advice would be applicable

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yeah, it’s an example. There’s nothing wrong with seeking multiple solutions for a single problem, and sometimes that requires multiple points of view

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

multiple solutions and multiple perspectives, this ☝🏼

[SweetPi]

On here it seems like not to many ask for this advice... However on social media much different story and usually the advice is very bad toxic and does more harm then good. Also it makes the mom feel worthless and dumb insulting her which affects her decisions and she wants to rely on the bad social media choices more!

So toxic and silly. People arrogantly ignore the truth saying what ever to these parents.

It's how we got woke CBD oil parents who kids have high anxiety and never touch grass.

[Friendlybro79]

I don't have kids and the only time I chime in is when I talk from a kids perspective when I was parented but not in the form of like I know how to parent. Like for ex if someone says you should hit your kids when they're bad. I might chime in and say from personal experience as a child here's how it affected me. Something like that.

I watch my nephews for a few hours and I'm shot so I don't think I can tell a parent how to parent. If a parent values my opinion as a human being and asks me for advice, I will try my best to be understanding that I really don't know what it's like but I'll do my best to imagine. I also don't pretend that I know I can help for sure. I'll just try only when asked.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

There is even a bigger problem than that. Parents know that upbringing is THE DEFINITIVE judgmental area where there is a constant influx of people, with or without kids, giving:

• shitty advice based on moral views that aren't even questioned
• unsolicited advice when you just talk about your kids
• abstract reasoning without practice, theories out of the blue
• instinctive advice based on tradition
• etc

If you think politics or religion was the main clashing point between people, then you are not a parent, or you are, but then in a cavern. Parents in general don't give better advice than others, they just have practice, but they are opinionated like everyone else.

[SamIam96]

There are soooo many people on this site that answer questions that they know nothing about.

Childless people answer questions about children. Single people opine about marriage. Guys answer questions about women's periods. To their credit, women rarely answer penis questions.

It's not wrong for people to show their ignorance, but it's annoying to sort through all those garbage opinions.

[Finchie40]

Most people in general just like to try to rub their 2 cents together and act like they know everything when really they know shit , so just ignore them , we live in a judgmental world and sadly that’s just how it is , we all aren’t going to agree on everything ,

[lightbulb27]

yes, that's a valid point in general... it be more useful to have some "experience gauges" so people could judge the value of the opinion they got.

I especially like when people whove never dated comment on relationships. You have to take it for what it's worth...

[whiskeyontherocks]

No kids but growing up in a large family means I have more experience than a only child with a first born or some insight on a situation.
Honestly I normally don’t answer questions that someone already has a opinion on because I’m not going to change there mind and I don’t like to judge given, I don’t have all the details.

[MK1997]

I agree with the second bit especially

[superchan2011]

Kind of. It's like how can you give advice on something that you have No experience in. That's like me thinking I can tell you how to play hockey when I've never played hockey a day in my life.

[MK1997]

Exactly

[Daniela1982]

My sister has 4 kids so I think I know a little bit about them. However I don't think I comment much on kids.

[katiesmuff]

There isn't anyone on here giving advice to anyone that should be taken totally seriously!

[Red_Arrow]

No. A lot of that advice is good. Besides, man on here with kids give crappy advice.

[MK1997]

Lol why is it good

[Red_Arrow]

Because the advice is better for raising kids than a lot given by people with kids. It teaches the kids good from bad and how to choose friends that will be good for them.

[MK1997]

What can they know if they are not a parent?

[MK1997]

They are just assuming

[Crimsyjo]

Haha yeah thos reminds me of my opinions before i had kids 😄 so easy to say u will never smack, never get angry, be this perfect parent treating your child like a perfect little mini adult. So easy to presume children will act logically. And they really don't. And there's no manual. What worked for your first may be completely wrong for your second.
I just do the best i can how I want to do it and hope somehow they can sort out their lives when old enough to actually know what they want! Cos kids will blame you if you do something and still blame you if you don't. There's no winning lol.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Seconding Crimsy, fantasy and reality are EXTREMELY different when it comes to many things, including parenting lol

[Red_Arrow]

They are not just assuming. They can see what is working with others. And many people with kids give bad advice as people can see by how the kids of those people turned out badly.

[In_Trance]

I'm not sure how that's any different than people giving advice on dating when they've been single their whole life.
Not really sure what it's ignorant of either

[MK1997]

They are both ignorant

[In_Trance]

Ignorant of what?

[Fireguy17]

well, I have seen many examples of bad parenting done on a daily basis from people that have kids.

[slatyb]

They have all been children so they have some experience.

[BoobMan]

That's a pretty limited view of the world that ONLY people with kids can give advice to people. Why would you even think that makes sense?

[kellytheman]

Yeah I do feel stupid giving advice on kids since I don’t have kids. I do have a niece but yeah she isn’t mine and not really raising her.

[jahaims]

A coach doesn't have to play the sport to know how it's played

[MK1997]

Lol completely different

[DrPepper12]

Not wrong. They have opinions too. Just consider the source.

[msc545]

You don't need to have children in order to know things about them.

[MK1997]

You don't know what it's like to be a parent though

[noohair]

We were all children once, some have never grown up. lol... lol...

[OddBeMe]

I sometimes reply, tho I always admit I don’t have children.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes I Agree with you

[strateguy632]

But we were kids.

[Pete671]

Good to hear any opinions imho,

[MK1997]

Disagrees. Some opinions are stupid

[Pete671]

No opinion is stupid, imho,,,

[Shortkay4568]

Seriously eyy. 68 year old men wanting to F me

[Fromdusktilldawn]

such an npc thing to say

[DerekC321]

Some guys hide it

[BLP11520]

I raised 2 sons so I help if I can

[CVNT5]

no 😅

[JoeRob67]

I agree 100%