Why doesn't my self-hatred go away?

[Anonymous]

My mother and father separated when I was little, I could not see my mother for years, I spent most of my childhood and adolescence without my mother, I lived with my older brother, sister and father. My sister always made fun of me and my father was an indifferent father. I'm a senior in college and no one approached me because I wasn't pretty or attractive. I don't see myself as beautiful, attractive or successful. I lived my life with great anger. I was angry at girls who were better than me because I was inferior to them and they were superior to me. I feel so inferior. I can't love myself, I'm begging, don't tell me to love yourself anymore, I can't love myself because no one loves me. Because I cannot experience my womanhood, I will live with great anger and deficiency throughout my life and I will die in pain.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I will tell you why it won't go away. It is because you haven't got it out of your system. If it is possible, you need to confront your sister and your father and speak about it to finally put closure on that part of your life.. Until you do? You will keep on believing you are not worthy!

[Asker]

This is not possible, I will not accept this even after 20 years, because a person can never love himself if he does not have even one person around him who loves and respects him. I can't face my sister and father because I don't have the strength. I suffered a lot, I am suffering, I will suffer.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Are you prepared to accept suffering as a matter of fate, or do you want to take back control of your life? I ask because unless you want it badly enough you will never be able to. do so.

[Asker]

I am so desperate

[TommyMountainFigure]

Would it help if you had someone to talk to in private that promises never to judge you?

[Asker]

Is there anyone like this?

[TommyMountainFigure]

<< Offering to listen to you vent if you think it would help!

[NamerOfStars]

Because you see yourself as unlovable. If you want that to change, and you're inherently discontent with the person you believe yourself to be, the logical course of action is to change yourself; to make alterations until you become the kind of person you DO see as worthy of love.

Think out which traits you see as praiseworthy, and emulate them until they become part of who you are.

[Anonymous]

Probably because you have settled into living this way and thinking about yourself, now it’s all that you know, since you’ve done it for so long.

[Asker]

I am so desperate

[Opinion Owner]

Think about it like this, you didn’t get this state of mind overnight, it took time to develop so it’s gonna take time and work to undo. But you can get there, especially if have help, like therapy.

[IslaTheWitch]

ask a specialist for help... you need a therapy... those problems and thoughts won't disappear on their own

[DrPepper12]

You need counseling. Substitute religion for upbringing

[jahaims]

You are emotionally immature