What would you tell to a suicidal person?

[Anonymous]

I don't know if you had a person you loved that have been gone like that but people generally says that they had no idea that person was suicidal or would do sth like that. That's the saddest part in my opinion. If you had known before, what would you say to that person? I mean it doesn't have to be super moral but I'm curious about your last things to say to that person.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

My mom was apparently suicidal for most of my life and I never knew. Had I known, 10 year old me would have probably cried and begged her not to die because I loved her so much (most versions of myself would have gone that route). This can help, but it also just guilts them into staying alive. Someone who wants to die often genuinely believes that they’re hated, they’re horrible, they’re unworthy of love, etc. and they also value the sense of control in knowing that dying would be their decision. That feeling of losing control in your life and gaining it back by deciding when, where, and how you die can be very seductive. A lot of times, people just need permission to know they can stay, they need someone to tell them “I love you and I need you” and they need to believe it.
Personally, I would recommend suicidal folks sober up. My mother said the suicidal thoughts didn’t stop until she stopped drinking. Substances like alcohol can contribute to these kinds of thought patterns as it naturally depresses your immune system.
I know I couldn’t stop someone from killing themselves if they were set on it. And the most I could do is remind them that suicide is not only a selfish act but an incredibly damaging one. I would ask them if it’s about control, if it’s about having something to comfort them in the moment of stress to think about how they could just die and all their problems would be over. At that point, it’s just learning to reframe control from every outward source such as politics, relationships, etc. to inward sources such as emotions and trauma and singular actions. We can’t control other people, no matter how much we might want to. Control is little more than a satisfactory illusion that comforts us, but when it comes to our own actions it’s a reality. That’s comforting in its own right, I think.

[Asker]

I see that you had the struggle with your mom. It is such a huge responsibility for a kid who has a suicidal mom. I said responsibility, because I know children most of the times tend to think every problem around is their mistake. You must have tried to cheer her up and help her a lot, and I mean it, it matters. It matters a lot to have a person genuinely love and care about you. You are so mature and wise. Thank you for your answer, reading it was like a teraphy. I hope you and your mom are doing very well, sending love and respect💁🏻‍♀️🌺♥️♥️

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I had no idea she was suicidal as a kid. She didn’t tell me until she was much better and 10+ years sober when I was well into my 20’s. But my mom is a good woman, and an amazing, loving mother. That was the only mother I knew as a child

[TonyMetal___86]

I'll help them and stop them from committing suicide, i have my own ways depending on each situation...

99% of the people whom i met who were suicidal are women!

Thank god i did great in changing their minds and some were just so stubborn till the point where i was just going to leave them to do whatever they want but i couldn't, thank god till now i have never failed!

[Asker]

Woww, how did you achieve that?

[TonyMetal___86]

By talking to them and convincing them, but i was surely telling them the truth...

[Asker]

Weren't they romantically attached to you? I mean that might be a problem.

[TonyMetal___86]

Maybe i don't know what's in their mind...
What's important is that they are alive 🙂

[McLlovin]

Life sucks sometimes but if you wait a little longer you will get to the good part. Life is like a movie there’s the sad part that makes you cry but if you wait and dont walk out on the movie, you will get to the good part

[Asker]

That's a good one

[Enes38]

I think life is worth living no matter what and nothing is worth suicide.
Whatever the problem is, we can overcome it, just hold my hands and let's overcome the difficulties together.

[Asker]

That's so kind.

[Enes38]

If you really have problems, if you want to talk, I will try to help.

[Pterodon]

Depends on the situation. If it was over manipulation I’d tell them to get after it