Can guys remain "just friends" with a girl who is nice AND attractive?

[Mystique01]

I think the title says it all! lol!

Can guys continue to be "just friends" with a girl if she's not only nice, but also attractive? Or, will there always be some sexual tension between them?

Do guys find it hard to continue seeing a girl as just a "friend" if she's nice, and also attractive? Or is there more to it?

Updates

+1 y

AWESOME! My question got a video response! Cool! Thanks Matt & Tamsen! :-D

[icecreamlover]

this is a controversial topic. I think a guy and girl cannot be just friends until they get over the sexual tension or overcome any initial feelings that may arise, because the only reason we approach guys or guys approach us to be 'friends' is because there is a certain attraction, it can be looks, it can be because we think theyre interesting or something new in the crowd, its like a book you just wanna open up to read and see what its all about.so lets say because of that attraction a guy and girl do become friends, its up to time and fate and them too to see if they can develop into feelings and can lead to dating.

the guys and girls who are truly JUST FRIENDS I would say it is become they have overcome those initial very first feelings of attraction.may be they weren't the one they were looking for, or didn't turn out to be as mindblowing as they thought.or simply just not their type.and the friendship came more in handy then they thought.

one guy friend I had also told me that a guy would approach a girl for one out of two reasons:

1.) he is attracted to her, wants to know her, see what she's all about, as a potential for a girlfriend or more even.depends where the friendship goes.he even said looks isn't everything, he met this hot girl one time and approached to her to meet her introduce himself, but after talking to her, he was turned off because she was boring slow and not that interesting.

and 2.) he wants to use that girl in some way. Use as in, she can serve some advantage to him, for girl talk, advice, galpal, get academic advice support, homework help, or make the girl he really likes jealous by playing mind games that the galpal is something more.in this case, they would be only friends.and benefit each other somehow.

hope this helps! took me years to figure out too!

[marth]

This is so true... seems this way in my experience, like you start out either fully or almost acting on the feelings, and at that point, when it doesn't work out, if both people are on the same page then a friendship can be. It's like, the attraction is out of the way and then there's just the friendship

[Mellene]

Yes, guys can be friends with nice girls, because if the guy is not attracted to a girl it will be fine. For that if the girl wants to be ONLY FRIENDS she will find the way for guy to respect her as a friend (in time) and than can flirt and have fun together as a friends only, but can never know what guys think - they can always hide that little feeling because of the respect to a girl.

OR friendship can be soooo strong that nor of them (guy and girl) will think about attraction.

It pretty much depends how girl/guy seeing their friendship, what are intentions and how much/what kind of effort they put in this.

[checkit88]

there will probably always be a little sexual tension, but if they're just friends, there's a reason why they never dated, especially if they hooked up in the past and decided against making it official. I have a male friend who is attractive and nice. We've hooked up in the past but I realize he is way to immature to be my boyfriend, so when I'm around him these days (it's been ages since we've hooked up) I don't feel anything. Plus, I have a boyfriend so I don't really feel the need to look at other guys that way.

[rejectionist]

With out a doubt! I do have to say that it was me asking them and not the other way around like you're thinking and hoping it was.Friends are important to have.Especially attractive ones. I guess you like most woman think that all guys are just dogs butts in heat.Maybe in your circle you have to many leg humpers with one track minds.Try getting out and meeting some real people that have lives and think of sex as part of a loving relationship and not the only thing to talk about all the time.You'd be amazed.

[rrrob]

the way I see it,

if a guy meets a girl and at first she seems interested, but then a few weeks later she just wants to be friends, its difficult because there was some sexual tension but now thur is no longer, so a casual distant friendship is bestsuited,

but if guy meets girl, neither is sexualy interested in each other from the start, then they can much more easily become good/close friends, sort of like the same way brothers don't fancie thier sisters.

[funky909]

in my opinion

it is really hard to keep (just friends) with her unless that you are in love with another girl

so that way the gap is filled and it cannot be replaced easily

but when a guy, still single, not in love, and he meet this nice and attractive lady, it gonna be hard for him to be only a friend and not having any feelings for her

[black-butterfly]

theres nothing wrong with having guys as friends. I have a friend and he's a guy me and him dated but ened it and became friends. their still sexual tension with us but I control myslef but he doesn't keeps talking about us getting back togetheter. and he has a girlfrien.thats y I ignor him because I can't be friends with him if he doesn't want to be friends with me.sumtimes guys always want more than a friendship. it's like the saying can't have ur cake and eat it too. guys always want the friendshipo but want more to the friendship.i have a lot of guy friends and they tell me everything that goes on with them and their girl and what men want from a women.

[martyfellow]

Of course there;s always sexual tension between a man and a woman unless we're talking about gays or the like. Which is of course why a lot of women pal around with them and even sleep with them...in spite of AIDS and all the rest.

That doesn't mean guys can't be friends with an attractive girl; but no one should kid themselves about what is going on...

[sings22]

No. I honestly truly believe that guys can NEVER be just friends with a girl who is not only nice, but attractive too. I only say this because this has happened to me at least half a dozen times with my old guy friends. they would start by just being friends with me, then make a comment or two or flirt, then they would tell me how they felt about me, I would be honest and tell him I only see them as a friend. They would accept that, still remain friends with me, but occasionally bring up their feelings.

The clincher to all of this is that once they got a girlfriend..i would no longer exist in their world. the gfs would either get jealous or protective and not want their boyfriend (my close friends) to hang out with me, or the guy would just drop me as a friend completely.

lessons learned. never get too close to the opposite sex if you're not planning on getting together in the end.

[Riles]

Yes, we can be friends, but there will ALWAYS be sexual tension if the girl is very attractive.

Seriously, ALWAYS.

But that shouldn't make the friendship any different unless the guy is shallow.

[-StillWater-]

Always?

[Riles]

Oh yeah. Always.

[da5id]

Yep listen to riles on this one

generally I don't see what the problem with sexual tension is however unless you find him repulsive and/or he doesn't step out of line...

[ConstantlyConfused]

But if there is ALWAYS sexual tension, and you already had a girlfriend who "fullfilled your needs", how do you deem that situation?

And I'm talking about a friend who is smoking hot! Hotter than your ACTUAL girlfriend.

What would that result in?

[Rayya]

I am both. Even though I am very clear in what I want in a relationship, guys usually stay away from me. I long for a guy friend who can care for me, be around me regardless of the sexual attraction. Not possible! Especially guys who are compatible with me and share a lot in common. So it really depends on the guy's age and personality. I am married and I have guy friends who are either younger than me or a lot older. The more a girl finds a guy attractive, charming and dashing the difficult it is for the guy to just be friends with her! Girls have more control over themselves, it's biological.

[eSHkidd]

I'm single and have a friend that's a girl who we are really close, and she's super nice, and very attractive and were "just friends". We hold hands sometimes, hug, and she'l sit on my lap alot, but were wed never be together. I'm sure its like way in the back of our minds of us getting together, but really its just playful sexual tension

[Orion]

I've said this once and I'll say it again A guy can ABSOLUTELY be just friends with a girl, It just takes him understanding that he has no chance in hell with her. I mean seriously if a guy couldn't be friends with a girl do you know how much pain and suffering that would cause? Yeah sure we may want it to happen and have it some where in the back of our minds but we'd rather at least be close if we really care at all.

[j-yoseph]

matters who the guy is, if a girl is nice and pretty I might not like her for other reasons actualy just being nice doesn't cause that much atraction and there are beautiful women everywhere so yes I could be just freinds with a girl who is nice and pretty even if she comes onto me because I want a girl who is smart, confident, mature, knows herself and the world around her, and someone I have a lot in common with and I won't settle for anythhing less

[Blondie101]

Well depends what the guy is like.

Everyone always says I'm really pretty and I've had experience in both these situations.

One of my best friends was a boy but he told me straight he found me attractive and wanted a relationship with me. That was good because I felt the same way but I've been in that relationship now for 4 years. But before that my best friend was going out with my other best friend ( she was a girl ) lol. and he found me attractive and nice. He told me that but not me best friend. He kept coming onto me and he was a complete nob. So if this guy is a genually nice guy he will probably like you as a friend but then sometimes when you think it is that situation but actually he is in love with you because you are really nice. It is hard but everything usuaslly turns out fine.

[Kenny91]

I look at it this way...When you see a stunningly attractive female, that is nice and seems to have her situation together, to you sit they're and think..."Dang she would make a great friend!" or do you sit they're and think, " I wonder if I could take her on a date"... In my opinion guys never just want to be your friend, but if you put them in the friend zone they will be

[quantumdefender]

if a guy is in a realationship, and his needs are met, it is possible to view other women as "just friends"

but single men with needs, its just like stringing bait in front of a hungry animal.

nuff said.

[Blake26]

Yeah, you don't want to cuddle with the pandas, rawr! ha ha lol

[Anonymous]

Funny thing is my guy friends that I don't find attractive fall for me. I don't know if it's my kindness or sweet personality, I've tried being mean to no avail. I'm not drop dead gorgeous but I am pretty.

I never feel the tension though probably because I see them as just a friend. My sweetness probably comes off as them thinking I'm giving them indicators of interest 😅

[Anonymous]

Wow i didn't know niceness was a factor haha no wonder guys i don't want keep falling for me. I'm nice but not so much to guys I like like.

I noticed that I too fall for guys that are kind and attractive. It's real bad because some are just nice and have a girlfriend yet I feel like they actually care about me. Maybe they do as a friend but it makes me want more

[Blake26]

Yeah, it would definitely be hard. I wouldn't have a problem being friends, but it would be hard for a guy to not recognize her as just a friend when she has it all. Definitely be friends, but not a piece of cake.

[wils0722]

Guys can be friends with girls, but if the opportunity presents itself to go further, they will usually take it. Trust me. They don't find it difficult, and they certainly don't agonize over not being with you (normally), but remember, they are guys.

[regular-guy]

Yes. It is very likely there will be at least SOME sexual tension though, although not necessarily.

[Mystique01]

Hmm, so describe what you GUYS mean when you say "tension". Like, how does the guy act? What goes through your mind? Are there any ways you treat the girl differently if there is some "tension" between you two?

[regular-guy]

I would say tension is the underlying desire to progress the relationship in some way whether that is emotionally or physically or both.

[LeoTheDoge]

I think as long as one of you are in a relationship it's fine. (Unless the guy thinks your a turn off somehow)

[LivelyMind]

Nope , nope definitely isn't working that way in my situation ' always gunna want wht they desire or can't have ...

[mario123]

If I was in a situation like that I think there would be some tension

[Mystique01]

Hmm, describe what you GUYS mean when you say "tension". Like, how does the guy act? What goes through your mind? Are there any ways you treat the girl differently if there is some "tension" between you two?