Guys and girls, can you be just friends with someone attractive?

Question

They tick all the boxes of your dream person… but they don’t feel the same for you. But they’re okay to be friends. Will you be their friend or not?

SaidNobodyEver · Accepted Answer

I think I’ve only been friends with people I find attractive in some way. If I wasn’t attracted to the even in a platonic way I don’t think I would’ve been interested enough to hang around. But if she’s the perfect one I think I’d be dissatisfied with being friends. Watching her date would be torture and unfair. I’d have to shoot my shot.

Shadow_Monarch · Accepted Answer

Since it already happened, my answer is yes

DoggyDude · Answer

Until they see you as 'off limits' or they themselves become 'off limits' it will always be something more than a friendship and a genie kept in a bottle.

The direct answer though is, yes, certainly I do have friends who are very attractive that I am purely friends with; Though I don't spend a lot of time with them, and the reason we can remain just friends, is because their married or in a obviously good relationship already (meaning I don't see them much and when I do its usually just to pass pleasantries).

Any pair of attractive people attracted to each other (in any one directon or more) spending a lot of time together will tend, inevitably toward becoming romantically involved, given enough time and a good friendship as long as both sides are sufficiently motivated by said friendship.

NathanDavis · Answer

first, I will answer your first question... yes, I can be friends with someone attractive, some of my best friends are very attractive girls

the "explanation" of that is very simple... my best friend is very attractive, but my girlfriend at the time was also attractive, so I was in love with an attractive girl while I was also friends with another attractive girl... so, while my friend was very attractive, I was NOT ATTRACTED to her in that sense not as much as I was attracted and IN LOVE with my also attractive girlfriend, lol

and now, I will answer your second question, which is quite different... and the answer to that would most likely be no... because we are speaking about someone that is not only attractive, but she also has A WHOLE LOT MORE going on for her and those are all things that I find to be a must for me, or a dream scenario... so I think that I would not be able to ignore that all the time and pretend to be okay with just being friends... I do not like to pretend and I never pretend so I guess that I just would keep my distance just because I would not be able to be a genuine friend and nor she nor I would deserve something like that

alderoth · Answer

I have been friends with super attractive people and people I wasn't interested in. Looks only matter, or go, so far. People can be attractive, but if they are a terrible human, I can't put that aside, and have sex with them. If I am friends with someone I like, usually I tell them when I get the nerve, and if they say "no thanks", I tell them "okay, that's cool. I'm glad we can still be friends," and I just admire them from afar. Love is a deep genuine feeling that has you caring for someone no matter what or who they do. That's just me though. Everyone is different. Take care and be safe!!

normalice · Answer

Sure. Though that's impossible as a path to seduction is a major component of what I find attractive. Sexy looking women are pleasant to be around and so make perfectly fine friends so long as they aren't full of themselves, but I'm not really into them unless there is an obvious way to... get in to them. And my powers of observarion are pretty dull in this regard so when i say "obvious" I pretty much mean they stick their ass in my face more than twice (first time could be an accident, second a joke, but after that it's likely they mean it). But it's rare to find anyone at all, hot or not, that isn't full of themselves, so...

dynamicyandere · Answer

I believe I could… But, I would need some distance. I wouldn’t want to be seeing them all the time or interacting with them too much—that could cause a lot emotional pain.

I would wish them well and be good to them. I would want them to be happy and hope for the best for them. I would be protective of them.

I would want to be there for them because I care. It would hurt to see them with someone else. But, I would push my feelings aside and be happy for them so long as they are being treated really well.

They would have to be extremely important to me for me to do this though. We would need to have ready established a very strong bond.

Prof_Don · Answer

I could and I am right now.

Every female friend I have , has some major compatibility reason why we never dated.

Ex. doesn’t want kids, not emotionally attentive enough for my needs, not wanting marriage, age gap, religious differences, sexual incompatibility (ex. bisexual, swinger, etc.), family cultural incompatibility, etc.

People operate differently in a relationship dynamic than a friendship dynamic. So a straight guy that has female friends he thinks are cute, is feasible while staying faithful to his partner.

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

No
If I’m interested I’m all in or not at all and if she doesn’t feel the same I will not be able to just be friends. Associates or acquaintances yes. Probably put up bigger boundaries so I don’t get stuck doing good boyfriend shit on a just friends relationship.
I watched a close friend get friend zoned and he was completely used and manipulated. Every time he started to pull away she would lead him on I learned from his experiences that you have to put up strong boundaries after rejection otherwise it can get out of hand you might even get caught up in her boyfriend drama but have nothing to do with it.
My opinion just don’t

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Most definitely yes.

I am not stupid enough to hope for her to see romantically. If she does not, then she does not. And the chances of the opp. thing are pretty low.

So, for girlfriend, I would look somewhere else. But it she wants, I can be friends with her.
No point in wasting time with her in the hope. Better go somewhere else.

hotwife98 · Answer

It would be difficult if in this scenario you had feelings for them that you couldn't get over.

Its immature to not accept something that you don't like, I think the average adult would be able to process that they aren't interested in you and you could transition your feelings from romantic to friends.

Tinana · Answer

Sure I’m friends with so many attractive people. I’m not interested in dating my friends. Plus I’m not sleeping with anyone just because they’re cute like what’s the point I don’t want a baby. It takes more than looks to attract me so I can definitely just be friends with an attractive guy

reelteen · Answer

Of course, you just have to maintain boundaries. My fiancee has flat out told me that I have some really pretty friends, but she isn't worried that I would cheat on her with them. They have been friends for a long time, and I never saw them as a potential partner.

mermaidcancermoon · Answer

Yes. Typically if I felt me and a guy werent compatible for a relationship, i would friend him. Looks aren't everything in a relationship. Someone can be an attractive dud and id never desire them outside of the friend zone.

I do not friend men that i want to date. Im not one for blurred lines.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Oh yeah, a lot of my friends are very attractive.

We're friends. Their looks don't matter to me as much as their personality and soul do.

And also, I don't know, maintaining platonic friendships is normal. Not everyone needs to be a romantic object.

Faith18letsgo · Answer

Yes, that being said I've had a crush on my best friend for at least 4 years. I told her but she's straight, we still cuddle, sleep in the same bed and make jokes about being together. It's the best kind of torture, so absolutely yes, but it will hurt.

Ευδεμονια · Answer

It’s really hard if I’m really attracted to that person, to the point I see her as a woman. I think I’d prefer to distance myself!
I had a friend that was very attractive to me and when I realised what I felt towards her, I had to distance myself from her for years, we lost contact. Now we’re friend again, since I contacted her, she’s always attractive but I don’t see her as a woman so it’s ok.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Attractive is different than your dream person. I could be friends with an attractive person if they didn’t like me that way. I don’t know if I could be friends with my dream person if they didn’t feel the same way about me. I hope I could but I’m just not sure.

HighValue · Answer

Most people can't. I can be friends with someone I find physically attractive if there is something that makes them updatable for me such as a bad past, doesn't want a compatible lifestyle, or if I am already taken then it would be easy because I would lose interest in them anyways.

Zeus_66 · Answer

Of course you can. One of my closest friends, who is like a sister to me, is an absolutely beautiful woman. I find her looks very attractive, but I was never attracted to her physically. I can't explain it, but our chemistry is friendship, and it will always be just that. My wife has known her as long as I have. She is a former roommate of ours when we all lived together in our early 20s. Amazing times!

Adronicus · Answer

No, why should men set themselves up for being friends with someone they're sexually attracted to? Women love to use men like this as an emotional tampon / financial support. A man like that is stupid for giving his time / energy away for nothing in return other than being used. A man's power is in his ability to walk away / set boundaries. Not being friends with women I'm attracted to is one of my boundaries.

fonduegirl · Answer

Of course. No means no. Friend zone sucks, but what you gonna do about it? Force them. I know some "nice guys" who become less available as soon as you tell them you're not looking for a date and are single. That's manipulative. And they wonder why women won't date them.

Wubs3000 · Answer

Yeah. I would say for friends who you are attracted too and like their personality, there will probably be a slight interest in them at least. That interest will stay until one of you rejects the other or you get together. (Or ofc one of you is already in a relationship)

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Lol i will be there but i won't say i will be there as a friend maybe as a well wisher.

What came we do lol it should always be two sides other wise no use but also you can't change your feelings for them.

Attraction can happen with face but to maintain it closeness is required

MikeInHawaii · Answer

Sure. It does get annoying, though, e we hen a woman who doesn’t want to go out with me cries on my shoulder, complains about how her boyfriend treats her, says she wishes he could be more like me, then goes and has sex with the guy she was crying about.

Micky26 · Answer

It's a complicated situation, but isn't it better to have them in your life in some way rather than none.
It is for me, and as for dating other people, it hurts at the beginning but I would want them to be happy, even if it's not with me.
( Speaking from experience).

McKellar · Answer

Here's a rhetorical question for you, can a guy just be good friends with a female Instagram model? Personally, I very much do highly doubt that. I would be amazed if that were to be possible, but realistically... for the most part of things, I can't see that happening.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes I can. At one point the answer was no when I younger and immature while in college but as I matured and experienced more life I can testify honestly there are women out here in abundance and very pretty with cool personalities.

You just have to go out and you will be exposed to a lot of different women to choose from instead of just focusing on one that you think its "amazing" but the reality is they have flaws just like everyone else.

Kaytiee · Answer

Obviously, a lot of my female friends or male friends are attractive, but I don't feel the need to stray from my partner... especially since I know my friends personalities and we wouldn't work out in a relationship.

Sonorous · Answer

Not if was a serious crush or anything. It would have to be more casual.. Like "I'd be dtf of you were, but since you aren't, it's cool. We can still have other common interests that don't involve uh.. That.."

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Sure.. my definition of a friend is someone who will be there for me if I need them (and vice versa)  How attractive they may or may not be is irrelevant.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

No, that attraction won't go away and I'll start feeling jealous when she mentions her new boyfriend and I'll sure as hell go ballistic when she invites me to her wedding.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I definitely could cause my conversational energy is wider and broader than my visual or sentimental energy, so long as it’s just a crush and not love.

Marshymallow · Answer

Why would I be just friends with someone I fancy? For me if we’re just friends then you’re completely friend-zoned.

AnnaTumbles · Answer

I've been friends with a few attractive girls and guys before , and we are still 'just friends' , so ig its possible haha

Cherry234 · Answer

I've tried it several times before and it didn't work out. I should only be friends with men I'm not attracted to. It's for the better.

Crafteroon · Answer

If you can think of them just as friends, anything is possible. But if you are still trying to get with them while being their friend, you're just being a shitty friend.

Still-alive · Answer

with someone i find attractive and want to date... i can't. If i feel no attraction i can.

MysticDevice · Answer

Doin it right now and its working perfectly. I get that its not a very common thing but I lucked out and me and this girl are best friends with no romantic tension at all. It is purely platonic.

skeetskeetskeet · Answer

Guys are only friends with girls they would like to fuck... girls do the same

iSlipKnot · Answer

No, not really friends. A friend is a very loose term where exs and love/sexual interests get wrapped up. I don't think true friendship is based on attractiveness, which is why I think it's best to befriend those you don't have sexual intentions for.

Sarahr123 · Answer

Yes I can be. There are a lot of good looking men in the world but doesn’t mean I want them all.

Guccigabbana18 · Answer

If they don't like me back then they aren't my dream person. So yes of course.

Lynzerilee · Answer

Probably not, that would be too difficult, especially seeing them with other people.

RedStealthOperative · Answer

I will NOT be there friend! Too much of a tease from the universe.

Dinklex3 · Answer

If i liked them as more than a friend, then no i would not be their "friend" lol.

roy_ricky09 · Answer

It's a difficult position for 1 person always. As much as one denies somewhere those feelings come up. It's better not to friends friends, but can stay in touch.

beebella · Answer

Yeah. In those cases, I usually get over them after a while anyway.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Easily! I CAN'T be attracted to a woman who isn't attracted to me. I don't care how attractive she is. It's kind of required.

MrPickles13 · Answer

Yes I'd say som my best friend is attractive and has a lot of personality traits and such that would make them a good partner howeverr we are both just friends we have no interest in that changing.

YashRaj53 · Answer

Actually we can. But to be honest it's hard af. Especially if you're damn close to them... like very close friend. It really difficult to get your mind off those sweet little romantic thought about that person 😅

Babygirl_S · Answer

I have male friends who are attractive. I just admire them secretly while most of them have asked me out. I think it's harder for men.

Luopio27 · Answer

In the past yes, but not anymore. I dont have any more female friends. I just got bored of all of them.

one1wild00 · Answer

Sure, but if they decide for more then I'd move forward given neither them or me status hadn't changed.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

girls always tell their boyfriends or husbands that we are just friends so yeah. we are just friends. *wink

neoagent1 · Answer

Being friends with the opposite sex requires no attraction at all. If there's any attraction then you're not going to just want to be friends.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

For me it would be hard to see someone as just a friend if they ticked all the right boxes for me to want to date them.

PolarDip · Answer

If they're my dream person I would probably always want more than friendship, if they're just an attractive female friend then yes.

EarthRealm · Answer

I’m not Interested in Having Sex Or Masterbating. I Have lost That Desire completely.

anylolone · Answer

I can, nowdays the hard part isn't trying not to bang them, but meeting them at regular times to talk and hang out, lol!

KeithLane · Answer

I can sit in the background and be a friend but my mind is all over her. I can do it but it is not by choice.

GrapeApe98 · Answer

Sure you can. Just because your dream mate turns you down, doesn't mean you still can't just hang out with them.

Guys and girls, can you be just friends with someone attractive?

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