Okay, I'm SUPER confused, after dating my boyfriend for a year and 3 months. He won't take pictures with me and I'm not included in his Facebook life. I am not overly focusing on Facebook situation but it has a lot to do with how weird/shady he is about the whole picture taking deal. I once posted a picture of us together(which is the ONLY picture of us together) and tagged him. A few weeks later, he deleted it. When I asked him why he deleted it, he denied it at first and then said maybe he deleted it 'accidentally.' Come on... I'm not stupid. Also had some ex-girlfriend issues, too. He keeps in contact with all of his ex-girlfriends(they are all whores in my book, even my boyfriend admitted about a few of them being sluts). He says they're just 'friends.' Yeah, right! That's why he flirts with them and talks to them on a regular basis via Facebook chat/message and text messages. Now, I know that he is not cheating on me but this is so annoying. I need an explanation. Is it because he wants to appear single? Is he just a private type of person? He won't even hold my hand in public, says it makes him feel uncomfortable. Like, seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS HIS DEAL? I know he's afraid of commitment(obviously) and very immature for him age, but I just wanna make sure that this is something I can overlook - one more question, am I overthinking or is my gut feeling right? :(
It's a question we've all asked ourselves at one point or another in our relationships: why won't my partner take pictures with me? And while there may not be a single, clear-cut answer to this question, there are a few possible explanations.
One possibility is that your partner simply isn't comfortable being in front of the camera. This isn't necessarily a reflection on you or your relationship - some people are just more camera-shy than others. If this is the case, it's important to respect your partner's wishes and not push them to do something they're not comfortable with.
Another possibility is that your partner is worried about how they look in photos. This is especially common if your partner is self-conscious about their appearance or has body image issues. If this is the case, try to be understanding and supportive. Reassure your partner that you love them no matter what they look like, and offer to take pictures together in a setting where they feel comfortable (e. g., at home, in nature, etc.).
Finally, it's possible that your partner simply isn't that into taking pictures. This doesn't mean they don't love you - some people are just more visual than others and prefer to capture memories in their own mind rather than through photos. If this is the case, try not to take it personally. Instead, focus on creating experiences together that you can both enjoy and look back on fondly.
No matter what the reason, it's important to remember that your partner's decision to not take pictures with you doesn't reflect on your relationship. If you're feeling hurt or rejected, talk to your partner about how you're feeling. They may not even be aware of how their refusal to take pictures is affecting you. Communication is key in any relationship, so open and honest conversation is the best way to resolve this issue.
My now ex-bf wouldn't take pics with either and that pretty much summed up how much he cared about our relationship. He eventually stopped paying attention to me so I broke it off. But throughout the relationship guys kept hitting on me and didn't believe I had a boyfriend for months. He finally agreed on our first Valentine's day & on one of our anniversaries so I was finally able to post 1 or 2 pics of us together. That finally stopped all the guys trying to hit on me in my DMs. I was mostly offended because our memories meant a lot to me and he was acting like he didn't want to be seen with me. I am not one to even post that much on social media so he didn't even have that to worry about. I just wanted them for us primarily. When a local girl my age died, her boyfriend of 3 months made a slideshow of their memories. I swear they had over a years worth of memories together and had pictures of those moments. I realized after 2 years, I would never have that with my then boyfriend and if something happened we'd only have those 2 pics together.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Oh girl I'm sorry:( let me share my experience. I dated this guy for about 7 months and we were really in love. He ended up asking me to marry him and of course I said yes. The only problem was that he had to return to his home country prior to the wedding. I thought no big deal, but then fishy things started happening. For example, I tried to change my relationship status but he never accepted it. I asked him about it and he said he never got a notification. I let it go, but then on Valentine's Day when I posted a cute pic of us on his timeline I noticed that it was removed after a few hours. When I asked him about it he said he looked bad in the pic. Only two things, and he liked/ commented on all my pics so no biggy right? Wrong. Turns out he was cheating on me the whole time. When I asked him about it he blocked me on everything. Of course I was curious so I kinda stalked the other girl's facebook. And what did I find? Her relationship status changed to taken with my ex boyfriend. Turns out there was nothing wrong with notifications at all
Some people don't like taking pictures, you didn't mention how he is about taking pics of just himself. And many people don't do PDAs including holding hands. I don't do PDAs it's just uncomfortable to me. What you need to do is ask him out right what's going on but make sure you're prepared for the answer. There may be nothing going on he just isn't a pic or PDA guy. How does he treat you how about his friends and family with you how is he with you around them, that's where your answers. If he is off standish and acts more like you two are buddies around his family and friends. You're just his for now person, but if they know you two are really together, then why worry about pics. Memories are what matters pictures can go up in flames, be ruined in floods, be deleted, memories are forever!!!
it seems that because he's lacking consent in most decisions you're making, you're slowly falling into stress induced eh... i dont know of a good word, so sorry for using the wrong one: paranoia. the many reasons for why he doesn't wanna post a pic of you both together completely runs out of my grasp, as i can't read his mind... it seems like its a important thing to you, so why not have a chat? if communication is hard, then demanding stuff might not seem like the right approach. hell, he might even be that sort of person, and you're basically trying to change him, which will be stressful in both ways. but in the end, all that shit boils down to a single aspect: are you still enjoying this relationship? it kinda seems like its a source of labor/stress in your life, rather than something that is making you happy (like its suposed to be). it seems you're being forceful and he's being shady and in denial. maybe its time to move on? dont put this need for a relationship before your mental/emotional health.
hmm seems sketchy to not post pictures together...now I'm not saying that this is the case but I do know one girl who WILL NOT take pictures when she is out, UNLESS its with her girlfriends...
why does she do that? she has 2 dudes...she goes out with one sleeps with him then goes out the next night with the other and sleeps with him...thats her case and the only reason I can see for why someone doesn't want to be "public"
my advice is simple, if you have to keep a relationship, whatever kind it may be, a secret...then its certainly not worth being in
another note - are there pictures with him with his ex's or other girls? are you two labled as boyfriend/girlfriend on fb with your names tied to one another?
The photo thing and the ex girlfriends thing are two completely separate issues. For many women (and men!) stealing/cheating with someone else's boyfriend is a turn on, so they wouldn't stop flirting with him just because he has a girlfirend, on the contrary! Plus you both admited they are sluts so... If anything, not posting a picture of you two together makes them loose interest.
Second, maybe he doesn't post pictures of you two together because he likes his privacy? Even if he shares other things about his live, maybe he wants to keep his love life private, it's as simple as that.
Be straight forward with him and stop opressing this inside you. Have a talk, maybe your overthinking, us woman tend to combine every negative aspect of the relationship, for example; he deleted the picture on fb and doesn't approve taking those? haven't you wondered that he is just a guy who wants to keep his private life forhimself? and you can't say he is flirting with his ex's via msg's until you have proof. i have a male friend who still friends with his ex and they're even on good terms! so don't overthink it, my advice for you is talk to him, save some time ^^
Before I even mention anything I know a lot of people will say “just because he doesn’t post you that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.” That’s complete bs because I know for a fact this is the 21st century and when we’re in love with someone and happy to have them we will be willing to show them off to let the world know they’re off the market.
I’m to myself with my business and everything I deal with when it comes to me. I can be dating someone for awhile and once it’s exclusive I will definitely put it out there maybe a picture and a little caption. If he’s not showing you off at least one picture come on that won’t hurt.
I am not sure about this one. Though I have to say it shows something. Maybe they are ashamed of you, or not willing to show you two are together. Something iffy for sure.
I came to think of this, not that it necessarily helps you or is much related to this question: I had a group of friends where we used to take group pictures, but one girl in the group always refused to be in the picture even though she posted a lot of group photos with other friends.
When I stopped hanging out with that group they started to post group photos where that one girl was too.
I think she never liked me. She once told me I was her hippiest friend. (I have never heard anyone else call me a hippie - I am just artistic)
Wait he flirts with his ex’s and you think that’s not cheating. Your obviously not okay with him talking to his ex’s so why allow it? What’s the reason for him to be in contact with his ex? That’s not normal and I was cheating on a guy I was with for 2 years I cheated on him all through the 2 years and refused to take pictures incase my other mans ever saw the picture. And I kept in contact with my ex’s while I was with him because I was meeting up with them Too. He sounds exactly like me and it’s not the same with everyone but it’s likely. I mean which man wouldn’t take pictures with their girlfriend? He’s clearly cheating or he’s just not into you
Sounds like he doesn't see a future with you. Like you're a fun "now" kind of woman, but not one he wants all of his relatives and close friends to hassle him with "is she the one, are you going to settle" kind of questions. Sounds like he's not ready to consider dealing with the pressure. he's not even considering "well, maybe..." Ithink it's age related and commitment related. Sorry. I'd start putting a time limit on him if you are ready and looking to settle/ do the marriage and kids things. Of not, then just let it go cuz you can only ask for what you're ready to give
Sorry but he is trash and you are too dumb to leave his ass.
Girl. Remember, there are many guys on this world and I bet you will find something better than a fuckboy. Because in my book. If a guy is that stupid to get into a relationship with sl#ts (you said his exes were sluts) he is a just a little boy that doesn't know how to deal with a woman. You are 30-35. At this age you should look for men. Not for stupid boys. Why? Because You get nothing from them. If you told him what hurts you and makes you unconfortable and he does it again. It means he doesn't give a f#ck about what you feel.
Tell him to prove he wants you to stay with him by putting up picture of you two and making the relationship public, if he won’t do that, ask him why and tell him how you feel about all this, if he doesn’t budge, then break up with him because your gut feeling might be right.
Honestly, the guys who are saying the guy has a side chick are most likely right. Been there, done that. Your situation is sending red flags. Go and put him on the spotlight. Ask him about what you are feeling. Make him prove that he isn't if he rejects what he is doing.
How do you know he is not cheating? Seems very sketchy to me. Sounds like he wants as much as he can without anyone knowing. Not take pics, no hand holding out. I know people have quirks, but when a guy WANTS to be with you only, they hold your hand, put their arm around you, etc to show other guys to back off. And lets other girls know he's taken. He's doing none of that.
Beautiful Couple. I wonder If this Guy with no Try Knows how Lucky he is. My assumption as Master of it All, He doesn't Want and Is NOT Ready this Eddy to Have to Explain you to any EX or even Friends. I don't think that is a Healthy so-called "Real Relationship." Think Twice, You too Nice. xxoo
just put up with this for a year. I finally dumped his sorry ass. It's not healthy to not feel number one in his book. He is definitely seeing other people. I found out the hard way. Fuck having to hide. A man who is really in love with you will want to tell the world not hide you.
He reminds me of my ex (i. e., no taking photos/posting them, not liking the ones I tagged him in, keeping in contact with exes, not holding my hand... etc.). I think you should leave him and find a better guy. I dated my ex for 1.7 years, and I found out he had been cheating and flirting with girls from his past/new girls. You deserve better, trust me. This is shady behavior, and it’s unfair to you.
This has nothing to do with immaturity or afraid of commitment. When you have a girlfriend as a guy and you don't like to be sticky on the internet, you still don't have a problem with a photo where you are tagged in. If you're sure that he doesn't cheat and talks to his exes, I just think he likes talking to another girls and to appear single. I think this has something to do with his immaturity then..
Okay, you are too gorgeous for this crap. You deserve someone who will make you feel comfortable, and if you have concerns that he brushes off because of his own personal reasons, you need to tell him to get his shit together, or you're done. Like seriously.
Seriously? "That's why he flirts with them and talks to them on a regular basis via Facebook chat/message and text messages. Now, I know that he is not cheating on me but this is so annoying."
Yes it is cheating. He most likely IS cheating. And the reason he doesn't include you on his social media is because he is HIDING YOU. Seriously, wake up. He's not taking you seriously and is still hung up on one or more exes. Dump his ass.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Always trust your gut. There are way too many suspicious issues popping up. One or two issues maybe you can explain away, but with this many I would seriously consider if this is the crap you can put up with for the rest of your life. If not, then why stay with him?
Maybe military, their are personal reasons, Internet is evil, you don't want full facial and profile defining images of yourself online, it's just not what you should do. So you are wrong for wanting your life to be public, and he is right in my books. So unfortunately I will take your partners side in this argument.
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