Why won't my boyfriend ever take pictures of or with me?

[Anonymous]

• So.. my boyfriend and I have lived together for 3 years, been together for about 4 years. He used to post me on his snapchat all the time when we first started seeing each other, but the last few years, nothing! When we moved in together, didn't even post about that. My birthday or our anniversarys? Nothing. And on the rare occasion when I do get him to take a picture with me, he just looks so annoyed and bothered by it, and I don't even bother posting them anymore. And I'm positive he's not seeing somebody else, we have the same work schedule and spend all of our free time together, never away from each other (but I still worry). I've brought up that it bothers me and makes me worry he's hiding me or embarrassed of me and all I get is "I'm sorry you feel that way". When we're cooking, or going somewhere he'll take pictures of that, but nothing of me or us. And he's on social media all the time... It makes me so sad! I see other guys posting their girlfriends all the time, or when I want to show somebody my boyfriend I have no pictures and it makes me sad. Especially knowing that if something bad were to happen, I'd have nothing to look back on! I'm just so confused and looking for some advice.

Updates

1 y

update: He gets really upset when I bring it up and the end of it he always says he's sorry I feel that way. Other than that, he just gets really defensive and I've even asked him if he doesn't like getting his photo taken, and he doesn't mind it. With friends or his family he's always grinning ear to ear. And it's not like we have a bad relationship, we're always doing stuff together which is why I'm so confused

[PrettyPriya]

That is really strange that after that long he doesn't take pictures with you. Could it be because he himself is camera shy and insecure? I know a friend like that (in a relationship). He hates taking photos with his girlfriend or even in a group because he is insecure about his looks.

What does your boyfriend say when you have brought it up other than "I'm sorry you feel that way"? That might give some more insight as to why he doesn't take pictures. The odd part is why he wouldn't want pictures of just you. I have loads of pictures of my fiancé. He isn't super excited about getting his pic taken but tolerates it.

I am really wondering if it is more about him and less about you. I don't believe he would be with you for that long if he were embarrassed of you. That would make little to no sense at all. Any more info you can think of that might help expand on the issue?

[Asker]

I edited it at the bottom of my post! But it's just so strange to me...

[PrettyPriya]

Wow, okay so first thanks for the extra info. I am even more confused!! Is this a recent development or something that has always been this way? So weird...

[Asker]

Nope! At first when we started seeing each other he'd post us, but as soon as we made it official I was non existent from that point on...

[PrettyPriya]

Hmm, that seems like he was trying to appease you in the beginning and then once he had you he showed his real view on it and quit. Still, the underlying reason for not wanting to has got me stumped.

Let me get some more opinions... @SecretsofKB @Agape93 @SueShe I am really stumped and maybe a different perspective might help. The asker has given quite a bit of info here. I'm lost.

[Agape93]

One possibility is he has other girls and doesn't want to get posted online as being with you and thus outing himself as a creep.

[PrettyPriya]

@Agape93 Thanks hun. I hadn't really thought of that. I was trying to be positive but you very well may be correct.

[Agape93]

Anytime. I'm cynical so my brain goes to bad places lol

[PrettyPriya]

@Agape93 That may be what we needed though. It would make sense that he wants online people to view him as something he isn't.

[Agape93]

I've seen it before. Guys ducking out of view when she's on FaceTime as well

[Asker]

@Agape93 THAT!!! I've had that thought SO much. I just don't know how though. Can a cheater be that sneaky?

[PrettyPriya]

Oh yes, cheaters are super sneaky. They have to be. I was hoping this wasn't the case but she may be right, sadly.

[PrettyPriya]

It might also (again, sadly) a tactic to see what is out there and if something "better" comes along, he will already look single and ready to go.

[SecretsofKB]

So my first thought is that he's cheating or you aren't the only girl. But he moved in with you, which confuses the hell out of me.

Like @PrettyPriya said about her fiancé, I'm not a huge fan of pictures but my girlfriend loves to take pictures and I love her so I take the pictures.

You take the pictures for the person you love... but he's not doing that. He's fine taking pictures with family or inanimate objects. Yet he moved in with you.

Okay, so I think you are his safety net. You offer security and stability. He wants to enjoy the benefits of dating you while leaving himself a nice big exit strategy. He likes you enough to be with you, but if he gets a better offer, he's gone.

I think you need to get very really and blunt with him. You need to ask if he really wants to be with you because to me, it doesn't seem like it at all.

[Agape93]

I agree entirely

[SueShe]

There are a few reasons why a person will not post, share or take pictures with their SO or partner.

1. The most important reason I see is that the person sees her/his partner as no longer attractive enough to be seen together with him/her. This could be related with aging, weight gain, scarring or an overall loss of physical attractiveness.

2. Social pressure by friends/buddies that see the partner as not being attractive. This could result in avoiding to take pictures or be seen together with them. Since nowadays, everything must always automatically be posted online, this is a way to prevent to receive negative comments.

Behind every change of attitude and/or behavior lies a reason that needs to be found out. Discuss it with your boyfriend. You can suggest to have a set of pictures that will not be shared with others on social media but that are solely for your private use.

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you @SueShe for your great advice. 🙂

[boredgal]

that's really weird. I wonder what made him change. she might not be seeing anyone but I have a feeling he's hiding something. do you have access to his phone?

[Asker]

I do but i don't have the password for it...

[boredgal]

yeah i understand he also deserve some privacy but when my ex stopped posting pictures of me I later found out he's talking to other girls online

[Wise4myage]

That is weird, what does he say? Maybe he just hates pics of him, but why not sneak some for yourself.

[Asker]

I wish that was the case, but he's always taking pictures with friends. And i would but anytime I do he gets ahold of my phone and deletes them..

[Wise4myage]

Ok, so ask his friends to send you some of those pics. You can edit them if you want.

[truthisthree]

typical women trying to monkey branch

[Guy13]

That’s not good…

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one who asked you out

[legalboxers]

you need a new man