We've been best friends for like 7 years. Everyone always asks if we're together because we hold hands everywhere, he's always kissing me, and we take pictures kind of like this. Whenever I asked him if we were ever going to be official, he accused me of making things awkward and to just let things be. But if I start talking to another guy he gets pissed off and ignores me. I ask him what I'm supposed to do because I don't want to be single forever and he just says that "I'm his" but we don't have to be together for that to be true. He makes zero sense and I'm getting annoyed with him.
Why does he treat me like I'm his girlfriend, but won't actually be my boyfriend?
You have a life to live and a future to be had. So you need to let him know that. Put your foot down. Tell him something along the lines of "listen, I love you and I want to be official with you, so you need to tell me if we are going to do this or not. I have a life to go on with and I want you to go on with it with you, but if you're not willing to commit, I need go on without you". Tell him how it is and if he's going to act up some more and tell you nothing, you gotta let him go. And I hate to say it, but he's not your friend if he's not going to protect you, your feelings or your future.
You need to be straight with him. No matter his explanation, you need to let him no without any modicum of uncertainty that you want a proper relationship, and if he's not willing to be with you in that way then you will be pursuing someone who will. Tell him you're sorry, but that's how it has to be. That's the only way out. Otherwise he's going to keep everything vague and open-ended so that he can avoid the conflict and responsibility he's so scared of.
He's got everything he wants with you without having to commit so he can have fun with other women. I know you love him and probably are scared to lose what he does give you but if you are unhappy that way you gotta tell him it's not enough and you are gonna search for the man that will gladly give it all to you. And there is one probably even greater than him.
He doesn't need to do anything because you are right there, by his side, taking photos, holding hands, etc. and its been 7 years. Why does he need to change the status quo when you fall into line if all he does is get moody? You are a solid banker that he can rely on to do the faux-relationship stuff with in case he rejected by another woman.
Drop his ass. If a guy isn't directly showing you and telling you he wants to be in a relationship with you from the get go then there is no point in continuing on like this because he's just playing with you and using you You're better off finding a good guy who is going to be fully into and make it official.
Don't take his crap. You're not his girlfriend and you don't have to put yourself in a role as if you are. Before my ex and I started dating he did the same thing. He would treat me like I was his girlfriend, get mad if I was talking to other guys but we weren't dating. You don't owe this guy anything. Treat him the same way he treats you.
I totally understand him. Well, he loves you and cares about you. He just thinks that relationships are painful or pointless, or both. Look at his dating history and check how many times some girl broke his heart ! That must be it...
Because he's comfortable with his current condition - he gets the girl and he doesn't have to be committed. That simple.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
and this is the most awful thing about having a boy as a close friend , u got attached to him the he refuses being officially in relationship or something like this... try to stop talking to him for a few days and wait for the result if u miss each other and felt the things going weird and then u'll know what to do , don't let anybody un-aprreciates you for any reason u r so speacial and unique
he's trying to be open so he can do things with out you being able to have a say at least thats why i would do something like that but im not like that so dont quote me on this but its just my opinon
"hypocrite" is the word that describes him best, basically he wants to bang other girls while you can't.. Drop his behind to the curb.. he is simply wasting your life..
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