Why is it so hard for me to get women friends that are my age?

[Anonymous]

I’m 27 years old and ever since I was younger I had problems making/having girl friends. The times I did gain a girl friend and build a friendship with a girl we always eventually would stop talking and they would get new friends. I spent my high-school years as the girl who everyone knew but didn’t talk. I was known as the “Quiet girl” My closest friend is my blood sister, my cousin (Whose a girl) and my closet friend outside of my family is a co worker I met a few years ago and she’s old enough to be my aunt but I enjoy her company and being around her and our conversations. I have no problem communicating with guys though and not in a flirtatious way. It’s so easy for me to simple conversations with them and they just flow. I even had a close guy friend for years but he ended moving out of town but even now , at work for example, I communicate with more of my guy co workers than the women. I can never bring myself to ask for girls who are in my age group for their numbers and be apart of group chats and hang out with them and they also never approach me asking for my number or to hang out either. I’ll be nice to them, I’ll compliment them etc it’s never more than friendly banter in the moment. I’m starting to think I may be the problem.

[CuriousHubby]

Girls don't make friends really! Especially at work your a rival going for her spot at the top or your some one to step on!

If you do make friends like you said they move on fast.

My wife has a hard time just with how women have friendships. Often her friends get jealous of her social media when we are posting for us. Not bragging

Really it's not you it's how they were taught to see other women and great friends. Probably been used by some one nice

[Asker]

Yea, it always seem competitive. Like I notice other women at work have their women friend cliques but the same guy co workers I communicate with they communicate with as well but a lot of them come off more flirtatious with the guy co workers me, I just simply like having someone to talk to and it always just happens to be a guy because for the women at work, it’s like you described. It’s a competition for them but I swear that’s not what I’m after. All this time I thought the women were looking at me as the “hoe” of the job, in my head until I noticed that they talk to the same guy co workers I talk to, the only difference is they also talk amongst each other (other women) and I’m sort of just floating in the background.

[CuriousHubby]

Then float and just be yourself. Sorry they made you feel like the hoe!
Were they flirting or you?

Girls often flirt to try to get guys to do things or see them as good when they are pretty evil

[Asker]

I personally don’t flirt. Guys start conversations with me and the conversations with them just flow easier with them than with girls. They never made me feel like I was a hoe but more so in my head I just assume that’s what they think. Like, there’s the girl who never really talks to any of us but she seems to love talking to guys. When I honestly mean no harm and want to interact with the women at my job it just seems harder for me to talk to them than it is for me to talk to the guys because they don’t make it easy and we all have that “If she doesn’t talk to me. I won’t talk to her.” Attitude.

[Asker]

Also, when I’m communicating with a guy co worker and women or a woman walks by, they speak to the guy but they never say anything to me.

[Asker]

I don't know. I guess us women are just weird lol

[CuriousHubby]

They are in the work place trust me guys prefer talking with the nice real girls. Like you

You don't want anything and well they know the other girls probably do. If she does that she is not happy with you and jealous your talking to him.

Just make guy friends at work till one of the girls is really friendly wanting a real friend.

[BetaBucks]

What's wrong with friends that aren't your age? People act like age differences are some dramatic separation in interest and ability to get along. I have 60 year old friends and 20 year old friends. We all get along fine.

[DtMe89]

Making friends can be tough.. Trust me

[smurfwrangler]

why do you even need them?

[Asker]

I don't know, it would be nice to be around women my age that I can relate to and can relate to me.

[smurfwrangler]

at your age I would think you'd want a husband more

[Asker]

But then again I have some trauma with women my age because in elementary school I got bullied a lot mostly by my girl classmates. One minute they loved me and I was so cute and quiet and the next they were dragging me and pulling me around like I was some rag doll or outcasting me. That’s why I now I have hard time even bringing up the courage to speak to women my age because of that trauma as kid. I fear they’re mean girls but then I hate to judge and project.

[Asker]

What good would it be to have a husband and no life/friends outside of him?

[smurfwrangler]

a husband can easily fill the void

[Asker]

I don’t really just want to fill a void because that usually only a temporary fix

[Asker]

Finding a man is easy, they come and go but a good close friend doesn’t come by often

[smurfwrangler]

well if you don't get married soon, you'll be too old