Dads, how do you discipline your boys?

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mother of an 8 year old boy. His dad is totally out of the picture. As a mother, I have ZERO control. I tried everything. I have to play mother AND father. Also, nowadays I feel like there's so much judgmental on the right and wrong way to parent. My anxiety and depression is escalating. I also have no help from family and friends.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo this is tough, being a single parent is no joke, especially trying to play both mother and father roles. Props to you for hanging in there.

In my experience, discipline has to come from a place of care, not reaction or punishment. Make sure your son knows you're on his team and want what's best for him, not just enforcing arbitrary rules. Have open conversations to understand his perspective too.

As for actual discipline, taking away privileges or electronics for a set period is usually effective. But the key is following through consistently so he learns you mean what you say. Physical punishment will likely damage trust more than teach respect.

Maybe try engaging him in a sport, hobby, or volunteering so he has positive outlets. Leading by example with your own behaviors too. Counseling could also help work on listening skills and compromises.

Don't be too hard on yourself - what really matters is that he feels your love and support. Sounds like you're doing your best in a tough spot. Keep your head up, you've got this! And feel free to reach out if you need another male role model to talk to.

[Luckycharms12]

Explain the reason why he is behaving bad that is unacceptable. Boys you have to lay down the law show the child who is boss and back it up. So take toys whatever in when I was child we got spanked worked I know people say shouldn't do.

[Asker]

I block his Nintendo Switch (there's a parental control on app where you can turn it off) I take him out to run errands with me, we walk around town, go get food, or walk the dog. It's not like I am abandoning him. I am also an introvert.. I never party. I'm not going to lie, when I get home I let him watch YouTube (I'm aware of what he watches) and plays fortnite.) I'm so burned out and mentally paralyzed. He grabs his crotch thinking it's funny when I tell him it's extremely inappropriate especially in front of his mother. He'll do it again and proceeds day to day thinking it's funny. He begs me for money for this stupid game and I say no. One time I forgot to take off my card info on the Nintendo store and he bought 80$ worth of stuff. When I was a kid, I had the common sense to know not to do that. He calls me a bitch. He also constanly lays right by me uncomfortably on the tiny couch to watch tv. Whenever I move and tell him I need space, he proceeds. He'll abuse me and when I get up to leave, he says "no! Come back!" I explain to him
how a person is going to react if he were to do that to someone else. His actions destroyed my last relationship. My mental health is declining. I can't deal with him for another second. When I tell him that I need alone time in my room to collect myself, he bangs on my door or comes in after 5 mins. He'll also totally gaslight me and play victim when he's being bad.

[Luckycharms12]

Need to take control you are adult. Take Nintendo not getting it back till he starts listening. Grabbing his crotch to things you can do one is ignoring him get over it not get a response. The other slap him. Maybe get him involved in a sport good for confidence and teach him discipline team work. Also give you a break for a hour or two

[jahaims]

It will take a lot more work now. He is already 8. You were supposed to be instilling morals and values already. If he doesn't listen he doesn't respect you. You are going to have to take away privileges and communicate better.

[smurfwrangler]

you hit him